How Are You in One Word v. Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Status
Not open for further replies.
Fed-up with my job. I'm calling in today (big surprise, eh? :|).

Pissed off with mine too Spork. I got sent home today, one day suspension for not going in Thursday last week cos I slept through, again, till bout 3pm. The insomnia thing is well beyond a joke now. Just can't seem to get a pattern going. 3-4 hours tops a night on a school night, force myself to stay awake when I get home, can't sleep no matter what. Can't afford to go to the climbing wall to try some exercise a few nights a week cos I keep getting short months losing pay for missing days. I'm sick of being skint cos of it, vicious cycle. Two weeks to payday, not a penny to my name.

Addiction unit won't give me anything cos they reckon it's for my GP to prescribe stuff like sleepers in case it's contra-indicated with anything else they're giving me ( Little tip: it's not! I'm not on anything FFS! ), GP won't give me anything I think cos as an ex-addict and alcoholic they just put it down to 'drug seeking behaviour'. At the GPs again on Weds and really gonna have it out with them. My job's on the line FFS. They have to give me something. I can buy benzos on the bloody internet, let's go the HR route with something none-benzo under medical supervision. You know it makes sense.

Raaaaaaargh! :! Vent mode off, aaaaand breathe.
 
Hope you're doing better now Sconnie :( <3

My word: stressed. My Microsoft Excel class is kicking my butt. I absolutely hate it when I don't understand something on the first try, and that's what this class is. It's so frustrating, I just want to give up but I know that's not the right option to choose.
 
^Ack I know that frustration. I had to take a few Excel classes years ago and I hated them. :( Just keep working through the book and ask your instructor if you're having trouble. They're there to help you.<3

My word now is cold. I turned the heat on for the first time today and I'm hoping it kicks in soon. Right now my toes and fingers are like ice cubes.
 
ATM: Huh?

Good, but confused; trying to run with it (several its, actually), but not sure that anything is a good idea right now.
 
emotional Caleb's friend wrote a song for him that she bravely sang a cappela at his memorial. It was such a beautiful song. I asked her for a copy but she said it wasn't ready. Now she is going to record it but she called to see if we had any video of Caleb, or any audio that she could use. I was not a video-taking parent. I actually hated video cameras (which I now of course really regret) because they just seemed to take away from the experience. Anyway, we do have a few from when he was really young and so we watched them. It was so painful to see his joy. All that pure unadulterated joy. I feel so sad now I can barely function. Fortunately it's evening and I don't have to function. I can be sad.
 
Similar mindset, Dave. I am hopeful it gets better.

I'm frustrated because my family pulled a total sellout. Now my cousin is going to come live with me. I adore my cousin, she's a sweetheart. I cannot put up with my stupid family. I moved 700 miles away from those fools to live an independent life, and now my cousin is going to come live here?!

I don't have any brothers or sisters. Only child syndrome is so kicking in. My roommate is a sweetheart and I can't task her with this crap. I do not come as a package, I'm the independent one. My mother's family has said that they will take care of my cousin, and we do have a spare room. I wanted visitors this holiday season, not of my mother's family... but I know I'm doing the right thing by overseeing this shit. I will have my own house someday.

I clearly have a case of the unfinished business on all levels. I have the whole day off tomorrow, so I will be tucked in with my blankets in my adorable little room, which I have made into a seclusion zone. I have had to place the project of meeting the right dude aside for now. Must love dogs and family obligations. I've got a job to do.
 
alive
hey, that's a fucking start. and shocking! alive for the shock value, folks. that's me.

90s nostalgia fucking myself, watching the mosquito coast. ie wishing river phoenix was fucking me which is creepy because he is like a kid in this. and most things he was in.
 
{stale}

But my life is getting a good shake up atm, so hopefully i'll land somewere fresh once things work themselves out.
 
so sad....

i have never been heartbroken like this before.
i dont know how to get over this and move on with life.
... though I empathise with you, I don't know your exact pain - as its yours, but I'm telling you with certitude-that its times like these that make you know yourself in a way that noone else can. All that pain is letting you know how much and what you're made of and that is a trial that is worthy of the fight.
Stay with it. You aren't alone love. You will overcome it and come out the better for withstanding it.
Much love and respect to you now. <3<3<3

Somewhat self-loathing right now. For a change.

None of that! Fight it doll! ;)
<3
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top