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Hey all - posting after years of reading

catalana

catalana

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 23, 2011
Messages
49
Location
LA-Barcelona
Hi all, been addicted since 16 to hard drugs which makes 30 years of use. Now living in west coast of US but fm Barcelona where during a time of total anarchy I became addicted to H along many of my peers. Thought a geographic move would help (was naive) . Have been reading threads forever for info and many times I find myself wanting to add to them. Thought saying hi to all of you would be right way to start. Thank you guys for the wealth of info and advice! Hope to be more active.
 
Hate it now in Santa Barbara up all night so cool n breezy here. Will take 2 meters of snow at -10C any day than the nasty LA heat. Hoping to move out of LA soon. How did I end up in this hellish city!! Thanks for your welcomes. Right now I'm going thru a bad time n my addiction out of control. I'm such a hedonist doubt I am ready for ttl change but need to slow down.?
 
Traffic, people anti intellectual. Cops. No feeling of community like SFO or NY. I miss Barcelona daily love Catalonia . We want independence fm Spain who steals our taxes n is still ruled by the sons or grandsons of fascists prohibiting a referendum Sked for nov 9 no matter what. Most Catalans favor independence n they act like thugs. There I never worried about cops. Have to go bk but I go nuts there with prescriptions n white dope. Still addicted to H n now iving coke as well. I've managed to finish university n hold good jobs all while addicted. Hate tar it messed up my best veins after years of not missing once n keeping crook of arms usable for 20 years. Thx for asking.
 
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Welcome to BL:)

I hate thinking of black tar too its nasty stuff that's for sure. Would rather do pills myself.

Let one of us know if there's anything we can do for you that's what were here for:)
 
catalana said:
Hi all, been addicted since 16 to hard drugs which makes 30 years of use. Now living in west coast of US but fm Barcelona where during a time of total anarchy I became addicted to H along many of my peers. Thought a geographic move would help (was naive) . Have been reading threads forever for info and many times I find myself wanting to add to them. Thought saying hi to all of you would be right way to start. Thank you guys for the wealth of info and advice! Hope to be more active.
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Hey there, Catalana,

Welcome to the Bluelight family. You are very much like a lot of new posters here in that you have read for a while become becoming a poster. That's ace and we're glad that you have decided to join and wish to participate in the forums.

I'm going to list a few forums that may be of interest to you. I'm sorry if you are aware of them already. I am unsure as to whether you tended to read Bluelight via search engines or through the site itself. If you already know of the links, I hope you don't mind as they may also help another new member in the same circumstance as yourself.

Addiction and Recovery

You may be interested in the following

THREADS
- Suboxone/ Buprenorphine Megathread and FAQ V.18.0
- Personal Accounts of Addiction What's Your Story
- Today I am thankful for...
- Exercise 4 Health, Mental Health and Addiction vs. I worked all that out
- May getting and / or staying sober thread vs. May Flowers
- Creating Positive Change vs. If Nothing Changes, then Nothing Changes
- Vent / Rant Thread vs. Don't Get in My Way

SUB-FORUMS
- Other Drugs (OD)
- The Dark Side
- Sober Living
- Mental Health

Social Stuff
There also an Adoption Programme which is basically a programme where current members (Bluelighters) befriend new members (Greenlighters) and help them settle into the site. If you decided that you'd like to become "adopted," feel welcome to post a reply to the adoption thread, expressing your interest which a bit about you (if you wish). The thread is also one of the sticky threads at the top of New Members Introductions (NMI) sub-forum.

New Members Introductions (NMI) Social Thread

European and African Drug Discussion (EADD) We're a friendly bunch, discuss a diverse amount of topics, supportive, have a good laugh and a banter, are very supportive and welcome. EADD have a main social thread called Gibberings as well as its own recovery forums such as
- Opiate and opioid withdrawal Coping strategies and medication
- The Maintenance and Aftercare Thread

Links for Newbies, rules n stuff!

I would also advise you to read the Greenlighter's Guide and the rules known as BLUA (Bluelight User Agreement) because they protect us members as well as the site. For instance; one of the rules is no sourcing, if a member had not read the rules and discusses sourcing, then they may receive a warning or whatever, and if they had have read the rules, they would have avoided receiving, eg a warning.

For any technical issues you may have with the site, of if you'd like to give feedback, feel free to participate in the Support forum.

Wishing you all the best in your recovery and hope you have an ace Bluelight experience.
Evey
 
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Thx for your welcome. Been to programs around the world always pushed by family. Never lasted n in US there is only AA n most Europeans never buy it. Was in a awesome pgm close to Barcelona for a year meds: qualudes n other meds, horse back ridding n therapy groups didn't work out either even went to Berlin was ok but no meds n left ! My family has accepted my condition. My sister od at 28 very sad. Enough life story Gràcies a tots!

Thanks for your help n welcome evey!
 
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catalana said:
Thx for your welcome. Been to programs around the world always pushed by family. Never lasted n in US there is only AA n most Europeans never buy it. Was in a awesome pgm close to Barcelona for a year meds: qualudes n other meds, horse back ridding n therapy groups didn't work out either even went to Berlin was ok but no meds n left ! My family has accepted my condition. My sister od at 28 very sad. Enough life story Gràcies a tots!
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Oh so sorry about your sister, I agree that's sad. I know that there are no words we would ever say but I'd be willing to listen any time and this forum is a very supportive and caring forum. There's lots of information here too. As for your addiction - you are trying and that's what truly matters.

Take care,
Evey
 
I'm not successfully decreasing. I v coke is very addicting doing 20 a day im a needle fiend. My friends so worried have low blood pressure (70/40) n loosing a ton of weight. Can't eat 4 days out of a wk. weight 48 kg in Us it's considered thin ( I'm 5'6) my best friends n I working on reducing drug/alcohol intake together . Just broke up with one. Bf .. Love other boy much more but it's an excuse to screw up more! H not a real problem physically but coke has ravaged me n 100 mgr per shot is extreme due to quality but I'm reckless. I hate my out of control coke addiction. Any suggestions: wont snort find it a waste but have no will power no higher power n not scared. Love sneezing n nausea crazy ha? Help
 
Maybe come down and sleep for a few days or a week?

I think the best way to stop doing coke is to sleep it off. I am not passing judgement by any means. I have been there myself.

I really only see the drug as psychologically addicting unless you are getting really shitty coke that is cut with poison. Then usually that makes you feel so awful you want more coke. Usually you end up craving it harder.

Dealers often put a bit of something like raid in their product just to keep users feeling like shit just, to keep them using. There really is not much quality control with street drugs unless you have a solid connection and even then you are rolling the dice every time.

I guess the real battle is staying clean, but a long run on IV coke is brutal on the body. For me I would just be like OK I am going to drink some beers and lay here and go to sleep and I would just stop using.

If you realy want to lay off the drugs, you need to figure out why you are using them. It sounds like you are a pretty heavy duty abuser and that is kind of the point where it is too much, at least in my opinion.

If that doesn't work, I suppose there is detox, but really there is not much they will give you but it will give you a structured environment and you could have the option of going to a halfway house or a 28 program.

Personally I never really found coke to be that addictive except when I was high on it. At that point it is extremely addictive and at first I was surprised at the things people would do for it. But now I am not surprised by the actions of anyone using cocaine heavily.

Give it some time off of coke and it will get better. I suppose the biggest trigger is just the temptation of the feeling it gives you and well in my experience cocaine is one hell of a drug and a dual edged sword and really not worth it to me to fuck with it.
 
dopemaster said:
I really only see the drug as psychologically addicting unless you are getting really shitty coke that is cut with poison. Then usually that makes you feel so awful you want more coke. Usually you end up craving it harder.

Dealers often put a bit of something like raid in their product just to keep users feeling like shit just, to keep them using.
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lolwut

Coke cut with poison makes you fiend harder?

Dealers "often" adding insecticide to their product to "keep them using?"

Bullshit.

Welcome to bluelight CATALANA :)
 
Sleep Tue n wed. Buy too much going thru a divorce n he hates coke so now i do what i want. I know it's psychologically addicting but miss white dope n I'm a needle fiend n love seeing when I hit. It's hard to stop when my connect has both. Trust me everyone giving me a hard time even my mom knows I'm hopeless! Might be going bk to Barcelona soon n there my addiction is 10x worse. I'm a mess! I use to be anti coke now look where I am. In treatment we opiad addicts use to laugh at coke addicts like it was a joke. Joke on me. Thx for your advice!! 2a n still up again!!
 
Did I give you the link to the IV megathread? I'm sorry I'm on my iPhone right now. If you click on the Other Drugs link that I've given you in my first post. Go to the sticky for list of megathreads. You'll find an IV megathread, created by Albion. That may be of help to you.

I'm sorry I didn't give you the link as I thought you were in recovery n didn't want to trigger you or set you back. But there may be a lot of useful info in that thread in terms of harm reduction.

You're amongst friends here no one will judge you or be shocked. I didn't reply sooner because I know nothing of coke IV n others who do would be more helpful.

Take care - and sorry about the divorce.

Evey
 
Thx im judged constantly: lack of eating, sleep, drug use and on and on. Im so messed up have 0 Will power n AA goes agAinst my upbringing even my mom hates it n she wants me cleaner( shes given up on ttl sobriety). When I see "expect a miracle" on the detox floor of a hospital I start disputing with staff to post it on cancer ward. If I could drop Iving coke that would be huge. Again thx for your support ! Don't worry about divorce he's a tyrant n I have a much better friend/lover just worried about my daughters they r freaking out!!
 
Thanks for welcoming me! My English still sucks n to add to madness I have 5 languages installed n keyboard jumps around n autocorrects!
 
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