lifeguardsleeps
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 22, 2008
- Messages
- 254
hi everyone, im a long time lurker, occasional poster
I had started using heroin about two or three years ago and never had any real money, so my habit never got too bad. I would use a few bags a day for a week and then be sick the next week. I couldnt take the constant bouts of dopesickness, so i got clean.
i got clean for a year, and got a new addiction, which was making money working at my two legal jobs and going to school. i felt bad if i wasnt doing something i felt was "productive" this caused me to become depressed which caused me to start shooting dope again.
unfortunately i had a lot of money put away, so my habit got bad pretty fast i was shooting over 10 bags a day. i spent all the money so i went on suboxones. i lost one of my jobs and graduated school so i had more time to devote to heroin.
anyways i was selling my subs so my mom wouldnt buy them for me anymore. i didnt like being sick all the time, so i started doing some illegal activities and now my habit is like 30 bags a day just to stay well. i am spending 500-600 dollars a day. i feel like i am in a constant state of anxiety just trying to get that next hundred dollars and i can barely even keep myself well. any time i try to socialize or do something that doesnt involve getting money, or using drugs, i feel anxious, like im "wasting my time"
i only have one person who really cares about me and wants me to get clean, and he got a prescription of suboxone for himself, so that i can start taking them when im ready. the problems are 1. i cant wait the 24 hours in order to take the subs. 2. my habit is huge and i dont even think they'll help. i really want to cut down to like 10 bags a day before i start taking the subs.
so my question is how can i cut down my dope habit in order to start taking the subs? also, how can i start feeling human again and stop worrying about the next high so much?
i will be back on here later cause the hotel im staying at has a free computer. i hope u guys have put some good responses. thanks!
I had started using heroin about two or three years ago and never had any real money, so my habit never got too bad. I would use a few bags a day for a week and then be sick the next week. I couldnt take the constant bouts of dopesickness, so i got clean.
i got clean for a year, and got a new addiction, which was making money working at my two legal jobs and going to school. i felt bad if i wasnt doing something i felt was "productive" this caused me to become depressed which caused me to start shooting dope again.
unfortunately i had a lot of money put away, so my habit got bad pretty fast i was shooting over 10 bags a day. i spent all the money so i went on suboxones. i lost one of my jobs and graduated school so i had more time to devote to heroin.
anyways i was selling my subs so my mom wouldnt buy them for me anymore. i didnt like being sick all the time, so i started doing some illegal activities and now my habit is like 30 bags a day just to stay well. i am spending 500-600 dollars a day. i feel like i am in a constant state of anxiety just trying to get that next hundred dollars and i can barely even keep myself well. any time i try to socialize or do something that doesnt involve getting money, or using drugs, i feel anxious, like im "wasting my time"
i only have one person who really cares about me and wants me to get clean, and he got a prescription of suboxone for himself, so that i can start taking them when im ready. the problems are 1. i cant wait the 24 hours in order to take the subs. 2. my habit is huge and i dont even think they'll help. i really want to cut down to like 10 bags a day before i start taking the subs.
so my question is how can i cut down my dope habit in order to start taking the subs? also, how can i start feeling human again and stop worrying about the next high so much?
i will be back on here later cause the hotel im staying at has a free computer. i hope u guys have put some good responses. thanks!