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How are you in one word v. Pedalling through the dark currents

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completely beyond depressed...

all i see is darkness.
i cant do this anymore.


taking a lyric from atmosphere, because i cant find the words...

"reality is just too much to bear with."
 
godlovesugly said:
completely beyond depressed...

all i see is darkness.
i cant do this anymore.


taking a lyric from atmosphere, because i cant find the words...

"reality is just too much to bear with."
Click to expand...

Shit gets better trust me on that. Ive gone from bottomless pits of despair to feeling like the luckiest cunt on the face of the planet in a few days or less. So try and hang in there ok? <3

As for me fucking frustrated and a wee bit pissed off.
 
n3ophy7e said:
good
I think...
This week has been another rollercoaster!
Click to expand...

my therapist would flip if she hears the word "good" as a feeling! u gotta feel something lol.


i'm hungry.. i've yet raided my sandwich stash yet. theres yummy turkey breast in the fridge with my name on it! (I wrote my name on it with a sharpie..)

gonna hit up a meeting tonight, talk 2 my sponsor, and call it a night.
 
^^ Oh man that sucks!! Not cool at all. Such a fucking hassle to cancel all your cards and stuff :(
*hugs* <3

D's said:
my therapist would flip if she hears the word "good" as a feeling! u gotta feel something lol.
Click to expand...
Lol that is a good point man :D
Okay, I feel relieved that it's the weekend :)
 
fed the fuck up.

i dont know why i bother reaching out to anyone when i'm still in a good mood and trying to salvage it before it falls apart, because it always ends up with me feeling like a worthless, unwanted piece of shit, after txting or msging 5-20 of these people who are supposed to be my "friends," and getting ignored by every single one.

and i especially dont know why i fucking come to bluelight when i'm happy and confident, because if i dont get flat-out ignored by everyone, the only responses i get are all demeaning and abusive, quickly reminding me that i'm deluding myself by thinking i actually have a legitimate reason to be happy and confident.

i dont know which is worse, the total isolation i've been living with for as long as i can remember, or the bullshit i have to deal with when i'm trying to improve my situation.
 
i suppose convincing

convincing and of actual sound mind enough to get the cops out my yard...
psychs off my face, & paramedics bored.
crazy?
hardly...

off the tenacity they wish, ? lol,,, dare to try..?
ready for junk food....
 
@ Asc.

according to whom i encounter unselfishly, with no biased,professionally,
an example of utter strength.
how could i fool the fooled mass of medical professionals who just left???
with zero follow up..?

im in hell, but more then okay.
a sane person in the fight,
a physical one,
which matters to none except my self, so it is acceptable to the many.

<3 live in light and love <3

6>|i|<9
 
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Word: Anxious.
The tsunami wave at my house is supposed to be anywhere from 6 inches to 6 ft.
If its actually 6 ft we'll actually be in trouble- If its a foot, no big thing.
All the ships are moving out and I THINK we'll br okay b/c the state ferry is parked behind an island across from us- so its hiding in the protected zone- what sort of worries me is all the ships heading out of our area........
 
ugh, i guess if one word could sum up my existence at this moment it would be fucked
just tapered down another .25mg from clonazepam down to 1.25 now.... hate this shit, nothing is real, heart is pounding, vision all hazy, christ
 
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