How are you in one word? v. 2012

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Alone..

for a few hours..and happy about it.

Captain..panic is a word I understand way too well..
I wish you victory in trying not to do it!
Whatever situation has you on the verge, I hope it ends well and soon.

<3token
 
content. Going to work after being sick for three days was great. The kids were all like "Hey Mr. VanWeyden, are you finally healthy again?". Multiplied my self esteem and inner warmth by factor 100
 
headfucked On my way to a crash and a half, dunno why i just know
 
Solid.

I'm feeling good, and have been having some wonderful conversations with some good friends of mine, so life is still moving forward from my deep depression earlier. I love having reconnected with a good friend of mine who I've been out of contact for about a year and half to two year after her moved while I was at college. He's back in my home state near all my friends from college, so we got each others updated numbers and basically been talking like neither one of us has been apart from each other. I love that feeling. I seriously have some of the best friends in the world. They are really making me try and dive into myself to keep moving forward, making the best of myself. I know if I stop making little mistakes and make the most out of my talents I'll be able to get back with my good friends, and back into a a successful educational career.

I've been working hard with my counselor to find ways to get back into being productive everyweek, so I'm trying hard to work out atleast 3 times a week and producing music 2-3 times a week. I know that now with myself being less depressed I need to get back into doing these activities so I don't fall back into the depression. I know how easy it could be to become suicidal again if I don't try reach my goals.

Also, I did get my methadone script refilled, so I know I atleast have a chance to not loss my script. Gotta make sure I take it as prescribed and not take any other drugs. I've been good about not abusing really anything, but taking bupe because I ran out of my script early almost fucked me, so there is still work for me to do. I got my dose up to 30mg a day anyway, so it's actually at a decent daily dose with my opioid tolerance. I really have no excuse anymore.
 
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