Heroina poema y canción (Heroin poem and song)

[bwanajzj]

Hey, I wrote a poem about heroin a while back, and I just came across the old *.txt file. It is posted below. The poem was actually meant to be the lyrics to a song, but the song hasn't been written yet, so until I get around to strumming the right riffs and tunes to it, it will remain a poem.

Now I'm no pro poet, but I felt inspired at the time.

Any suggestions, comments, criticism, etc. - very welcome! Especially if you have musical ideas that suit the words. In terms of rhyming scheme and rhythm, and so forth, I haven't put too much thought into it; as long as it is read with patience and at a steady pace, it should have a nice flow. I also hope I posted it in the proper sub-forum...

I would urge anyone else who has or has had a heroin addiction and an interest for poetry/lyrics, to post their musings and creative writing on the topic.

Poem title: Smack

I see her slithering
Simmering in the sun
She winks at me
My soul is sold, deal done
Inside i lust, a tender quiver
Her empathy torments
Until my morals whither

I'm a sucker for this game
Dancing with the devil
Although I am the tamer
The beast has me tamed

Soft brown, luscious skin
For me to devour
For her to lure me in
She can numb my senses
From the despair they're in
She has no mercy, shame, or pity
She'll be there, seductive
Letting herself in

I'm a lover, in her name
Flirting with the devil
Insane, far from tamed
The beast has me strained

She makes me think-
And I will believe
That with her in my life
Only good shall proceed
I'm craving her taste
I'm craving her tease
I'm craving her tickle
And setting her itch at ease

I'm a lover, in her name
Insane, strained, tamed
Forever retained by
Her confining comfort
I sense my last resort
And she blames me
A most convincing retort

I fiend off her flame
The sweet bitter taste of
Her poisonous game
Smack
The sound of bodies falling
Of dead surrender
To her love calling

 

[thujone]

nice one, the ending has a lot of impact.

 

[bwanajzj]

^Thanks... I gave it a go at onomatopoeia with the smack part...

I like I'm craving her tickle, and setting her itch at ease...

This poem is probably not good for me to read, because it brings so many physical feelings back and kick starts all those mental cravings... And now I'm left wondering if the days dose of Buprenorphine was enough... Damnit!!!!