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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Heroin Withdrawal Timeline (my personal diary)

I bet mate!
What do you do for a living?
I am in the marketing field myself. Got to love freelance work ehh..
 
Systems engineering is what pays the bills for me. IT stuff but pretty complex infrastructure stuff. I have a Mon-Fri schedule but I get a work from home day every week, sometimes 2 if I really feel like it.

I've often considered going a contracting route as there's a lot of money to be made and a crazy up to yourself schedule in between contracts but the security and good health insurance has kept me from it in the past. Who knows what I'll do after getting free from the pills though. Could be up for anything. Hell, before the pills got bad I almost took a government contract to do IT out in Afghanistan. Was going to be 175k and first 85k is tax free. Still parts of me wishes I would have done that but I was married at the time and she wasn't having any of that.

You dig what you do mang?
 
I mean I have worked in sales and online marketing for years - I have had so many contract deals that would pay me literally thousands and thousands up front - but I quickly got burnt out due to my drug use and ended up doing prison time. Yikes!
Now, I'm freelancing to pay the bills. It's hard to find a career with fraud/theft charges on your record :(
I don't know what to do.
I have a fantastic resume and I get these marketing jobs but as soon as HR runs that good ol' background check, they cut me off real quick.
 
Saw the pics, nice going, told ya today would be better , as long as you do the right thing, I believe things will work out. My son has record, and a history, but as I tell him, you can't let it pull you down anymore. The right job, right whatever is out there, you just gotta go get it, and once you stay clean anything is possible . Not waiting on the next hook up, fix, instead waiting on a job, place to live, a paycheckm is much nicer way to live, fondly all bono
 
Thanks so much bono.
I know with the power of staying clean anything is possible!
I am excited to start a new chapter in life.
I do need to keep telling myself - one day at a time and not to get discouraged!!!

how are you feeling anyways? I hope you're doing alright yourself!
 
All is well, just took 2nd shower of day, I have this weird concept of being clean. Rough day the shop where my son works , well his boss did the work on suv, ouch, oh well, not spending on drugs so all is ok, boy it is strange how I never thought twice about forking money out for drugs, but when it comes to basics, I find it hard. I'm feeling ok wake up alot through nite, everynite, so it is my quiet time, to read bluelight, which I use to my benefit.
 
I know exactly what you mean, I have no been getting that great of sleep :(
I still move around at night and just can not fall asleep!
I know about those showers, I have been taking about 10 a day LOL.
It feels soo good, and soothes those aches for me!
 
Okay This is DAY 5 of my heroin CT withdrawals.
It's January 5th, 2016.

I actually got decent sleep today - Only woke up once thru the night!

Most of my withdrawals seem to be under control - Just some aches and stomach pain from time to time.
But I can honestly say, It was not too bad.

The only thing was I DID have a really bad using dream!!
It got so intense.. Scary stuff!!

I hope everyone is doing well.

Cheers!
 
Great job, wow! I see you been taking motr in 800 mg that may upset your stomach, try make sure take it with little bit food or milk, amazing how over the counter stuff helps, especially after what we been through!!!
 
It does wonders! No opiate needed, lol.
I have been going to online NA meetings which have been nice too.
I am currently drinking tea listening to some lovely music. Cheers bono!
How are you feeling today? I hope all is well!
 
Amazing, I am ok, went to lab get bloodwork, ouch!!! I am hard stick, I never got the iv thing down, just watching what tech did, needed butterfly so all for best, now wait and see, feeling sluggish today anyway, thanx for askin! Bono
 
For the anxiety you can try gabapentin or also what worked for me for a while was propranolol before i just switched back to the benzos. I was shocked how well the propranolol worked. When you get anxiety your heart rate raises so this lowers it.
 
Guys are still running strong. So awesome. Got caught up on your thread. Really tough stuff with the HR predicament but I could understand how that goes. Had to go through crazy extensive background checks for the type of work I do (talking like 5 separate hand scans and all my fingerprints type stuff ... but no drug test ... wild) Messing with really expensive data centers that run really expensive data.

Wanted to stop in and say hey. Today is the no kratom day for me (had 4 grams yesterday in 2 separate doses of 2g) which is fine as I feel a lot better than I did yesterday minus a pretty decent alcohol hangover that I didn't intend on purchasing. So could be worse though :)
 
Well, I feel like I am at this emotional halt at the moment.
I keep thinking about my past and how bad I have ruined everything.
I have lost my income and my apartment.
I can not even afford food much less any money to get some comfort medicine.
I feel like I am going thru this emotional rollercoaster.
I lack proper stability which makes me want to disconnect with the world anyway possible.
I envy the ones that have not hit rock bottom before deciding to end the vicious cycle of addiction.
This is where my vicious cycle always leads up to for me.
The depression, which causes me to act impulsively ie commit a felony for funds.
I don't want to but I am running out of option.
I just came across some news where if I don't achieve some sort of income I have no place to live.
I am without a paddle here.
I just figured I needed to document this feeling. Just feeling sort of hopeless at the moment.
I will not use, I just don't know where to start.
 
W0w: I am sorry that you are experiencing issues with your living situation! I am relieved to see that no where did you state that you would start using over these bumps in the road. I remember the first time I got clean and sober: all the "wreckage" from my past was staring me in the face. I felt it more sharply being clean.
You mentioned hitting some NA meetings... have you shared about it there? Also, when I worked the steps it helped distract me, give me insight in to my behaviors, and also I got much needed extra support from my sponsor. Everything worked out b/c I stayed clean and sober.
Do you have family around or good friends to help out? We are here on BL to listen and offer our support and encouragement!
 
Wow sorry to hear, I know that my moods are all over the place, but right now I know as you do, we don't need any more problems, which would happen if....I am thinking of going to an agency see about work at home, my mom lives with me and sitting around is triggering thoughts, I try keep busy but not enough . Can't afford to have help with her we are on fixed income and I refuse cash her annuity so I also gotta figure out things, it's rough, but when we down only way go is up bono
 
On day 6 - still holding strong.
I have to see my PO tomorrow at 11AM.
Hopefully, I do not go to jail for possible violations.
 
That's great work. Doubly so with all that stress to deal with.
Good luck with the PO!
 
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