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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

How are you in one word? v. 2012

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relaxed: was on my feet all afternoon/night but at least I worked with my friend. She's chill and I'm excited that we work tomorrow night together too C: means work won't be that bad..... But now I'm chillin for now and listening to music.
 
Sunburned

Seriously! A few friends and I had an impromptu BBQ yesterday to celebrate graduation. I spent most of the day outside with them along the river. I am so happy that the sunshine has decided to resurface. I don't think I was burnt this badly when I lived in Florida and was out on boats every weekend. I'm taking it easy tonight.

I also met up with my high school mock trial partner, who was in the city on business this week. It is so strange that however many miles we travel and however many years go by, the friendships we have made have gone the distance. We did some damage to his expense account. He has been in the military and got his doctorate. I am ridiculously proud of the success stories our program produced. We were somewhat of a trial as to secondary schooling; most of us have done finely. :) I'm the screwup if anything. ;)

So I can say I am happy right here in this moment.
 
Content

I'm done work, am hanging with my awesome GF, and dicking around on the net and doing some work towards my M.Sc. Warm, safe, well fed, good company, and interesting material to read.There are a lot of people in the world who would literally KILL to be safe, warm and well fed with someone they love and the ability to pursue an education, what more then could I really want?
 
^^ Content. I had a decent nightshift, and as I walked home I heard the birds twitter - one of the most beautiful signs that spring is arriving... Now is pancakes-time! =D
 
VW: It's always pancakes time, man! I'm having crepes for breakfast, myself. :)

ATM: Dunno. Been getting a lot of mixed-state, good on the surface but shit underneath, demotivated but grinning (then swinging to despondent) stuff going on of late. Goes to show that I still have some work to do, to get used to having these bloody emotions. It was so much simpler (albeit miserable) when they were all muffled.
 
Falling.

my depression has been exponentially ramping in the last few days. i'm not doing anything. just shaking and crying on and off, staring blankly into space for hours and not talking to anyone. i've had social obligations the last 3 days that i need to fulfill and i'm walking through them like a dead man.
i feel asleep
my strength to keep up with this shit is fading and fading, i've pushed myself through so much depression out of sheer willpower, my strength is fading.
:/
 
irked I've worked every damn weekend and holiday overnight since before XMAS, and I wanted tonight off to go a show with my S/O, but at the last minute someone calls in sick.

FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU
 
sorrow I seen my ex GF while at work last, just by chance, she was the most painful and depressing break up I've ever had and that just brought the memories crashing back.

feels bad man
 
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