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Hey friends, its been months, but I am back.

TennerPop said:
After all you've been through and all the medication you are using, you are considering getting stoned because 'you feel like you're holding her back' ? Weed might well help you but is it really worth the risk? I'd say not. Weed is very unlikely to help with anxiety and will probably make it worse.

Be patient. Try getting a hobby, something you can really put some effort into, progress with and really flourish at. Setting goals and achieving them over a period of time can really help with a positive state of mind. Try eating a healthy diet and exercise 2-3 times a week.
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This is exactly what I mean
 
Wow, I'm sorry to hear it. Maybe you posting the thread will make some people reconsider the frequency of use. Hope things get better for you man.
 
i get the weird random thoughts all the time too. sometimes i think "have i died and i dont know it and now im in hell?"..................
 
papoose said:
All I'm saying is that I know first hand, weed does NOT help! I believe weed is the root to all evil! It's horrible stuff. Your body needs nothing but food and water to survive, so I believe that's all you should give it. Especially when your feeling so fucked up from drugs! He can't be feeling as bad as I did to keep taking these
Concoctions of drugs Xanax whatever. Or he would turn his life style around and make
Things better! I Only know what I have read and sorry if I am wrong
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Well, weed may not help you but millions of MMJ patients would beg to differ. It's is more than a drug, it's a 10,000 year old medicine.

You can survive on food and water.... -barely-. You use other things such as a house and a bed to make your life easier.. so why not a flower?

And xanax is not a fucking "concoction" of drugs, it's an anti-anxiety medication used to treat chronic anxiety and panic attacks. So take your judgement elsewhere... because people have been telling him to just "make things better!" before I even joined this site.
 
Folley said:
Well, weed may not help you but millions of MMJ patients would beg to differ. It's is more than a drug, it's a 10,000 year old medicine.

You can survive on food and water.... -barely-. You use other things such as a house and a bed to make your life easier.. so why not a flower?

And xanax is not a fucking "concoction" of drugs, it's an anti-anxiety medication used to treat chronic anxiety and panic attacks. So take your judgement elsewhere... because people have been telling him to just "make things better!" before I even joined this site.
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What I'm saying is true...
 
Also it sure sounds like this
Dude is flowering...to flower you need success and loved ones... Not a bag of powder that brings fake tempory happiness! Come on drugs are the root to all evil! There are few successful narcotic takers! They don't live in the real world!
 
I feel like I'm stuck in another reality. I'm just so confused. The Prozac has helped my panic attacks subside but the general anxiety and nervousness is still there. The depersonalization is still there. My mind feels like it is stuck in a lazy state. I don't feel part of the world, if that makes sense.

I'm no longer carefree. I'd love to crack open a beer, smoke a little pot, go clubbing with friends, soak up the sun and enjoy life, but nothing feels the same. And I don't believe its depression, because I can still smile and laugh, but damn, I just don't know how to put it in words.

I also have this problem to wear my vision appears to shake, I don't know if my eyes are physically shaking or if its mental. Also, my perception seems to be discombobulated, sometimes things, such as when I watch tv or am on the computer, the screen and picture will appear to moderately "suck in and pop back out", nothing extreme but its something I notice.

I also have sensations of sinking into the ground, especially when I am nervous and having anxiety, as well as feeling the the earth is moving underneath me when its not.

:/ I can't believe how much my life changed from a year and a half ago. Literally 360 degrees. Maybe my mind and body are still in shock from all the events that happened.
 
I know I've said this before, but I'd absolutely give everything to rewind time. I honestly feel like I'm wasting space. My relationship with my mom is no longer there, my relationship with my dad is slipping away more and more each day, I haven't talked to my brother in weeks, I still have no job, I feel crippled. I honestly don't have one true friend anymore, just a small group that me and my girlfriend hang out with, and even with my girlfriend, we are still doing good, but I feel like I am only 1/4 of the man I could be for her.

I really want to be something, be someone, but this traumatic events set me back so far. I daydream of being a producer, being a musician, being a professional skateboarder, having a happy family, and nice home, traveling the world, but I'm stuck in the same routine, crippled by this depersonalization.
 
I can't read this thread anymore I feel like killing myself its so damn depressing!! Dude u gota snap the fuck out of it. Take responsibility for urself get the hell out of the house look for a job go see a doctor do something for urself. Don't mean to b a dick but tough love saved my life 17 yrs ago. Every bodies got problems in this world its how u handle em. I could write for days about all the shit that has gone on in my life but nobody wants to hear about it so I do what I can to live a decent life with what I have to work with. As far as any medical issues my condolences u need to see maybe a different doctor and get the help u need. But as for ur everyday life is concerned ur the only one that can change that. Good luck to u. Look on the bright side u have a gf means ur still getting laid!!
 
papoose said:
Not a bag of powder that brings fake tempory happiness! Come on drugs are the root to all evil!
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A flower is not a bag of powder. Neither is xanax.... they are both extremely helpful anti-anxiety drugs that can make his standard of living MUCH better.


So no... what you're saying isn't true.



thizzin' since 98 said:
And I don't believe its depression, because I can still smile and laugh, but damn, I just don't know how to put it in words.
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I have pretty severe Manic Depression brought on by MDMA abuse... it's not like I'm ALWAYS sad lol, actually my emotions can change 5 times in a minute. I still laugh and smile all the time... but I'm sad. On the inside. It's just.... I'm not happy. I feel like something's going wrong.... but I've learned to really just ignore it.


I'm the master of my body... I control how I feel... to a certain extent. Thizzin, you can do the same my friend! People have been telling you this forever.... but I don't know if you really do it man. You need to just, well, stop giving a shit. Don't let your brain have so much control over your life.... let your heart take over for a while.
 
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Thank you guys once again for all the responses and support.

I guess I've just dug myself into a hole and I'm having a tough time getting out. I realize that something is still off, so that must mean that I'm not completely messed up, otherwise I don't think I would even realize that things weren't right.

The depersonalization is what's really setting me back, it almost never goes away, so every time I go out to do anything, its a constant reminder. I also deal with tons of dizzy sensations, my vision shaking, etc, which make me so frustrated.
 
Depersonalization has always scared me the most... I mean being sad sucks... but not feeling ANYTHING is hell on Earth.

Luckily I only went through a small phase before things started to pick up for me.... I'm mostly just majorly depressed...



I have hope for you dude... things HAVE to get better eventually. I think that somehow you're fighting the change you need to make... but I'm certain you'll get there man. No one stays in such a shitty place forever... but the only one who can get you out of it is you.




Good luck my friend! You WILL get better. I will tell you that now. But you need to do what YOU need to do to make things better...





thizzin' since 98 said:
I also deal with tons of dizzy sensations, my vision shaking, etc, which make me so frustrated.
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Have you tried the racetrams yet? IIRC they are supposed to help even out blood flow in the brain among other things, that could be quite beneficial to stopping that.
 
Thank you Folley for the encouragement. I can never get enough.

I haven't tried to the piracetam yet, is it okay to take with SSRI's?

Folley said:
Depersonalization has always scared me the most... I mean being sad sucks... but not feeling ANYTHING is hell on Earth.

Luckily I only went through a small phase before things started to pick up for me.... I'm mostly just majorly depressed...



I have hope for you dude... things HAVE to get better eventually. I think that somehow you're fighting the change you need to make... but I'm certain you'll get there man. No one stays in such a shitty place forever... but the only one who can get you out of it is you.




Good luck my friend! You WILL get better. I will tell you that now. But you need to do what YOU need to do to make things better...








Have you tried the racetrams yet? IIRC they are supposed to help even out blood flow in the brain among other things, that could be quite beneficial to stopping that.
Click to expand...
 
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