• 💊 OTHER DRUGS 💊 Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads 1 Notable Threads 2
    Dangerous Combos Addiction Support
    Emergency Services Benzo Guide v.1
    Addiction Stories Scary Case Studies
    Biology, Pharmacology & Drugs 101
  • Select Your Topic Then Scroll Down
    Alcohol Bupe Benzos
    Cocaine Heroin Opioids
    RCs Stimulants Misc
    Harm Reduction All Topics Gabapentinoids
    Tired of your habit? Struggling to cope?
    Want to regain control or get sober?
    Visit our Recovery Support Forums

Honestly...I want to know how you feel about your addictions.

well if u was asking if i was serious i have 40 or so percocet and 20 oxycontins, which im either, a. saving until i can get high on 5mg or b. kick opiates all together, its driving me crazying cant sleep cant hold still arrrgh. but i am on pain medicines to help my pain go away. <--- non-narcotic (celebrex nsaid) (ultram prescribed dose) and nuerontin - junk, and i forgot skelaxin <-- junk too.
i did act test prep all day so i did wat i enjoy, math and science, english teacher cancelled (my worse subject)
 
umm i took a marinol 2.5 before mcdonalds so i could eat, umm completly sober unless you call "the fucking weird drunk that neurontin gives you non- sober then i guess i would say i wasnt sober, other than that im not even taking benadryl to sleep any more
BT fuckingW im prescribed marinol, as with all that other shit and im not taking it to get high, my old drug buddy came over and i havnt seen him in forever, he tried to get me to relapse but i didn't.
 
Last edited:
How I Feel About My Addictions

I have been addicted to different substances throughout my teens up to adulthood, the worst being benzos but now it's amphetamines. I built up a tolerance to Adderall and now I'm up to 80 - 100 mg a day. I snort some oof the powder directly and I mix the rest with water and squeeze it up my nose with an eye allergy bottle. I tried plugging but didn't get the big deal on that. I didn't feel that much. I've also had binges with opiates (Vicodin, Percocet, Co3but my personal favorite was a cough syrup my ENT gave me for bronchitis. It's called Tussionex and it is the best shit! It's the top of the line in narcotic cough syrups (as far as I know) but the problem is I couldn't get it enough but if I could I'd be drinking a damn bottle a day! I painted a whole room on this shit and the bathroom. Still had energy to burn. The comedown sucks a bit, though.

But right now the problem is Adderall. Don't get enough of it prescribed to me and the tolerance is building and building. I hate being dependent on something I can't get enough of and may be dangerous in the amounts that would work for me.

Somehow I am always abusing something. ::!
 
I'm addicted to getting some sort of buzz, except since saturday when I overdosed and was hospitalized. In 5 days I only popped half an E and had a couple beers, which is amazingly low for me.

Usually I need some kind of buzz or a get bitchy
most commonly am on oxycontin, alcohol, opium or codeine and some kind of stimulant usually once a week like E, pure mdma cocaine or speed.
 
LOL. I like how you phrased that-
Usually I need some kind of buzz or a get bitchy
most commonly am on oxycontin, alcohol, opium or codeine and some kind of stimulant usually once a week like E, pure mdma cocaine or speed.
Click to expand...

You forgot a 10strip and a liq of k.
 
casperLOL said:
Tsukasa... what's up with school?
Click to expand...

It's inteferering with things i actually like to do. Like my spiritual practices. In the summer when i had no stress I would immerse myself in hours of yoga and meditation. I did not use any drug at all during that time period.

Now... im too worried about doing good or atleast passing my classes so my mom (t3h d3v1l) doesn't bitch at me (which is a horrible thing to endure for me).
 
My parents said three disturbing things to me tonight

1. You seem agitated, are you OK?
2. You're all sweaty.
3. You seem happy. (I'm not)


WTF! Leave me alone Fucking goodnight I have class in the morning.
 
Addylover said:
I have been addicted to different substances throughout my teens up to adulthood, the worst being benzos but now it's amphetamines. I built up a tolerance to Adderall and now I'm up to 80 - 100 mg a day. I snort some oof the powder directly and I mix the rest with water and squeeze it up my nose with an eye allergy bottle. I tried plugging but didn't get the big deal on that. I didn't feel that much. I've also had binges with opiates (Vicodin, Percocet, Co3but my personal favorite was a cough syrup my ENT gave me for bronchitis. It's called Tussionex and it is the best shit! It's the top of the line in narcotic cough syrups (as far as I know) but the problem is I couldn't get it enough but if I could I'd be drinking a damn bottle a day! I painted a whole room on this shit and the bathroom. Still had energy to burn. The comedown sucks a bit, though.

But right now the problem is Adderall. Don't get enough of it prescribed to me and the tolerance is building and building. I hate being dependent on something I can't get enough of and may be dangerous in the amounts that would work for me.

Somehow I am always abusing something. ::!
Click to expand...
I generally am always on something as well. I have the bad habit of kicking opiates, doing fairly well for a week, and then binge drinking every single night until I cannot function and then going back on heroin/whatever I can get.
 
I'm not happy about being addicted to H. I feel like I'm close to getting a handle on it, I take suboxone during the week and have outpatient rehab to keep me in line during the week, then I let loose and do H fri, sat, and sunday.

I know thats not good but its better than 7 days a week like most of the past 2years. I look forward to getting fucked up all week and when I'm on dope I feel good about life, when I'm sober I feel super depressed to the point of thinking about suicide, not just thinking but intensely visualizing it with 1-2 very effective methods, ie drink a gallon of antifreeze, shoot 10 bags of H after
eating 10mg of klonopin or xanax and drinking a lot of alcohol, jumping in front of a train etc.

In a way I see my weekend heroin use as keeping me from killing myself, something to look forward to. I'm planning on having a final blowout and getting jacked with all my good using friends one last time, then quitting with the suboxone. The physical wd is no biggie for me, I beat it weekly LOL.

I plan on quitting the H then and taking the suboxone everyday and starting this script of prozac a doctor gave me. I've had it for about 2 weeks but I've put off taking it cause I don't want it to interfere with my H use and I want to get the full possible effect from the prozac.

I think I'll need a benzo to go with it but I need to see a regular psychiatrist in order to get a script for a benzo to go with the antidepressant. If I can't get a script for benzos I'm considering just buying them online, I don't know if a psychiatrist would help me with the talking mental aspects of therapy if they knew I was getting my meds off an online pharmacy but fuck it, when I take 2-3 mg of klonopin alone without an antidepressant or H I feel PERFECT, I lose my social anxiety, I feel happy and positive, I don't second guess every comment I make until the damn conversation has moved past that subject.. I feel like I really need a benzo, I know people say benzo addiction is hell and worse than H withdrawl, but what if I never get over intense suicidal feeling and absolute shitty depression, isn't it the lessor evil to just go on benzos forver? Is that even an option? I know people plateau on them and need ever incresing doses and need to occasionaly switch up benzos cause they eventually lose effect but..

So thats how I feel about my addiction.. I'm treating a mental problem with street drugs.. if H was legal I might just keep using it but I don't know if that would really be the healthiest thing, even tho I feel so perfect on it, I talk to random strangers, feel content and at peace etc. Sometimes I wonder if most people have that feeling, like I feel on a low dose of H.

thanks to anyone who reads this and gives me some insight or can relate..
 
o btw, im gunna say now, that, i only been abusing my pain meds for a short time, less than a month probably no more than 2 weeks, and when i was tapered off them i had 0 withdrawls, mayb a little restless leg but thats it tops.
 
Dryseeker said:
I was a major weed smoker in my younger days which I lost my love for in my 30's. Suffered a major injury which resulted in a failed surgery; became a chronic pain patient. I immediately fell in love with Oxycodone, I have a legitimate need for it however I confess I love the way it makes me feel. The only problem I have with it is of course trying to control my intake and tolerance which is a fact of life for a chronic opiate user.

As long as I have OC Im a productive person, have a great job and am a good husband to my wife. When I run out early Im absolutely worthless, I cant function at all, its a struggle to get out of bed. In all honesty the future scares the hell out of me; I have been on opiates now for 4 years and often wonder if I could ever kick out without being fucking miserable for years to follow. My ever increasing tolerance also scares me, it's SO hard to even attempt to taper.

I guess to summarize I am without question hard core addicted, it would be a monumental task for me to kick it. I honestly think the worst thing about OC is running out early............................Peace
Click to expand...
Agreed.:)
 
xxanxxtwo said:
^^My wife always took the backseat to dope....... :(
Click to expand...

Same as my EX Girlfriend AKA ' The Love Of My Life' She is currently not talking to me (we havent talked in 2 years) and she is seeing another man. :( Oh well, She put me through ALOT OF HURT (TOO MUCH) and I think that in the end iam better off without her in my life,I keep trying to get in touch with her because I have RECURRING DREAMS ABOUT HER THAT HAVE ME WAKING UP INH FULL BLOWN PANIC ATTACKS WHEN I WAKE UP AND IT IS NOT REALITY, I IMMEDIATLKY Pop 1mg of klonopin 3 mgs of xanax and I open up a beer. I sit there and am SOOOOOO Sad when those drems hit me.
 
My addiction is my disease. It's only been 2 weeks and I miss the mental state of mind I had. I hope after time I will stop feeling the way I do.
 
center said:
I could never fuck on opiates wtf.
Click to expand...

For me it's always been the problem of not being able to FINISH fucking. =D


Thankfully I don't have any "crushing" addictions, but I'm not without a few monkeys on my back...

I'm an occasional dope and coke user, and a former full blown cocaine addict, in every sense of the word. I'd let it control my life to the point where I didn't have one; I decided it was enough when I was jobless, friendless, homeless, and with a gun to my face. Got over that though, and now only use a few times a year.

Smoke weed moderately, I'm not a daily user but definitely more than occasional. My problem with it is when I have alot I continually smoke, and just feel like shit when I'm out.

My main vices now are alcoholism and dxm addiction. I drink 6 or 7 days a week, often times to the point of passing out or blacking out. DXM slightly less often, and I know I'm doing damage but I just don't feel like stopping. I keep it in check though (probably talking out my ass here but oh well) I actually have 2 bottles right here in front of me, but I'm holding off for now. Might be consuming some pod tea today and I don't wanna mix the 2, but that's the ONLY reason they're not empty right now.

It's kind of like a scale, you have your pro's on one side and your con's on the other, and obviously if I'm still using the pro's outweigh the con's... so I guess I'm ok with my addictions?

I don't know how I feel about it.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top