Horrific Falling

[Squirt]

this is dedicated to last night, and the person who was with me by my side the whole time. i know i wasn't the only one. i'm still sorry.
======================
Helpless heap of hysteria and tears on the floor.
Close my eyes -- make it go away.
Tumbling nervosity down the dark rooms;
Eternal rooms with ominous columns.
Fire
Flames
Forever
Heat
Hell
Open my eyes -- make it go away.
The walls dance, swim, mocking, laughing, toying, taunting
Still falling
Frustrated.
Pace the room -- make it go away.
Make it stop.
I'm ready for it to stop.
I'm ready for it to be over.
It should be over by now.
Feel the hair growing out of my scalp.
Tingling
Tormenting
Must cut it off.
Must make it go away.
Must make it stop.
Put on my handkerchief.
It barely helped.
Mustn't bite my lip -- can't tell how hard I'll do it.
Anxiety
Paranoia
Sit down -- make it go away.
Head on my folded arms
Monotony
Fire
Teasing
Flames
Mocking
Hell
Psychological pain
Heat
Stop! STOP! STOP!!
Goddammit, fucking make it STOP!
Scream internally alongside the flowing tears.
Held my hand.
Comforted me.
Breathed with me.
That's all I needed.
Didn't get mad.
Didn't yell.
Kept the scissors away.
Held me.
Don't know what I would have done.
Burned up, maybe.
So appreciative.
More than he'll ever know.
Would have cut my hair off.
Would not have stopped crying.
Would have gone insane.
Thank you for saving my sanity.
Thank you for saving me.

 

[bc]

wow squirt. i've been there before. you reminded all too well what it's like there.
glad you made it out allright.
bc

 

[fizzygirl]

glad you're ok...we were worried..{{{hugs}}}

 

[Angelight]

sweetie, times like that can be so scary..i am glad you are alright.
much love
ange

 

[MiNiMoWs]

<----- *wonders why she let her goofed-up plans and crickety-crackedy friends get in the way of meeting this incredible, beautiful, dazzling girl*
squirt,
this is stunning.
and so are you.
xoxox.barbie
(i'll call you in the next several days)

 

[zero9zero]

you have no idea how worried i was.
love you.
dave

 

[ice-9]

breathtaking words.
As i said before, i enjoyed chatting with you the other night.

if you want to vent some more just drop me an e-mail...

 

[Zennie]

I hope you are doing better, my dearest Squirtle. I miss you. Drop me a line. I hope you can maybe come over here in the summer? That would be absolutely stupendous.
Zen