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How are you in one word? v. 2012

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I'm feeling amazing!!!!!!!! Todays going to be a good day. I'm enjoying myself and I'm happy for once. Hahah my mom and I were dancing to jump around...the video came on tv and it felt good to just do that, have a laugh or two. Anyways all I can say today is great.
 
RedLeader said:
What happened? Are you okay?
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Just another failed attempt @ giving my heart and love, Its not official but she walked out yesterday morning, said she would call in the evening... But nothing :(
all i seem to do is upset her these days anyway, i have noticed the vibe and kinda seen it coming. Was just praying it wasnt true and that I could get my shit together but nup. Too late, It's beginning to be the story of my life.
 
^ Failed romances are one of the biggest relapse triggers out there. I've been there and know how hard it is. I guess all I can say is that it's kind of insane to reach for the very thing that ruined your relationship when depressed over your ruined relationship. You got to learn from your mistakes, or else you'll never be happy. Even if she does leave you, wouldn't you want her to think of you as 'the one that got away' instead of 'the one I'm glad I got away from' when you run into each other 6 months down the road grocery shopping...?

Annoyed

These court-ordered AA/NA meetings are really getting old fast. I'm trying my best to be open-minded and make the most of them, but I just fundamentally disagree with the philosophy of it all. I would try and explore other meetings at other locations, but this court-ordered license suspension significantly limits me. I wish the courts would instead order me to go to the gym, to play music, to go for runs, or anything else that actually does help me stay clean/sober. These meetings ultimately give me the only cravings of my days, and the only way I seem to be able to get through them is by daydreaming and "passing." Ugh...
 
RedLeader said:
^ Failed romances are one of the biggest relapse triggers out there. I've been there and know how hard it is. I guess all I can say is that it's kind of insane to reach for the very thing that ruined your relationship when depressed over your ruined relationship. You got to learn from your mistakes, or else you'll never be happy. Even if she does leave you, wouldn't you want her to think of you as 'the one that got away' instead of 'the one I'm glad I got away from' when you run into each other 6 months down the road grocery shopping...?

Annoyed

These court-ordered AA/NA meetings are really getting old fast. I'm trying my best to be open-minded and make the most of them, but I just fundamentally disagree with the philosophy of it all. I would try and explore other meetings at other locations, but this court-ordered license suspension significantly limits me. I wish the courts would instead order me to go to the gym, to play music, to go for runs, or anything else that actually does help me stay clean/sober. These meetings ultimately give me the only cravings of my days, and the only way I seem to be able to get through them is by daydreaming and "passing." Ugh...
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... uh oh

may your wishes grow more few and far between;
what did you do to cause you to now wish ?

patience is not much more then a thought which brings the realization of
a new beginning with out an ends.
 
panic in paradise said:
patience is not much more then a thought which brings the realization of
a new beginning with out an ends.
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I like that! Thanks for the words. You're always good with the profound. :)

As for what's causing me to wish, well I've finally found a formula that keeps me sober, clean and okay in my own skin, which has been working for a few months now, and I wish I could figure out how to incorporate these meetings into that formula. I guess all of those times of going to NA under-the-influence during my addiction are coming back to haunt me, because I've established a lot of cognitive associations between the rituals of AA/NA and being high. Living life on life's terms has always been one of the hardest things for me to do. And I'm not very good at figuring out how to not be triggered by people, places and things which have served as huge triggers throughout my addiction. So I'm wishing that I can figure out how to make these meetings constructive to my rehabilitation, as life's asking me to go to a bunch of them this year.
 
herbavore said:
^ snowboarder! Where you been? So good to see your name.:)

@splat--that really is wonderful. Whenever I feel a friend's love like that it makes me realize how important it is for me to give that same level of love and recognition back to my friends. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own needs that we forget that everyone needs to be appreciated in that way. If you love someone, tell them. Tell them often and tell them why! <3

so that brings me to: appreciative of all my friends here and in my life outside of BL.
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was sick with the worst flu i have had in years and on top of that i had a touch of pneumonia
 
royaly Wrecked
It makes me sadder to see all the right things posted @ me, then go and fuck it all up. Its a sad day for me, I really thought i was stronger and that no matter what i'd get thru... Shit happens folks, I'm deeply sorry for all those Iv'e dissapointed:(
 
Some people are consumed with thoughts and memories from their past. Their mourning, regretting, rehashing and begrudging doom them to life imprisonment in their painful past. They cannot live the present moment, as free persons. The reality is that the past is gone; all that's left of it now is impressions or images lingering in the depths of our consciousness.
Mindful breathing lets us see clearly that the abuse, threats, and pain we had to endure in the past are not happening to us now, and we can abide safely here in the present. Breathing mindfully, we know the events playing out in these mental movies are not real, and simply remembering that fact removes their power.

--Thich Nhat Hanh--
 
Carl Landrover said:
Worried

I have little to no appetite lately and barely eat anything
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Can you try to get in a full small meals a day, just to make sure you're getting some nutrition? Even something like a tub of yoghurt, or a smoothie or a milkshake. Something that is easy to get down but nutritious as well.
 
n3ophy7e said:
Can you try to get in a full small meals a day, just to make sure you're getting some nutrition? Even something like a tub of yoghurt, or a smoothie or a milkshake. Something that is easy to get down but nutritious as well.
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"full"/"few" :\


Carl, down food with water, like you're doing parachutes. Malnourishment only feeds drug addiction more.
 
S.M.F.G said:
royaly Wrecked
It makes me sadder to see all the right things posted @ me, then go and fuck it all up. Its a sad day for me, I really thought i was stronger and that no matter what i'd get thru... Shit happens folks, I'm deeply sorry for all those Iv'e dissapointed:(
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You have not disappointed anyone here S.M.F.G. so use your disappointment with yourself to get right back up and back on track. Leave that disappointment behind--it's just a springboard. Falling, failing, relapsing, whatever you want to call it, it is part of the process; it is not an end. Fucking up and fucking it ALL up are vastly different. <3
 
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