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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

How are you in one word ver. contagious smile

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^Lots of love to you, trip. <3

Weak. I'm supposed to do a suicide prevention walk today and I don't know if I can. Emotions are still too raw..
 
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spork said:
^Lots of love to you, trip. <3

Weak. I'm supposed to do a suicide prevention walk today and I don't know if I can. Emotions are still too raw..
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Spork <3

I'm so so so SO sorry for your recent loss. You are in my thoughts hun.

xx
 
Sad.

My uncle is in the hospital in a coma after having a stroke. He's on life support. I can't deal with this right now.
 
Better than I was 9 hours ago thanks to a newly made friend who helped pick me up from a hole I was in.
 
Bemused. So my ex rings last night, says she's passing, can she call in. This is the girl who blocked me on Facebook, ignored my calls and messages in recent weeks, cut me off completely when it was obvious I was having a complete meltdown, serious danger to myself and left me to do it on my own. Fair enough, I get that, it was pressure on her she didn't need, she needed some distance to work out where we both were in a somewhat confused relationship, I understand.

So we're talking, lots of things about what happened leading up to the break-up, and since, a conversation we've needed to have for a while actually, it was OK. But, she keeps interspersing it with questions that come out of nowhere every so often like 'Am I unloveable', 'Am I undateable', 'Am I a bad person', 'What's my worst trait', things like that. Eventually after an hour or so of this we get to her telling me she'd been seeing someone the last eight weeks and had got a text that morning from the guy saying they were done, he was going back to his ex.

Now, I have no problem with her seeing someone else. Trust me, I ran loads of images through my head, not a flinch, I'm fine with that. I'd be happy for her, one of the reasons we split was that she deserved someone who could give her what she wanted, which I couldn't and I was actually sad for her cos clearly it had all been quite intense and she was thinking she'd met someone worth investing in emotionally and was really quite hurt. What I'm struggling with, and keep alternating between is being glad we're talking again, and feeling really fucking angry that she could cut me loose and leave me swinging in the wind when she knew I really needed her as a friend when I was a serious danger to myself, then decides we're talking again and she needs to see me cos she's just been dumped and needed a cuddle. I'm having a hard time processing that.
 
^Oh God Sepher I feel you on that one. My ex recently got back in touch after cutting me out of his life completely when I was really, really in need of help, but now that he's newly single all of a sudden I'm an interest again apparently. Exes are bitches aren't they? :|
(Honestly though I'm kinda taking advantage of the whole thing because it feels like I finally have the upper hand with him, hehe)

I'm very relieved. My friend finally sent me a message so I know he's alive at least and I can stop worrying so much.
 
jittery:
think I used this vicks inhalers a few too many times. curse allergies and pns stimulant medication.
 
Stunned

Had a very bad morning and went to the casino in a moment of weakness. And I now have 6.3 times as much money in my name as I did six hours ago! Absolutely nuts that it went that way.

I then immediately tried to do what I have wanted to do for a long time if I came across money, and freakin legal red tape of course.

So I am elated and saddened as well. I gotta sit down and think everything through and not do anything dumb. I am very bad with money. But I have to use this for good, somehow.
 
So-fucking-lonely

And there's not too many people is want around anyway. I'm fucked.

Something has to give sooner or later. I'm worried its gonna go in the wrong direction.
 
Boupstarnm said:
So-fucking-lonely

And there's not too many people is want around anyway. I'm fucked.

Something has to give sooner or later. I'm worried its gonna go in the wrong direction.
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I know that feeling well. If you want someone to talk to or just need to vent, feel free to PM me. <3

My word now is okay.
 
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