I guess I should start by telling ya'll that I've done ecstasy twice.
So when I first experimented, I was with friends having a great time in a safe place. We combined shrooms with our pills and I had about an 2/8th of shrooms and about 3 hits of ecstasy, spread out through the night. I remember having an amazing spiritual fulfilling epiphany on life, love and happiness. I was around 15 at the time. The comedown was rough but wasn't horrible. Just woke up super thirsty and was tired for a whole day. Other than that it was a GREAT experience.
Fast-forward 4 years and I now live in a new state, dancing at a strip club. My life was decent, no stress, no issues. It began as a normal Friday night at work. The club was getting full, I was making great money within an hour of coming into work. My schedule that night was 9 p.m till 6 a.m so I had a long night ahead of me. A good friend of mine who was also a dancer hooked me up with a hit of ecstasy, just one as I knew I haven't done it in years, and I just wanted to relax and have a great fun time a work. I took my pill at around 11 p.m as did she.
I remember not being able to sit still, I constantly had to get up and walk around randomly. My mind was still in a decent state, but my body was wired. I sat down with one of my regulars and he asked for a private dance but I had to decline for the simple fact I was super paranoid. Next thing I know I'm walking towards the bathroom so that I could avoid everyone, I was half way there when the "explosion" hit. My body got real tingly, everything around me started to look unreal, more fake, I felt where my clothes touched my body and it felt awkward, unnatural. Now to remind you guys I work at a strip club so there's constant loud music, the music seemed to have gotten twice as loud. I make it to the bathroom which has mirrors everywhere, I looked at myself and in my mind I was freaking the hell out. I couldn't stand to look at myself for some reason? I leave the bathroom and head outside where I knew my good friend who hooked me up was at. She was smoking a blunt with another dancer that I was fairly cool with. They knew something was wrong. One of them handed me the blunt and said it would calm me down. It made it much worse. I touched my legs and remember it feeling like a silk cloth, my hands and my face felt wet even though they weren't. I told one of the girls to get the manager. He comes out, mind you he's a fairly decent guy, totally understood what was going on. He takes me inside and sits me down in the back office with the other manager. Both were attempting to calm me down, I wasn't panicking on the outside but on the inside I was screaming for this trip to end.
As I'm sitting in the office with the second manager he asks the bartender to bring me a glass of water. She brings it, I could barely sip it. It felt so weird drinking water. My manager consoles me and tells me I can have someone pick me up and take me home. I instantly realize my family was out of town except for my step-dad who I just met 2 weeks before and my little brother. The last thing I wanted was for either of them to see me like this. So I told my manager I'll wait it out, and catch a ride with another dancer at 6 a.m. He let's me stay in the office with him until closing time. I remember feeling so COLD which is weird because my first time with ecstasy I was constantly hot. I beg my manager for a jacket, which he finds me one. He then proceeds to tell me about his first time on ecstasy, which I barely could comprehend what he was saying. My eyes constantly went out of focus, I kept shivering from being so cold even though I was wrapped in a jacket with constant sweat dripping down my neck. Every time someone went in the office I was paranoid they were mad at me for taking up the managers time, which in reality they weren't of course.
So I sat there for a good 4 1/2 maybe 5 hours in my own private hell. I only spoke in half mumbled sentences that were only halfway understandable. Then I remember everything just went back to normal in a blink of an eye. The dark cloud that weighed my mind just vanished and I was back in reality. My manager looked at my face and said "Yep you're back, your eyes are cleared up". My first instinct was to rip the jacket off because I was burning up, I was so hot. I apologized to both my managers, and they automatically assumed I was slipped ecstasy in a drink by a customer. I had maintained a "good girl" image at that club, so they never would've imagined little old me doing drugs and that explains why they were both so understanding. Of course I didn't tell them the truth, I didn't want to get my good friend in trouble, which they never found out about her being high that night. I didn't get fired thank god, but the next afternoon when I woke up I had a hangover times 10, I was MAJORLY dehydrated, and I was depressed for a couple days. I even contemplated suicide.
so my questions are
1) why was my second trip so different other than the fact I combined shrooms the first time?
2)what could have caused me to have a bad trip when the night began so perfectly and calm?
3)how come my comedown was so intense?
4) will I ever be able to do ecstasy again without the fear of having a repeated bad trip?
5)Sometimes I feel my skin crawl/tingle just like it did that night, could this be possible even after its been 4 months since then??
and I know this question is random but
6) why is it that my stomach looked perfectly flat the morning after? (it happened both times)
So when I first experimented, I was with friends having a great time in a safe place. We combined shrooms with our pills and I had about an 2/8th of shrooms and about 3 hits of ecstasy, spread out through the night. I remember having an amazing spiritual fulfilling epiphany on life, love and happiness. I was around 15 at the time. The comedown was rough but wasn't horrible. Just woke up super thirsty and was tired for a whole day. Other than that it was a GREAT experience.
Fast-forward 4 years and I now live in a new state, dancing at a strip club. My life was decent, no stress, no issues. It began as a normal Friday night at work. The club was getting full, I was making great money within an hour of coming into work. My schedule that night was 9 p.m till 6 a.m so I had a long night ahead of me. A good friend of mine who was also a dancer hooked me up with a hit of ecstasy, just one as I knew I haven't done it in years, and I just wanted to relax and have a great fun time a work. I took my pill at around 11 p.m as did she.
I remember not being able to sit still, I constantly had to get up and walk around randomly. My mind was still in a decent state, but my body was wired. I sat down with one of my regulars and he asked for a private dance but I had to decline for the simple fact I was super paranoid. Next thing I know I'm walking towards the bathroom so that I could avoid everyone, I was half way there when the "explosion" hit. My body got real tingly, everything around me started to look unreal, more fake, I felt where my clothes touched my body and it felt awkward, unnatural. Now to remind you guys I work at a strip club so there's constant loud music, the music seemed to have gotten twice as loud. I make it to the bathroom which has mirrors everywhere, I looked at myself and in my mind I was freaking the hell out. I couldn't stand to look at myself for some reason? I leave the bathroom and head outside where I knew my good friend who hooked me up was at. She was smoking a blunt with another dancer that I was fairly cool with. They knew something was wrong. One of them handed me the blunt and said it would calm me down. It made it much worse. I touched my legs and remember it feeling like a silk cloth, my hands and my face felt wet even though they weren't. I told one of the girls to get the manager. He comes out, mind you he's a fairly decent guy, totally understood what was going on. He takes me inside and sits me down in the back office with the other manager. Both were attempting to calm me down, I wasn't panicking on the outside but on the inside I was screaming for this trip to end.
As I'm sitting in the office with the second manager he asks the bartender to bring me a glass of water. She brings it, I could barely sip it. It felt so weird drinking water. My manager consoles me and tells me I can have someone pick me up and take me home. I instantly realize my family was out of town except for my step-dad who I just met 2 weeks before and my little brother. The last thing I wanted was for either of them to see me like this. So I told my manager I'll wait it out, and catch a ride with another dancer at 6 a.m. He let's me stay in the office with him until closing time. I remember feeling so COLD which is weird because my first time with ecstasy I was constantly hot. I beg my manager for a jacket, which he finds me one. He then proceeds to tell me about his first time on ecstasy, which I barely could comprehend what he was saying. My eyes constantly went out of focus, I kept shivering from being so cold even though I was wrapped in a jacket with constant sweat dripping down my neck. Every time someone went in the office I was paranoid they were mad at me for taking up the managers time, which in reality they weren't of course.
So I sat there for a good 4 1/2 maybe 5 hours in my own private hell. I only spoke in half mumbled sentences that were only halfway understandable. Then I remember everything just went back to normal in a blink of an eye. The dark cloud that weighed my mind just vanished and I was back in reality. My manager looked at my face and said "Yep you're back, your eyes are cleared up". My first instinct was to rip the jacket off because I was burning up, I was so hot. I apologized to both my managers, and they automatically assumed I was slipped ecstasy in a drink by a customer. I had maintained a "good girl" image at that club, so they never would've imagined little old me doing drugs and that explains why they were both so understanding. Of course I didn't tell them the truth, I didn't want to get my good friend in trouble, which they never found out about her being high that night. I didn't get fired thank god, but the next afternoon when I woke up I had a hangover times 10, I was MAJORLY dehydrated, and I was depressed for a couple days. I even contemplated suicide.
so my questions are
1) why was my second trip so different other than the fact I combined shrooms the first time?
2)what could have caused me to have a bad trip when the night began so perfectly and calm?
3)how come my comedown was so intense?
4) will I ever be able to do ecstasy again without the fear of having a repeated bad trip?
5)Sometimes I feel my skin crawl/tingle just like it did that night, could this be possible even after its been 4 months since then??
and I know this question is random but
6) why is it that my stomach looked perfectly flat the morning after? (it happened both times)
