I am not happy to bring bad news, but it's part of the recovery process. I relapsed today. I got what was supposed to be half and is a gram possibly. I also took 4-aco-dmt ≈20 mg about a half hour ago as it has felt like time for this for a while. I plan to meditate with classical music. I don't plan to continue using after this relapse, but I also don't plan not to. I was once told when you plan to do something you're making sure not to do it.
I also don't feel bad about the relapse or guilty. I do worry and concern I'll end up trying to do a low dose bupe early and later breaking through with dope, but I'm doing my best expressing it to my doctor that the physical pain might push me back to use where emotional that's why I used the 4-aco-dmt although I'd prefer opium to heroin as it's like comparing high grade wax to marinol.
So today's going to be an interesting day of reflection and redirection to make the perspective of having reason to get off opiates to project the future I desire out of my mind and upon reality to become a part of it.
The school thing is also definitely going to happen. This is the best time to go for economical and recently acquired open mindedness with the ability of perspective to focus on reality and what paths are available within reality and how likely a path is to be fantasy and reality combined
