How Are You in One Word v. Somewhere Over the Rainbow

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Annoyed, going to have to go to the ER tonight...I'm allergic to milk and drank some the other night because I'd forgotten just how bad it gets (used to be much lighter) and I had to go get a shot because I couldn't breathe, ha. And now it's starting up again, been wheezing for a few hours, but I don't wanna goooooo :(
 
Contemplating on ways that I can avoid using any valium for at least a few days but preferably a week.
Not easy when I know I've got 142 of them sat in my draw.
 
Cheerful. Turns out I was wrong about my friend & I was jumping to conclusions (as usual). :)

Oh, YAY, Spork! That is what I was hoping for. :D

@Pagey--sorry you are feeling sick.

@Maxalfie--can you give them to someone trusted to hand out to you later?

me: pretty confused about a lot of things but also trusting that they will all work out. Since that's 2 words I won't post one tomorrow.=D
 
^ get rid of em mate.


Sentimental

Kind of happy now but sad and hurt. Glad to learn what i'm made of in a way.
 
I am feeling terrible :(
I had a complete and utter mental breakdown today.
I am going to fail my uni exams in 2 weeks time. There is no way out of it. I don't have the time nor the inclination to study, so, fuck it. I think I'm going to drop out of my degree altogether because I'm not gonna make it to graduation anyway. I just can't do it.
I don't deserve good things anyway so why even bother trying.
 
^Even if you fail the exams, is that reason to throw it all away? Two weeks is a lot of time and no matter what is holding you back you'll feel better about it when you pass them - of which I am sure you are capable :)

Me, sad. It has been so long since I've connected w/ anyone to whom I could actually be romantically inclined. During my mid-twenties it has been nothing but physical connections, and I just miss desiring someone beyond that level :|
 
There is always a way(some way, remember your life is bigger than your problems with uni-not to fob it off but your health is more important atm-the rest will follow)...Im guessing there are repeats or you could repeat the year(as shit as it would be) it may be an option, there could be others-don't be so hard on yourself.

Keep the head hun, just do what you can do-the more stress you put on yourself the more you sabotage yourself already more than you have(by the sounds of it)
Of course the exams are important-but what matters more is how you deal with yourself in the situation that you're in at the moment. Beating yourself up and punishing yourself, isn't going to help...take time out if you need. Take it easy with yourself before you make any decisions/judgements, yeah? <3<3<3
 
I don't deserve good things anyway so why even bother trying.

Woah, where the fuck did this come from? This is not the positive together n3o we know, what's going on here? What's deserve got to do with anything?

Listen, giving up completely is the sure way to fail. I know it only two well, bailing towards the end of year two of a B.A. as Heroin addiction took hold. No matter how little you think you got to give force yourself to give as good as you got, do what's necessary. Might surprise yourself, and a more pro-active response than defeated resignation. Give yourself the best chance you can. You can find a way to do this if you want to, no question.
 
Woah, where the fuck did this come from? This is not the positive together n3o we know, what's going on here? What's deserve got to do with anything?

.

Your right Sepher in your encouragement and your obviously a good mate. ;)
I rekon the lovely N30phyte is as humanoid as the rest of us though. We all have our shit to deal with.
If you dont deal with it on your terms, rather than on others, it can come back to bite you in the ass at a later stage.
Honesty with yourself is respect for yourself and sometimes this means facing your own negativity and addressing it-it can be a really cathartic thing.
 
^^ Thank you my love <3


^Even if you fail the exams, is that reason to throw it all away? Two weeks is a lot of time and no matter what is holding you back you'll feel better about it when you pass them - of which I am sure you are capable :)
Thank you moe <3
It is going to be really difficult because I work full-time. I knew when I took on the full-time role 2 months ago that it would be hard come exam time. But I am just way too fragile to cope with this amount of stress at the moment.
I hope you're feeling happier soon dude, the right girl will come along soon <3


There is always a way(some way, remember your life is bigger than your problems with uni-not to fob it off but your health is more important atm-the rest will follow)...Im guessing there are repeats or you could repeat the year(as shit as it would be) it may be an option, there could be others-don't be so hard on yourself.

Keep the head hun, just do what you can do-the more stress you put on yourself the more you sabotage yourself already more than you have(by the sounds of it)
Of course the exams are important-but what matters more is how you deal with yourself in the situation that you're in at the moment. Beating yourself up and punishing yourself, isn't going to help...take time out if you need. Take it easy with yourself before you make any decisions/judgements, yeah? <3<3<3
Thank you so much hun <3 Yep, I am in hyper-aggressive self-sabotage mode today. I just cannot quieten that voice inside my head that is screaming at me that I am worthless and undeserving of anything good. It just won't stop :(


Listen, giving up completely is the sure way to fail. I know it only two well, bailing towards the end of year two of a B.A. as Heroin addiction took hold. No matter how little you think you got to give force yourself to give as good as you got, do what's necessary. Might surprise yourself, and a more pro-active response than defeated resignation. Give yourself the best chance you can. You can find a way to do this if you want to, no question.
Thanks mate <3
I just.....can't though :( I fucking can't do it.

Woah, where the fuck did this come from? This is not the positive together n3o we know, what's going on here?
She doesn't really exist mate, it's all a facade. I expend all my energy trying to make it appear that everything is okay. But deep down everything is really really not okay :\
*sigh*


Aw n3o I know how you feel. I've recently dropped out of my degree because I couldn't handle it :(
Yeah, I hear ya man, and thanks. How long did you have to go before you dropped out?
 
I just cannot quieten that voice inside my head that is screaming at me that I am worthless and undeserving of anything good. It just won't stop :(

Ride that shitstorm out-you are bigger and stronger than it-despite how it makes you feel. You will overcome it my love. Just be kind-you have so much of it in you that all you have to do is be yourself and stay with it, till it dissipates(I know its counter intuitive and painful but you ARE stronger).
Like Moe said, you have so much love/strength in you that you shared with others-thats yours! yes, you're not perfect but that is healthy, normal, beautiful-and you know that!! ;) <3

ash-tree.jpg
 
Thank you moe <3
It is going to be really difficult because I work full-time. I knew when I took on the full-time role 2 months ago that it would be hard come exam time. But I am just way too fragile to cope with this amount of stress at the moment.
I hope you're feeling happier soon dude, the right girl will come along soon <3

Yet, I do know how you feel: I've dropped out of grad school the last two semesters - and all I have left is to write my thesis. I feel like such an idiot, but at the same time I know I'm going to clean up and do it. I don't know why, but I just believe I'm going to finish it. And for whatever reason that mindset helps. It's the usual: I'm on the cusp of something great, get overwhelmed, make unhealthy decisions, and foil the whole damn thing. Totally relates to the romantic situation as well.

But now I'm complaining instead of encouraging. Since I'm sure you know you are capable of completing the task you just need to motivate yourself.... is there any reward you can promise yourself? Any way you can make it less daunting and more bearable? To not do it will set yourself up for more misery :(
 
agitated
i just want to sleep more than three hours at once and not be awake at 6am and not have to walk to the store to get cigarettes and come back and feel completely exhausted in every way from just going to the store and still not sleep

roommate is gone for a week so he is getting a break and i am getting a little crazier than usual
 
^^ What is keeping you up hun?


Ride that shitstorm out-you are bigger and stronger than it-despite how it makes you feel. You will overcome it my love. Just be kind-you have so much of it in you that all you have to do is be yourself and stay with it, till it dissipates(I know its counter intuitive and painful but you ARE stronger).
Like Moe said, you have so much love/strength in you that you shared with others-thats yours! yes, you're not perfect but that is healthy, normal, beautiful-and you know that!! ;) <3

Yet, I do know how you feel: I've dropped out of grad school the last two semesters - and all I have left is to write my thesis. I feel like such an idiot, but at the same time I know I'm going to clean up and do it. I don't know why, but I just believe I'm going to finish it. And for whatever reason that mindset helps. It's the usual: I'm on the cusp of something great, get overwhelmed, make unhealthy decisions, and foil the whole damn thing. Totally relates to the romantic situation as well.

But now I'm complaining instead of encouraging. Since I'm sure you know you are capable of completing the task you just need to motivate yourself.... is there any reward you can promise yourself? Any way you can make it less daunting and more bearable? To not do it will set yourself up for more misery :(
Thank you SO much Asclepius and moe <3
You've really helped me today.

I will pull myself out of this funk sooner or later.
 
Yeah, I hear ya man, and thanks. How long did you have to go before you dropped out?

I had about a month and a half left of my Diploma. I regret dropping out now though. Stick with it, you'll be happy you did. And remember once you've finished the course, it doesn't matter if you passed with 100% or 75%, all that matters is you have that piece of paper that says you did it.
 
n3o--- I'm so totally out of the loop, I had no idea that you were working full time while working on grad school. That is seriously hard mode. If anyone could do it, you could... but grad school is at least 1.5 full time jobs on its own. I can't offer advice, as I don't know all the bits and pieces, but you've been doing so well in school up until now. Exams are designed to be stressful, but you're also a perfectionist, and I have complete confidence that you can excel at this. You've done so much and come so far in the time that I've known you; this is a rough patch, but it doesn't seem (from my uninformed, 3rd person perspective) to be the hardest thing that you've had to deal with.

tl;dr. YOU CAN DOO EET! ;)

ATM: Twitchy. Coffee on an empty stomach isn't the best idea I've ever had. To the foodatorium!
 
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