Hey there, I'm not new - just FINALLY signed up mostly bc my doc is retiring& need advice

[SeaDoo42]

Hi all- I've used this site for info for decades -and finally signed up!

My primary care family doctor that I've have had my whole adult life and knows me better than most of my friends, is retiring/retired.. so I started with a new doc a few days ago from the same office.. my long time doc thought she'd be a good fit, and she seems approachable and easy to talk to, BUT seems like she's got some drastically different ideas than him, which I already kind of saw coming bc my doc warned me that "most of these new young-buck doctors don't like prescribing your meds".

I couldn't find much about my situation by searching, so figured it's time to join the club here and actually be a part the convo instead of just picking info from everyone else's posts lol..

About me:
Been prescribed kpin for anxiety for about 20yrs.. taken religiously, (3mg/ day) and they work wonders & honestly can't imagine life without em now.

About 5 years ago I broke BOTH femurs when a boat hit me on my SeaDoo and pushed the handlebars through my legs and I'm just grateful to have landed inside the boat (on a bigger guy for cushion-and still be alive vs chopped up under and becoming fish-food). For now! I just say that bc I'm getting the feeling my new doc isn't on the same page as me and my old doc were

More history:
before that accident I used to nibble on a stash of norco 10s for the recreational 'glow up' but typically not for more than 2-3 days at a time, bc WDs suck, and stopped that altogether the summer of the accident, so that didn't last long.. Smoke weed my whole life except for the 1 or 2x a year I have to clear out for a month for the pee-test for a med-matching contract with my state and doc.

Anyways, after the accident I was feeling better than great, except the whole learning how to walk again part, but was determined and killin it in PT tbh I was on 90mg/day morph ER, and 40mg/day roxy IR (w/ tons of Tylenol& Ibuprofen).

Since then- tapered completely off the extend release morphs.. and the last few years I've only been on 25mg/day oxy IR and never tapered more bc of a rib/shoulder injury (as well as the same 1mg 3x/day klonapin for anxiety as always).

Now it seems like I'm about to have a huge struggle with the new doc and need help navigating her ideas, seems like she wants to change EVERYTHING up..

She DID keep my meds the same for the next 3mo, BUT her idea is to park me on bupe (Butrans/belbuca/subutex for pain and cymbalta for pain/anxiety) instead of the tried and true.. Also mentioned ketamine infusion if I can afford it

Also now my chart says "OUD" and before it was just "chemically-dependant non-complicated" - Does that mean I'm on a drug-seeker black list now or why would they change that??

I'll probably post more in the appropriate forums, but not sure which category my situation falls under maybe a MOD could move this to the right place if this is too much going on for the Intro post lol...

(TLDR: my doc retired after me being 20yrs chemically dependant on benzos -and 5yrs chem-dependant on opiates, and I need some help navigating the new doctor's ideas)

 

[M!$TER-ED]

hi @SeaDoo42 you're in the right place, this is new member introductions. reading your post try to be objective about the changes that are occurring because of a new PC managing your case. I don't know what OUD means or stands for, perhaps someone on this forum can enlighten us. It doesn't sound as if you have many choices regarding healthcare and you may be stuck with what you have. Try talking to your new PC and explain your concerns about changing medication. An honest approach about your concerns is your best option.
If you try to obtain drugs without justifiable reason you will be tagged as an addict drug seeker/user. Tread lightly and be honest about your health needs, as a doctor your PC is there to help you. Discuss with her a treatment plan that you both agree on. It is better to know what to expect from her than being surprised by her actions. This way you can be somewhat prepared to argue your case.

 

[Jnowhere]

Hi all- I've used this site for info for decades -and finally signed up!

My primary care family doctor that I've have had my whole adult life and knows me better than most of my friends, is retiring/retired.. so I started with a new doc a few days ago from the same office.. my long time doc thought she'd be a good fit, and she seems approachable and easy to talk to, BUT seems like she's got some drastically different ideas than him, which I already kind of saw coming bc my doc warned me that "most of these new young-buck doctors don't like prescribing your meds".

I couldn't find much about my situation by searching, so figured it's time to join the club here and actually be a part the convo instead of just picking info from everyone else's posts lol..

About me:
Been prescribed kpin for anxiety for about 20yrs.. taken religiously, (3mg/ day) and they work wonders & honestly can't imagine life without em now.

About 5 years ago I broke BOTH femurs when a boat hit me on my SeaDoo and pushed the handlebars through my legs and I'm just grateful to have landed inside the boat (on a bigger guy for cushion-and still be alive vs chopped up under and becoming fish-food). For now! I just say that bc I'm getting the feeling my new doc isn't on the same page as me and my old doc were

More history:
before that accident I used to nibble on a stash of norco 10s for the recreational 'glow up' but typically not for more than 2-3 days at a time, bc WDs suck, and stopped that altogether the summer of the accident, so that didn't last long.. Smoke weed my whole life except for the 1 or 2x a year I have to clear out for a month for the pee-test for a med-matching contract with my state and doc.

Anyways, after the accident I was feeling better than great, except the whole learning how to walk again part, but was determined and killin it in PT tbh I was on 90mg/day morph ER, and 40mg/day roxy IR (w/ tons of Tylenol& Ibuprofen).

Since then- tapered completely off the extend release morphs.. and the last few years I've only been on 25mg/day oxy IR and never tapered more bc of a rib/shoulder injury (as well as the same 1mg 3x/day klonapin for anxiety as always).

Now it seems like I'm about to have a huge struggle with the new doc and need help navigating her ideas, seems like she wants to change EVERYTHING up..

She DID keep my meds the same for the next 3mo, BUT her idea is to park me on bupe (Butrans/belbuca/subutex for pain and cymbalta for pain/anxiety) instead of

the tried and true.. Also mentioned ketamine infusion if I can afford it

Also now my chart says "OUD" and before it was just "chemically-dependant non-complicated" - Does that mean I'm on a drug-seeker black list now or why would they change that??

I'll probably post more in the appropriate forums, but not sure which category my situation falls under maybe a MOD could move this to the right place if this is too much going on for the Intro post lol...

(TLDR: my doc retired after me being 20yrs chemically dependant on benzos -and 5yrs chem-dependant on opiates, and I need some help navigating the new doctor's ideas)

I understand your problem. I would say you are going to have problems if you are in America and certain( most if not all) states. It seems as if you are American, like me.

THIS YOUNG IGNORANT FEMALE DOCTOR HAS BASICALLY LABELED YOU A DRUG ADDICT. SHE HAS FUCKED YOU OVER.
AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY!!

I have been on a very, very similar meds.
( absolutely no acetaminophen in my oxycodone and I gave up my morphine script on my own. Not pressured by my doctor. He was shocked. I also switched to a weaker benzo).

No Bupe, everyone on it hates it. Is this quack mentallychallenged or just evil?

TELL HER HELL NO! That clueless quack will have you hooked on a med that will probably not help the pain and make you addicted, severely to a drug that may destroy your teeth.

Then the cymbalta. Look it up and then read about benzo withdrawals. She is clueless.

SHE IS TRYING TO PUSH WORSE DRUGS ON YOU.

Getting off that is worse than Heroin, I have been told. BUPE. Horrible long term wd's and it is a OUD. Basically she thinks your a drug addict and wants too put you on something that most likely will not help the pain, destroy your teeth and be almost impossible to get off, of.

Ask around that stuff is horrible it is BS.

That drug may be an opiod but it is mainly for: Opiod Use Disorder. Yep she is treating you like a drug addict. If she mentions other shit, methadone( apparently absolutely a nightmare to get off, of. Liquid Handcuffs).

Getting off it is apparently one of the hardest drugs to get off, of.

NO, DON'T LET HER MESS WITH YOUR MEDS.

Forget pain relief, you might lose your teeth and not get any relief.

Ask her, have you ever tried it and used it!

She wants you hooked on Bupe( I don't use it but the drug is for addicts.)

The cymbalta: That is bullshit. It is for a few things but you can't switch from a benzo( k-pins) That is BS.

YES THIS QUACKETTE IS TREATING YOU LIKE AN ADDICT.

In her eyes you are an addict and I would find a better doctor, who understands what benzo withdrawals can do.

YOU ARE FUCKED WITH THIS NEW DOCTOR. YOU HAVE BEEN LABELED BY THIS .....PERSON A DRUG SEEKING DRUG ADDICT.

THE MEDS ARE HORRIBLE AND YOU WILL SUFFER BECAUSE OF HER.

THE MEDS SHE WANTS TO GIVE YOU, DO NOT ACCEPT THEM.

READ ABOUT THEM AND ASK AROUND HERE.

There are people who know much better than me, but you cannot let HER pull this shit on you.

The maximum recommended dose in 24 hours accorging to A.I. is 400mg of oxycodone. I read 380mg in 24 hours once.

You are basically like me, on a low dose over a long period of time. I can't have, OTC pain meds because of my liver.

TELL HER NO I AM NOT SWITCHING. I WOULD TELL HER NO. I AM ON THE MEDS THAT WORK.

I AM NOT AN ADDICT 25MG'S IS LITTLE AND THE K-PINS WORK.

THIS QUACK, HAS NO IDEA ABOUT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PHYSICAL DEPENDENCE AND ADDICTION.

20 YEAR AND 1MGx 3 times a day. That is not an addict.

Niether is your opiod use, like that of an addict.

You piss in the cup and signed the contract. Tell her no. I am staying on what works.

If she gives you problems, bring up the chart and then threaten legal action and sue her personally and the practice.

That is if you can't find a decent doctor.

That long, that little. Not an addict. But you are now labeled one by her.

Sorry, just but that is what has happened.

If she, presses tell her I have been on it a long time and use less. It helps. No, I am not changing.

Feel free to DM me.

 

[kiely]

Take Care @SeaDoo42. Thank you for Sharing. We try so hard to be Caring !!

 

[Keif' Richards]

Hey @SeaDoo42 first of all, welcome to the family. We are more of an Addams/Manson-esque family than say, the one your were born into. Rest assured, unlike the Manson family, we don´t express love through violence, just the normal compassionate kind of way

I´ve been on here for some time now. At 35, I´m practically a fucking dinosaur around these parts. I got to live the Oxycontin epidemic, then the Heroin epidemic, then quit Heroin just in time to see my peers start dropping like flies over Fentanyl et al. I´ve seen some trends over the years.

One of the saddest trends of all, and this is in a history of extremely sad trends, has been the influx of old(er)-aged folks with little to no previous history of recreational drug usage. In short, we are seeing an influx of older folks who were given these medications with practically no warning for the potential strings attached to their usage, only to have them callously taken away.

It´s one thing when you´ve lived as a junkie before and the concept of fear, hustling and survival are all ingrained into you. When you´ve been by comparison, fed by hand for so many years, it´s a pretty shocking, terrible realization that you´ve now been reduced to that same kind of feeling by your doctor.

I´ve seen multiple grannies in line at the Methadone clinic. These are ladies with no true history of addiction outside of the need for pain relief. They have not only been made to feel the fear of God, they have (at least in their eyes I´m sure) their dignity then stripped from them as they are forced to associate not with ¨bad¨ people, but let´s face it, people you probably wouldn´t picture your grams hanging out with. It´s not at all fair.

We´ve all basically been turned out by the triple-tag-team champions of corruption, the Pharmaceutical Industry, Unscrupulous Doctors and our own Federal Government. It´s not rumor or conjecture, Purdue and others paid the FDA for a lesser categorization of their drug and to describe it as ¨non-addictive¨. Yes, we all have choices in life. The blame is not entirely on these corrupt actors, but they deserve to carry the majority of the burden.

 

[Deleted member 578389]

it may be unlikely you will find a dr who will prescribe you benzos now beyond doing a gradual taper off.

if left with nothing try to raise gaba thru supplements

l-theanine
magensium glycinate
taurine
lithium orotate
ashwagandha

each on their own does little, but combine all 5 and you can get close to the relaxation of a benzo.

 

[SeaDoo42]

Thanks for all the responses, sorry for the late reply, I need to figure out the notification settings on here..lol. and @Jnowhere I'll DM you, I completely agree with you after looking into it even more, just didn't know how to go about the situation or what to tell the doctor. Thank you, I'm glad someone understands and now that I think we know what just happened, I know how to go about it a lil bit better Also thanks @l41n for the natural supplement advice! I'll have to try those, good to know there's other natural stuff that could help with the anxiety!

(Edited because I hit the send button in the middle of typing a sentence, oops lol).

Hopefully there's a way to get her diagnosis off of my chart before it's too late. It looks like she may have been a drug-rehab doctor before when I googled her name, so it's pretty clear you're 101% correct @Jnowhere , that's exactly what I was thinking when I read the after visit notes. I'll try to DM you sometime this week

 

[SeaDoo42]

So it's been a few months. I'm back. Preparing for the worst & hoping for the best on this next visit with Miss New Dr. Quackette in a few weeks. And I got a lil plan: well I'm apparently still thinking it up, out-loud, in real time

So 4 months back when I still had my lifelong "good" doctor he always said "less is best" and "keep it boring" when talking about anxiety/ klonapin. For a decade I thought it was the dumbest sounding thing ever, when I'm all in the mindset of "I just wanna take my medicine and live regular like all the normal people without crippling anxiety" .. Anyways over the summer I started breaking my morning kpin in half on boring days if I woke up with less existential dread.

And I accumulated maybe 20x 1mg 'leftovers' on a lil gradual taper or whatever.

I'm still healing up from my injuries, now that it's warmer, stuff hurts less. I decided to try the "less is best" theory with the roxicodone to see if it worked like klonopin. So I started a weird taper to stop taking the medicine almost completely. At work I usually need[ed] the full 20-30mg/day to function, and I'd basically try n maintain baseline all weekend splitting pills in "half" with a POS splitter thing from a drug store, basically keeping myself RIGHT below unbearable pain and right above sweaty sneezy WD symptoms. I'm assuming that's the feeling the term strung out came from. But it worked a bit, taking less of em eventually seemed to make the ones I do take feel a little more effective.. Like sometimes I could feel okay on half a 5mg (+NSAID+Tylenol) to get me out the bed.. and then sometimes I need 15mg my first 10 minutes at work or even on the ride there, depending on what I'm doin n how things feel.

So now I kinda wanted to test myself to see how bad it would be to stop taking to make sure that I wasn't gonna crave the medicine hard enough to possibly want that bupe stuff. I'm surprised, I'm honestly not craving..but I haven't really left my couch much in a week either lmao, so there's that.. So just to test myself on her OUD diagnosis.. I took a full week off work and stopped taking the roxys altogether Tuesday, so it's been like 4-5 maybe 6 days now, is blurring together and I'm like a zombie insomniac here trying to type this without my phone screen making me sneeze lol..

(Tbh it sux but isn't nearly as bad as when I asked my good doctor to taper me off the 30mg ER morphs a few summers ago.. Those things are evil, minimal pain relief more than an Advil but felt like corrosion n death 2 weeks a month, all summer while my body acclimated to the new doses).

Anyways, I've done hella research on here on tapering n WDs and all that for the roxys.. Put those 20 leftover klonapins to work as part of the comfort meds, found half a bottle of gabapentin in my nightstand left over from when I got out the hospital, don't see any reason not to take that for a few days if it helps . Between that and some herbal stuff it isn't tooooo terrible except I feel like I'm going half-manic from 1 hour of sleep here n there and thinking out loud on this forum like a crazy person I've been taking NSAIDs for the pain and figured out Tylenol helps some with the hot-cold-hot-cold crap too (so unfortunate you can't take it @Jnowhere but if need be there's a medicine called clonidine that regulates ur body temp in case ya ever have to go through this nonsense)
So I made my couch into a pillow fort with heat pads on both legs and one on the back and the pain is *bearable* until I have to get off the couch bee-lining it to the restroom

Now IDK what to do. I'm almost all detox'd from the roxys (never thought I'd need to hear myself say that), but I still feel like crap. I'm honestly kinda proud of myself and prepared for if the quackette wants to cut me off, but now what?

How do I handle Dr Quackette? My good doctor was planning on just tapering 10% a month like the CDC guidelines said to do.

What're my options?!?

I CAN reject her pushing buprenorphine at me since I know it's not for me, correct?

I prolly can't just tell her "screw you gimme the medicine that works that my old doc had under control"?

Maybe just ask her to taper it down to match the pain like the GOOD doctor was doing?? Maybe ask her to taper more than 10% a month..??

IDK what my rights are here especially when she labeled me an OUD addict, like CAN they even take that OFF my chart?... She needs to IMHO

BUT HONESTLY WHAT SCARES ME THE MOST is her control of the benzos. FORCING a fast Klonopin taper wouldn't work on me or anyone on it this long. I don't even want to stop that medicine, my life started the day I was prescribed that and has been great for 25 years because of it! My lil tolerance break tapers are working well enough... I'd literally maybe have to throw my life away n go on disability without Klonopin after 20++ years.

Like I've been "driving this bus" for 4 freaking decades now, I know when to put oil in it and what type it takes

And the icing on the cake.. my insurance finally approved a bunch of expensive dental work. But the oral surgeons n dentists said they won't touch me if I'm on that buprenorphine crap, but if Dr Quackette says no pain meds, then drilling insurance subsidized implants into my jawbone doesn't sound that freakin great anymore!! sht just the thought of that drill in my bone with no real pain medicine is literally cringe.

How do I deal with this, at what point is it malpractice? I signed a LOT of papers n waivers saying "your new doctor may have different views and treatment plans, blah blah blah" How do I find a new doctor, would that just be worse since she's apparently open to offering me KETAMINE therapy for anxiety instead of benzo.. I haven't addressed this with her yet. My next refill for kpin and roxy is in a few days so I don't wanna rock the boat too much yet..

I'm thinking about giving her a piece of my mind but the LAST thing I need is like a warp-speed benzo-taper. They forced that on me when I got arrested 15 years ago and I woke up in the hospital ward with a seizure and concussion.. Maybe request a different doctor at the practice but they're all pretty old and retiring soon too. Millions of people on here, if anyone knows a GOOD doctor near Indy inbox me

Any suggestions on how to handle this? Like is there an app to grade doctors like Yelp or something? How is one supposed to go "doctor shopping" with ailments requiring controlled substances? I get the feeling the majority will backstab me like this current quackette?

 

[HeadphonesandLSD]

They don't care about anything but themselves. Most of them have no idea what the drugs they prescribe do. I'd say 99% of the people on here are more educated about these chemicals than the average doctor.

I had one doctor put some shit in my chart 20 years ago and now they refuse to give me low doses of opioids even when I'm in 10/10 pain for kidney stones. I'm honestly surprised more people aren't showing up to their GPs and murdering the staff. They caused these addiction problems by handing out opioids and benzos like candy and now they're all putting people at risk of life threatening seizures and in debilitating pain to cover their own asses. All while they're buying summer homes and jetskis. I know of a bunch of elderly people that have gone into the ER in debilitating pain lately that weren't even given 5mg of hydrocodone because "it's addictive" and lots of middle aged men that dislocated a shoulder or tore out a knee that were labeled "drug seeker" because they requested anything for pain. No shit they're seeking drugs. They're in pain. That's the entire point of going. Control the pain then get the underlying issue fixed.

Meanwhile and I don't understand it there are still people out there that are somehow managing to get 200+ xanax bars a month and 150+ roxicodone pills all filled for $2 and a monthly GP visit they don't even pay for (covered by other people's taxes) who do nothing but fill them so they can sell them on the street for massive profits.

The whole health industry in America is fucked and the pharma companies are making massive profits. The nightly news in America now is all 100% advertisements for prescription drugs which should be illegal.

Honestly, you're lucky you're getting to see a GP at all. There are tons of us out here that worked all our lives paying taxes that have zero health insurance coverage. Every time I see a GP it's $150. The last time I went to the ER with a kidney stone I got treated like a junkie after they confirmed I had a massive stone, given one 5mg percocet for the pain, kicked out on the street with a script for 4 more 5mg percocets and told to try to pass it. This was after sitting in a waiting room for 8 hours in horrible pain, leaving that ER, going to another one, where the doctor wouldn't give me the time of day and treated me like a drug seeker until the CT scan was done. Then he refused to even give me a pain killer to bring down the pain levels via IV they'd already put in me. Then they took a chest X-ray for no reason other than to run up the bill. The nurse at the first ER acted like I was faking even though I was pissing blood. The first ER had the gal to send a bill for $400 even though I wasn't admitted. The second ER sent a bill for several thousand dollars (that one oxycodone tablet they charged me $40 for). They keep calling saying I don't have to pay if I come sign some paper work. I told them both to go fuck themselves I'm not signing a god damn thing. I'm so angry about it because two other family members got kidney stones within a month of me getting one. They both got treated like kings, got IV morphine, got seen within minutes despite the ER being much busier at the time.

My grandmother's GP has her addicted to benzos and on 6+ medications. They think he's a great doctor. I go to see him for a torn ACL and he says I'm faking and tries to put me on shit like olanzapine for mild sleeping issues. Same doctor sent me home with hydrocodone and xanax at age 12 for a fractured skull and told me to sleep it off. No follow up at all.

I pay cash at the dentist and the dentist refuses to give me anything for post-op pain after nearly breaking my jaw to remove wisdom teeth. I take my little brother to the say dentist a few months later for wisdom teeth extraction. Extraction was really easy for him because they weren't impacted. They send him home with an entire 60 day supply of hydrocodone.

I have no idea wtf is in my charts or why they treat me this way. They're horrible people and I wish chronic pain and brain injury on all of them. It's too bad they won't get treated the same way they treat people like us because as we know like cops they all look out for each other. I know several GPs that write themselves prescriptions for opioids and have been addicted to them for years. Nothing will ever be done about it.

My advice is to switch to one of the older doctors and go to them until they retire. This new batch of young doctors are dumb as fuck but they think they know everything because they sat through BS college courses where they probably didn't pay attention at all. They certainly don't read papers. Easy enough to tell they aren't doing that. Most of them believe whatever the pharma reps that are always in their office waiting rooms getting seen before real patients tell them. They're all making bank off the kick backs and they don't know anything about medicine ime.

I'm personally going to have to start growing my own poppies or something. If it weren't for kratom being legal I wouldn't be able to function day-to-day with the pain I've been living in for 30+ years now. For sleep I've just given up on that all together. I go 5+ days sometimes on no sleep until my body literally can't walk anymore. Then I sleep for 12-18 hours and repeat. I could actually be a functional member of the society if they'd give me a mild benzo or z-drug to take whenever things get bad or I could get proper medical care for what I suspect is CTE (I know it's some kind of brain damage). But that will never happen because I'll never be able to afford it in "the greatest country on Earth".

My brain is kind of like my knee and shoulder. Had the GPs I sought out and paid cash to initially actually took them serious I wouldn't be in such horrible shape now. Instead, I'm over here walking around on a knee that doesn't have ligaments in it anymore and working with a shoulder that sounds like a 2-cycle engine being pull started any time I rotate it.

Be thankful you have what you've got at the moment and try to save as much as you can before she cuts you off to save her own ass.

Whatever you do. Do not let her talk you into bupe or methadone. If you go on the bupe it will ruin your teeth. If you go on the methadone you'll regret it and it'll make you gain weight like nothing else. Once you're on either your medical records will be fucked for life too. They'll make you piss in a cup and if you pop positive for something like THC you'll get cut off for life and labeled a drug addict.

What she'll probably end up doing is attempting to refer you to a "pain clinic". Where they'll refuse to give you opioids if you remain on benzos.

Sourcing isn't allowed here but you should know that there are plenty of places where one can obtain long acting benzos that aren't exactly illegal. Kratom is also an option should you need an opioid to go with those. But be aware that it comes with its own host of problems and is likely to become illegal soon because it's cutting too much into the pharma company's profits. The same company/family that got the entire nation hooked on oxycodone is the same company making massive profits off putting everyone on bupe now. They reformulate the bupe every 10 years or so to retain their patent on it. They know the current formulation ruins teeth but they give no fucks about you. They're probably overjoyed that it ruins people's teeth because it means they can make even more money off the poor people they got addicted to opioids in the first place.

My little sister is now a doctor. She doesn't have her own practice yet but the moment she opens it I'm hopeful she'll take me on as a paitent and maybe then I'll finally get proper medical care for the first time in my life since I was 12 years old. I wasn't getting proper care at age 12 already because they didn't take concussions seriously back then and the doctor was giving me potent hydrocodone cough syurp for mild coughs and what-not. But at least he was trying.

Best of luck for you sorry about the rant. Just know you aren't alone.

 

[paranoid android]

I was in this situation about 3 years ago when my doc retired. Went to a nurse practinoner and the first thing she said was we need to take you off morphine and your benzos. So i said fuck that and went with a virtual doc and now i get my meds no problem

 

[HeadphonesandLSD]

Oh and as far as benzos are concerned. You do not want to risk going cold turkey off those. I had a supply of xanax for many years which I was taking in combination with oxycodone/hydrocodone. I cold turkey'd off both and it was hellish experience I wouldn't wish on my worse enemy. I sat in a dark room for 2 weeks crawling up the walls and watching the wood panel walls move around like I was tripping on LSD. It took over a month before I slept more than a couple of hours and several more months before I wasn't having horrible acute withdrawal from the benzos.

I ended up on methadone I sourced from the street taking about 10-15mg a day. I maintained on that for probably a year. Until I quit I had no idea how much it was effecting me everyday. I was an asshole to everyone and I couldn't function without taking my morning dose. If I forgot it when I was in a rush to get to work I'd have to make up excuses to drive the 30+ minutes home to take it.

You're going to have to "doctor shop" I'm afraid until you get one that isn't a total idiot. If you have health insurance you're in a good position compared to a lot of people. There are a lot of us that turned to the street because it was much cheaper than trying to pay cash to GPs up until the early-mid 2010s.

Again whatever you do don't go on bupe. Given the choice between bupe and methadone I'd take the 'done every time. Bupe ruined my teeth even though I was only on it for a few months. Going to that bupe clinic was the worse decision I ever made a long with being honest about my intake of opioids/benzos I was buying from the street to the doctor there and the one I saw at an ER one night when I went in with a horrible panic attack (I assumed it was a heart attack at the time). I was so scared that I admitted to using every drug I'd consumed since my early teenage years. Since then they've treated me like a drug seeker even if I show up with horrible pain. With the kidney stone I was in so much pain I considered going out into the parking lot and shooting myself in the foot in an attempt to get seen faster. That's how bad it was. Passing that thing with no pain medication was an experience I never want to repeat.

I also suspect the only reason I ended up with a stone in the first place was all the crap my liver/kidneys has been having to filter it due to daily use of plain leaf kratom for almost a decade now. When the large stone finally came out it was exactly the same color as the kratom leaf I intake daily. I'm terrified of having to pass another one. They say it's more painful than giving birth and I believe them. I know I'll eventually get some more because my father gets them every few years.

I'm not some typical looking junkie either. Never IVed anything. No track marks to speak of. Look more healthy now that I ever have aside from being underweight due to the fact that I've had to cut back on daily intake of food simply because I can't afford to eat more than 1-2 times a day since the economy went to shit a few years ago.

With a very small prescription for hydrocodone and xanax to control daily pain levels and sleeping patterns I'd be in a much better position. As it stands for the last 10-odd years I've been unable to maintain a job unless I source both from the streets because otherwise all I can do is lay in bed most of the day. When both were cheaper on the streets I could work a regular job and handle my daily duties around the family farm no issue.

Oh and I said ACL before. I meant LCL. I've been working on a bum knee with no LCL in it for over a decade now because the GP I went to didn't even both to feel that it was gone. By the time he admitted he was wrong and he should have taken me more serious he said now I'd require total knee replacement (he saw my limping around the yard working while visiting my Grandparents). My other knee is fucked too but at least I haven't managed to tear ligaments out of it yet. But both my knees are basically bone-on-bone at this point.

GPs and ERs are terrified now of prescribing opioids and benzos because of all the politics surrounding the "opioid crisis" they initially caused. They'd rather leave patients in debilitating pain than give them opioids. They're also unwilling to help anyone paying cash that doesn't have insurance. Their entire scam revovles around running up the bill for patients with insurance. They charge hundreds-thousands of dollars for medicine that sells for almost nothing in non-western countries (often OTC). My grandmother is on a heart medication that costs $2k+ a month most of that covered by insurance. In any other country I've checked a 30-day supply of it is like $5 if you pay cash for it.

The pharma companies own our Government. It's crooked all the way to the top.

 

[SeaDoo42]

JFC @HeadphonesandLSD that's insane, I wonder what all they put on your chart too for fcks sake.!?! My whole life I've seen that division too, like where some people get treated like crap and others get the royal treatment (which still sucks most of the time too).
That's honestly the exact reason I've always been SUPER careful to play innocent/naive around ALL doctors except the GP "good" doctor I had my whole life that's retiring/retired/not seeing me.... Dudes seen my ups and downs like woah!! And bro ngl I used to drink n smoke n party with the ravers back in the day-day, hell I supplied half their parties n wasn't stupid about it. Not saying you were. But I see it. I had/have tons of friends and ex's that got treated just like you, and tons that didn't..

The difference HAS to be what's on that medical chart/record/WHATEVER they're all freaking looking at!

I guess at least for me: I know WHO put it on there, and it was recent AF hell it was only this past December after ONE freaking visit..

so i NEEEEED that OUD BS *misdiagnosis* taken off ASAP. How TF do I do that?

Butter her up and ask her? Other routes/staff members??

(They all seem to like me at the office, hell I even had to call them from SE.Asia to ask medical advice). Btw @HeadphonesandLSD you'd LOVE the "kraTOMM" *smoothies* the tuktuk and longboat drivers get but that's literally the best opioid there for pain, they're even worse than here w/ that. Their people really suffer from it. Benzos-easy AF tho..

ANYWAYS I read the DSM-definition of what this OUD on my chart is. And basically ANYONE who's ever been in pain would qualify for 2 or 3 things and "make the blacklist", just the way it's written. I'm guessing I have no legal case even if I could afford a lawyer..?? I just want to NOT BE ON THE NAUGHTY LIST THE REST OF MY LIFE bc of ONE YOUNG DOCTOR. It's not too late is it? For fucks sake after my accident they re-broke bones to take the metal out so it wouldn't affect typical future old-age procedures like knees, hips etc, but now I'm scared they'll treat me like you Headphones.. no offense but I'm LITERALLY trying to avoid that at ALL COSTS here... Like frfr KILL me if I'm 80 and break a hip and only get ibuprofen at the ER..

Sounds like I might look into virtual doctors, IDEK where to start, ik we can't source or whatever but hopefully not in the grey area just taking about it, idunno where to even start with virtual doctors!!? Aren't they required to see us in person @paranoid android ?? That's exactly what I need. No clue where to start.. Like I said b4 "I've driven this bus for over 4 decades and I know what kind of oil it takes and when to change it"...

 

[SeaDoo42]

And sorry for the book, I'm halfway thinking out loud here. Like I said I'm in the middle of WDs, on purpose bc of Dr Quacktette pushing that bupe at me.

But I think this wellbutrin I JUST started taking -for if I get PAWS- and IDK if it's the lack of sleep or this wellbutrin but it's got me like half-manic feeling lol, maybe I shoulda waited a few days to start that.. had a script from an online psych quack my friend got me into, who charged my bank account $600 after an insurance mix-up through my crazy friend.

But I read Wellbutrin is good for PAWS something about giving ya more dopamine and energy. But now I'm anxious AF, I hate all those BS Zoloft, paxil, all the SSRI, SNRI DNRI - whatever alphabet soup antidepressants big pharma pushes. Tried every single one 25+ years ago before I finally got prescribed the benzo that actually works. And here we are. Fuck I need a good doctor AND/OR put this new Dr Quackette in check.. like if I go in there and say "pain feels way better so cut my roxys in half, ABSOLUTELY NOT on bupe, maybe she'll work with me until I find a better doc. And take that nonsense off my chart. It's the 20++ years of being on 90 benzos/mo. that I'm honestly terrified to stop taking, my life didn't even start until they put me on that, it'll WRECK me.

I just can't get a read on the Quackette, but apparently she has a bad read on me. Is your even FOR PAIN?? She came in the room with a paper ALREADY PRINTED with "bupe for long-term pain" *info* from like the VA or something govt, touting all these good sounding things. But she's also suggesting recommending sending me to MF ketamine therapy IF I have $500 bc "insurance won't cover it".

What on earth have I gotten into here? Would or COULD ketamine even reverse 20+ years of brain rewiring from 3x/day benzos?

Fck I just want to recover from my accident, and go live life like someone who doesn't have crippling anxiety.

 

[paranoid android]

JFC @HeadphonesandLSD that's insane, I wonder what all they put on your chart too for fcks sake.!?! My whole life I've seen that division too, like where some people get treated like crap and others get the royal treatment (which still sucks most of the time too).
That's honestly the exact reason I've always been SUPER careful to play innocent/naive around ALL doctors except the GP "good" doctor I had my whole life that's retiring/retired/not seeing me.... Dudes seen my ups and downs like woah!! And bro ngl I used to drink n smoke n party with the ravers back in the day-day, hell I supplied half their parties n wasn't stupid about it. Not saying you were. But I see it. I had/have tons of friends and ex's that got treated just like you, and tons that didn't..

The difference HAS to be what's on that medical chart/record/WHATEVER they're all freaking looking at!

I guess at least for me: I know WHO put it on there, and it was recent AF hell it was only this past December after ONE freaking visit..

so i NEEEEED that OUD BS *misdiagnosis* taken off ASAP. How TF do I do that?

Butter her up and ask her? Other routes/staff members??

(They all seem to like me at the office, hell I even had to call them from SE.Asia to ask medical advice). Btw @HeadphonesandLSD you'd LOVE the "kraTOMM" *smoothies* the tuktuk and longboat drivers get but that's literally the best opioid there for pain, they're even worse than here w/ that. Their people really suffer from it. Benzos-easy AF tho..

ANYWAYS I read the DSM-definition of what this OUD on my chart is. And basically ANYONE who's ever been in pain would qualify for 2 or 3 things and "make the blacklist", just the way it's written. I'm guessing I have no legal case even if I could afford a lawyer..?? I just want to NOT BE ON THE NAUGHTY LIST THE REST OF MY LIFE bc of ONE YOUNG DOCTOR. It's not too late is it? For fucks sake after my accident they re-broke bones to take the metal out so it wouldn't affect typical future old-age procedures like knees, hips etc, but now I'm scared they'll treat me like you Headphones.. no offense but I'm LITERALLY trying to avoid that at ALL COSTS here... Like frfr KILL me if I'm 80 and break a hip and only get ibuprofen at the ER..

Sounds like I might look into virtual doctors, IDEK where to start, ik we can't source or whatever but hopefully not in the grey area just taking about it, idunno where to even start with virtual doctors!!? Aren't they required to see us in person @paranoid android ?? That's exactly what I need. No clue where to start.. Like I said b4 "I've driven this bus for over 4 decades and I know what kind of oil it takes and when to change it"...

They dont need to see you in person in Canada in this proince but it might be different there

 

[SeaDoo42]

They dont need to see you in person in Canada in this proince but it might be different there

Lucky duck eh. I don't even know how online pharmacies/doctors work or where to start looking...never had to worry about it until a few months ago.

Oh and does ANYONE know with ANY LEVEL OF CERTAINTY if this new "history of OUD" that's all of a sudden on my chart now IS or ISN'T that same *mystical* drug-seeker database OR whatever it is where they put you in the group that gets treated like shit? HOW DOES THAT "LIST" WORK? I NEED TO KNOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE. OR IF IT'S TOO LATE..!

 

[emkee_reinvented]

dr s herealways were very reluctant to write out medication s that have a stigma surrounding it. Dependence forming and 'recreative' in the eye off the beholder ? Little recreation in treating insomnia with a Benzo or for anxiety for all i know.

Painkilling, awell was lucky to get Oxycodone prescribed once. Meaning the other times it was needed. It wasn t.

Opiod s carry risks they are habitforming, the reason they are discouraged was on national TV. Thinks it a BS reason they dragged from a dark pit. Opiod-induced hyperalgesia. Does that actually have a scientific backbone ? Or OD-ing especially when combined with a benzo like the Clonazepam. Which won t even get scripted here for its intended purpose Epileptic seizures.

So what is a chart, were the OUD is written on ? Chart = medical file, or a part of. If not ask your whole file up. Gives insight in what dr have written behind your back. Might contain the info that made the new dr form a opinion on you. Maybe you can also have thing taken out or add things/ correct them. It is your file, had mine destroyed 8 years ago didn t help shit btw. They work on assumption here

Welcome on board SeaDoo [see what it is now thought a boat its a waterscooter got to rent such a thing one these day s. I live between and about beneath the sea]

 

[SeaDoo42]

So what is a chart, were the OUD is written on ? Chart = medical file, or a part of. If not ask your whole file up. Gives insight in what dr have written behind your back. Might contain the info that made the new dr form a opinion on you. Maybe you can also have thing taken out or add things/ correct them. It is your file, had mine destroyed 8 years ago didn t help shit btw. They work on assumption here

It's a secured patient/provider app a lot of doctor offices use, literally called MyChart .. Mostly used to send messages, view test results, schedule appts, billing/insurance stuff, medication info, etc etc..

Usually a few days to a week after every visit, they put your 'notes' like vitals and all current conditions and any special instructions on it. You can go back to previous visits and look at the old visits.

The only changes I noticed from my old visits in "my conditions" on there - were that "history of OUD" that I'm concerned about -and something trivial about how the 24oz ice-coffee's I drink on my way to work are bad. And I never discussed coffee with my old doctor..so hrmm.

I could maybe request my whole "file". I guess the actual file is what I'm concerned about with that OUD misdiagnosis.

I'm just trying to tread lightly with them, lol I got a gut feeling that contacting them for all of my medical records and files and stuff, only 2 weeks before a visit, maybe wouldn't be the best idea, right now unless it's time sensitive or something like that

Does anyone know anything more about these medical files ? I would assume that legally they have to give you some of it, but is it the WHOLE file?

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Does anyone know anything more about these medical files ? I would assume that legally they have to give you some of it, but is it the WHOLE file?

Over here Nl. its your file. Seems the same in the USA. As far as i can see.
If it s the whole one or there is a secret one ? But here when there is nothing criminal in it. Or there is a law suit against your dr. by you. It was 100 % legal to have it destroyed.

I did keep a copy myself. Including some early year shit. Way before the PC era set in. So in the typical unreadable dr. handwritting. A good point for digitalyzing.

https://www.verywellhealth.com/how-to-get-copies-of-your-medical-records-2615505

 

[emkee_reinvented]

@SeaDoo42 OUD = Opiod Use Disorder, so yeah that seems a good reason to have a peak where that came from. Wouldn t mention that as the reason. Or anything at all, it s your file, not their s they just keep it for you and write thing s behind your back since birth. Got a DUI on my name, not in my cop file btw. And i don t own a car or even have a license. So a lot of made up shit can tricle on your name. Dr s are more thorough/ less selective then Cops. You might open a pitt of darkness maybe read it with that in mind.

That kindergarten game, telling a story mouth to ear to the one next to you. Most bizar thing s come out at the end. In my medical file was nothing interesting except a lot of BS. My blood-type which seem s a good thing to know was missing despite being used a puncture item as kid. Blood-drawing vampires institute

 

[notsmokeymcpot42088]

It is really really hard to get on the pharmacy "Blacklist" but I think when you are there no pharm will deal with you period -- nor most doctors.

This was gained from cryptic internet talk --- or maybe its redlisted idk, I thought it was redflagged, OUD, Went to rehab, etc --- than there is like a "Tricks doctors and forges scripts routinely" list that they will quit treating you at all basically.

Anyone know if that last list is true or not -- seems straight abusive to human rights; so prolly here in the US lol