Xorkoth said:
HA!
Hey Church, how's it going? You might notice I have tried to clean this place up some since you last dropped in and so tactfully insulted the state of the forum.
Doh! Sorry. Didn't mean to
insult anyone or anything. I just meant to point out that I was admittedly a nazi mod, and since I left things are a little more loosey-goosey. I just really like saying "loosey goosey."
I think we all miss the "thread-closingest" mod there ever was. But I hope you're doing well away from this place, which can certainly be a huge aid to procrastination. And how have your insights from that 4-AcO-DMT trip been working out?
Quite well, actually. I just finished telling some people in a few PMs, which I should have just copied and pasted in here, but instead I'll paraphrase:
It's actually been really great, for a change, to not be even thinking about "journeying." My number one reason for stopping was that it was shown to me that every time I tripped I was just escaping [for lack of a better word] my responsibilities toward achieving my goals. Every time I would trip, I would think about how I could be out networking, finding new clients, finding new studio owners to give my resume to, etc. I never seemed to be having enlightening experiences anymore... they were all about just partying and feeling good. There's nothing wrong with that, at all. But for me, as a self-imposed rule, drugs are not to be used for that purpose. At least, not more than every once in a while. When that "spirit" appeared to me in my mind's eye, on that 4-aco-dmt trip, I was basically shown how if I stop using psychedelics as a distraction, my career will take off like a rocket, because I already have the skills and the mindset that I was shooting for when I began incorporating psychedelics into my Who-I-Am. It was like watching the same reruns of my favorite TV show, over and over again, and I want to stop watching it while I still have an appreciation for it.
I gave away all my acid, as a symbolic act, but I definitely expect to be taking acid until the day I die. Just not nearly as often as I have. Don't ask me to quantify that statement, please. I have no desire to put my finger on an exact number of how many times per year I will take acid. It could be as often as 5 times per year, or as seldom as 5 more times in my life. I don't know.
I might write a book, someday, too, about the power of simply being aware of being aware. For what it's worth, after all my trips, that is one of the ultimate lessons I've learned... that awareness and intent are what are continually creating and re-creating this universe.
Anyway, I still love this place. You people are my people. And you always will be. This includes the people who hate me, or the people I've pissed off. I mean well, I promise.
Take care, everyone.
- Church