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Hi, I'm Knickermallow. Just my intro here.

Knickermallow

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 27, 2018
Messages
8
Hello to all here, and good tidings to you guys. I am going by the username "Knickermallow" - sounds a little silly but there 'is' a heartfelt meaning behind the name ^^

I am a 48 year old girl from the American Midwest, and unfortunately suffer from severe lower left lumbar injuries. Chronic pain has been a big part of my life, following me around now for about 3 & 1/2 years, give or take, and has so negatively affected my life.

That's what brought me here, to find not only medication information but maybe support or just to read from people who understand chronic pain. I've found that most people around me just don't get it. They haven't experienced it so "chronic" & "pain," for them, is just two words put together. I try to understand.

I also deal with mental issues which of course do not mix well with chronic physical pain. Regarding the physical pain, I just, I never knew how something can hurt my body, and never, not ever, truly stop. Except it has only a few times. It's heartbreaking.

I do not mean to sound so negative but I also wish to be truthful, so that if something ever goes well, it will be the iron-clad truth. Thus, I'll say that right now, in life, I just feel I've lost myself. I've gained 100 pounds and was already overweight before 3 series of steroid injection procedures caused me to swell up from (220 pounds) to (322 when I weighed this morning). I so miss me, and don't have a clue of how to get her back. 220 was a nice cute weight for me and I could walk and stand in long lines, ...well, before the injuries that is. I was a bouncy firm and always told I look like a cartoon ^^ {oh those sure we're the days}

It has now become my goal to walk into a big store with a lengthy list, push a cart instead of ride in one, and stand in a long line while waiting to pay for my basket-full of items. Sounds silly huh? ...but I miss that. Of course I didn't know that I missed it until the ability was pulled out from under me, almost literally. But, I miss it. Such a basic of life, but so precious an opportunity it was.

But that's enough of my babbling. I'm glad to be here and I thank the admins for including me. I forgot to see if I could add what medications I take and my illnesses in more detail (my bad) so I will study more about what I can include and may come back and edit some time.


Just a few lighter tidbits on me: I'm an actress and a songwriter; I also dabble heavily (if there's such a thing ^^) in poetry and prose. I sing and am working on my first album (not to try and submit commercially, just for personal reasons) and I am two semesters away from a Master's degree In TESOL. I already have a Bachelor's in General Studies. My favorite color is yellow when I'm happy and feel free, but turns tk stone cold grey when I'm feeling downtrodden.

My favorite musical artists are Tori Amos and Debbie Gibson. My own original music and songs are sort of a mix between the two and it has always been that way, wayyy back in the 80's even before I ever heard either of them on the radio, so it was pretty neat to hear and say, "Hey cool! I am a.mixture if their polar oppossite styles!"

Well I guess that's enough for now. I hope that I can both help and get some good learning done on this website. I'm sure glad to be a part of it.

Thanks for reading this. I'm sorry it got so lengthy, and may God bless all of you, always^^

With Warm Regards,
~ Knickermallow.
 
Hi, Knickermallow.
It is great to welcome you to bluelight. We have many that understand both "chronic" and "pain" here and linking the two is a common theme so looks like we may have some give and take in that area as well as many others. Glad to have ya and hope you find the environs comfy. :)
If it's not too much to ask: Are there any particular drugs that you like and can't seem to get enough of? Just curious as when I was on poly-meds (Rx-ed) it was the benzodiazepines that really grabbed my attention and held it for decades while everything else was put on hold... what a freakin waste.
But, I miss it.
Yeah. I used to hate the darker aspect of loss which manifests as insomnia, malnutrition and grief. However, after so much of this darkness, it would seem that my "eyes" got adjusted to the dimness and what light I could see became bright and illuminated a different path that may be what the doctor ordered. Just saying; without loss we would not recognize what we do have, ya know?
And then the optional realization that it all may be just a big scene in someones play and none of it really matters anyway. We have nothing and should be as nature.
What the fuq do we do now? :eek:

:p:D:ROFLMAO:

I love you and hope to see ya around a while.
Please be safe and feel at ease here? Lot's of good stuff and people so exscuse not ot hang out once in a while, yes?
Peace
 
But in al seriousness you definitely at the right place for most of the questions you asked in explaining yourself at the same time , respect. But yes this sight is Vast and big and will be very fruitful for someone like you..

Welcome To Blueworld
 
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