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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

how are you in 1 word ?

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worried
I think one of my back teeth is fucked....it's been hurting on and off for a while but I think it's dying now. Boooo :(
 
scared/anxious/sad.

i dont know how to deal with his manic depression sometimes. i dont know what to say or do when he says he wants to kill himself. ive tried everything. i dont know what to do anymore. i cant save him, but ill never give up trying to...



"and i will hold
i will hold your head above the water
while the current pulls me under
as long as you have breath, my dear
i will dance with death

and i will hang my life in the space between
the noose and your neck
and i won't let you die just yet

i can't save you
control is something out of mine


i will love you even when you won't let me
and you will kill me by doing nothing
but i know it's not you, my dear, i know it's not you
it's the nothing that kills


i can't save you, but i will love you
i like to think that this is love
lost in second chances without end
this is romance"
 
Currently feeling: Irked. I absolutely detest the fact that I habitually manipulated my way out of regularly attending and completing schoolwork since preschool. I never saw a point in devoting my time towards anything that did not bring me any pleasure. Now, as an adult, I realize that much of that previously stated pleasure I am so fond of, will not be attained without doing so. With that said, I just found myself seriously struggling with basic mathematics. I was attempting to do a bit of 'finance balancing', and although I could come up with the correct answer in my head, I could not figure it out on paper. I spent about 20 minutes trying to remember how to do basic math that I spent each school year ditching. This is incredibly bothersome, but very necessary. Since early childhood, I have manipulated and avoided reality in every way, shape, and form. As unforgiving as this realization is, I have a hell of a lot of lost time to make up for in life.
zvd893.gif
 
^^ A big and daunting task, perhaps, but definitely not unachievable. SOoO, anyone can do ANYTHING if they put their mind to it, I truly believe that. Especially someone as bright as you, you're capable of more than I suspect you give yourself credit for <3
 
godlovesugly said:

i dont know what to say or do when he says he wants to kill himself.
Click to expand...

great poem firstly...

and threatening suicide in a relationship is far too much i think.

when i got married we swore not pull that shit on each other, and we didnt... there were times that i would catch myself starting heading that way, but i had to stop myself as i expected the same and understood why, even as a angry hallow expression or w/e.

IDK yalls situation and everyone is different, but - maybe after this settles down lay it out, and explain that you wouldnt/dont do the same and explain further as to why... with examples.


there is only so much you can do about it either way honestly, sounds like a point to look at what you want, and feel what you can honestly expect from him, and what you honestly have to give for now. no matter who he was with, or what the situation; if some one is capable and at the exasperating point where they feel there is no return, it would be done no matter what the environmental situation was or path of life chosen.

if this is becoming a habit a 'wild card' to pull, something used that he knows will get into your head,,, if thats the case then my advice would be simple - tell him to //-/ off with it.
 
relieved
Had awful stomach pains earlier this evening but some ibuprofen and buscopan made short work of that.
 
goole'M

willow-water(distilled water neutral charge) makes an ionic neutralizer, a growth hormone, and anti-inflammatory(as aspirin essentially).

chaste-berry is a TNF-pain blocker(anti inflammatory), balances female hormones especially, and more.
use 20-30 drops per 8-12oz water once a day
 
(Trying to be) Accepting. I just can't fall asleep lately for whatever reason so I'm gonna have to avoid making any plans in advance and try to squeeze in my neglected school work in whenever it's possible. Might as well suck it up and make the most of the day anyways. Mmm, coffee.
 
panic in paradise said:
great poem firstly...

and threatening suicide in a relationship is far too much i think.

when i got married we swore not pull that shit on each other, and we didnt... there were times that i would catch myself starting heading that way, but i had to stop myself as i expected the same and understood why, even as a angry hallow expression or w/e.

IDK yalls situation and everyone is different, but - maybe after this settles down lay it out, and explain that you wouldnt/dont do the same and explain further as to why... with examples.


there is only so much you can do about it either way honestly, sounds like a point to look at what you want, and feel what you can honestly expect from him, and what you honestly have to give for now. no matter who he was with, or what the situation; if some one is capable and at the exasperating point where they feel there is no return, it would be done no matter what the environmental situation was or path of life chosen.

if this is becoming a habit a 'wild card' to pull, something used that he knows will get into your head,,, if thats the case then my advice would be simple - tell him to //-/ off with it.
Click to expand...


yeah he does this bullshit all the time. its getting old. and im getting tired of it. threatening suicide all the time isn't a joke to me...i take it seriously. i really think he just does it for my attention. he is manic depressive, but still...he takes it too far, and he KNOWS it. i cant do it anymore. im starting to not give a shit, im over it.



my word: annoyed.

i can't keep up with your turning tables. :!:(8)
 
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