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How are you in word? V. Darksiders feelings

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Papaverium said:
Undecided....

Debating if I should go back too school now that I've lost my job... If I can find a program that will give me a living allowence while I take the course, then I'm golden. *Crosses Fingers* Then I can find a part time job on top of that :)

~Verri
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hey Papav what was your job before? Would you like to try to apply into other jobs and then go to school so that you have at least an income to pay for the courses?
 
exhausted
I need a healthy, disciplined day of rest today, and then return to my routine of yard-work tomorrow. I've had a few days now where my discipline is gone, and I have bad momentum.
 
the more i talk to the girl who i loved, and who i'm trying to be friends with, the more i'm discovering who she really is, and i think she is just cold, unstable and narcissistic

and every time she says stuff like that she doesnt want to come back to her home town, or ignores a msg i send her, it makes me feel hurt, and unwanted, and like she wouldnt even want to see me ...

im at the point where i might just not talk to her until she talks to me next, even if thats a long ass time, its possibly miscommunication from both of us, but i get the feeling that she might just not want to talk to me atm
 
^what is so special about this girl that you like her so much? Just out of curiosity :)

Dreadful, im starting to hate Sunday nights cause the next day is hell work day
 
she was probably the first person to say she believed in me, and thought i had a lot to offer the world. she's the only person iv fallen in love with.

on the flipside i never got to know her very well, and because we are so bad at communicating she has indirectly caused me tremendous amounts of pain

i guess i have a lot of behaviour patterns to undo in terms of believing this person is perfect and thinking she was my soulmate etc (havent really believed in soulmates for quite a while now tho)

i need to make some new friends ...
 
^yeah hun, there are other women you will meet that are going to express more interest in you, don't get stuck in just one girl, lot's of fish in the sea :D

I guess the common mistake that people make is the assumption, thinking ahead that he/she is perfect and then the infatuation begins. I think everyone should learn to control these emotions until you have really gotten to know the person and there's reassurance that you will end up together.
 
Maya said:
hey Papav what was your job before? Would you like to try to apply into other jobs and then go to school so that you have at least an income to pay for the courses?
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I was working at a nursing home doing laundry. It was decent pay for not having completed highschool. But in Canada its free to go back to highschool as an adult. I'm applying today :) That way I can finally get my diploma out of the way, cause I'm already 22 and going nowhere in life lol. I think there are assistance programs that will give funding to students. I just hope this all works out.

So in conclusion, today I'm feeling determined!
 
sick.

took caffeine pills for my 14 hr shift and feel like garbage.
 
anhedonia
Feeling kind of spaced out. No pleasure from life ATM, no sex drive whatsoever (even porn is literally boring). Spine hurts. Feel really weak and really bored. Exhausted but I doubt that I could fall back asleep. I was able to do 2 hours of yard work, which is good exercise for me. Maybe I will build some momentum. Hopefully nothing serious is going wrong.
 
Impatient. Five more months Maya come on girl you are almost out of there!!
 
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