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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Heroin Withdrawal Timeline (my personal diary)

yeah those subs were very hard for me to get off of for some reason - I had to go back to heroin cause the withdrawals were horrible for me - I was IVing it though too so that may have been why.
 
The chills and sweat thing seems neverending I am always putting on or taking off sweatshirt or something, do you have rls?? That is major with me, I have a script for neurontin but haven't consciously taken it, I did when first got it but felt loopy on it, anyhow, nothing but best for ya bono
 
Oh man, that's what is killing me the most the restless leg syndrome! During the day it's not soo soo bad, but at night, phew it's pretty annoying.
What I have been doing is literally taking hot showers and then tucking my legs and crossing them to give it pressure. It helps somewhat.
Give it a try!
 
Wow really? Unconsciously I sit on my legs, like now typing, so I will try it, anything, other than more pills, right? Really though thanks
 
yeah man, no problem.
i will be keeping you up to date on everything - if should do the same mate - cheers!
 
I don't know how to use this site, and I need it SO bad right now.

first, I am in awe of you two. I'm following and ya making me less scared to try... I plan to taper, we know how that plan always ends up, so I'll end up CT on here, but I starting today. I had planned to have nothing in2016 -fail. Planned to limit in 2016 after first fail- failure again. Death is at my doorstep if I don't change. I'm going to lose EVERYTHING. Nobody knows. It's lonely and I more scared, but if they knew, I would be left, and that means no husband, adult children, home, job etc.
I hope I can figure out how to use this. I "may" try CT...how great to wake up tomorrow and take nothing. Start clean and try to ride it out. These posts will get me there I think. I WANT it. I BEG AND PRAY for it. I want me back.
Let me know if you can see my posts, if I get logged out by accident how do I get back?
 
It's so strange because I don't feel that sad or anything. I actually feel motivated. Like a huge weight is being lifted from me!
I know that this shit will pass and I feel like I'm going to be okay!! I don't have the desire to go back and use - I just want to feel better and I know I will with time.
I know I am most likely 'pink clouding' as they say but i would rather be pink clouding than really sad and depressed which causes me to relapse!
 
sobliss, I can see your post - IF you get logged out just re-log in via the log in on the upper right hand corner!

I would say go for the CT route only because it doesn't last as long - but this also depends what you're using and how long you have been using.

Give me some background information: ie; drug of choice and period of use.

I have gone thru heroin withdrawal, suboxone withdrawal, oxycodone withdrawal, and methadone withdrawal. I can relate to alot of them.

For methadone and suboxone - I would suggest a taper.

For oxycodone, poppy seed, heroin, ect - I would suggest cold turkey.

but again - it depends on usage/dosage too.
 
Sobliss glad to see you are less scared to give this a chance. I've been at deaths door once od'd and didn't know it was brought back with paddles, there is this heavy cloud of despair the first couple days but as Wow said motivation somehow kicks in. Failure happens gotta just keep at it, keep trying, that's not failure, as long as you desire this you can do it bono
 
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Started with lortab, prescribed for dislocated shoulder, gym rat (well I was a year ago), now just a rat in my bedroom :(
2 years progression, lortab, Percocet to oxy. I'll NEVER forget the first 1/4 of an RC my friend gave me for pain. That 1/4 of it made me feel AMAZING! I was going thru a divorce, 20 years of a life that what most would dream for. Two kids. Adults now, in their 20's. One, after the divorce COMPLETELY write me off. All I did was CRY day in and day out. I was a mom that did it all. Baseball mom, room mom, college tour mom...you name it. We loved each other SO much. Then he decided I destroyed the family, no opiates at that time, I had done a GREAT job making his dad look perfect, as was my job as a wife and mother to do, that I hid the bad stuff my ex did :( So, it made it appear all me in the ending of our perfect little family. So then we jump to the dislocated shoulder, real pain, no insurance, working as always, holding it together. Then the one little taste of RC. I'm rambling .... Hope it's ok to get the story to you. I need help, you need the info to help me I think :((
So 3-4 yrs ago, tasted and loved RC. Job started failing. I resigned, only b/c they were soon to fire me. My current husband (ends up he's very NP) blinded by the RCs, I quit. So then back to doing what I could, the other part of my job. Spending hundreds, THOUSANDS on those lil blue devils. They make my pain (mental pain) go away.
I'm tired of being tired. I want my body back, my health, my self respect, my friends (I've completely isolated) I need to make good decisions right now. I'm tooooooo old to not be planning for my future. This pill controls vacations, weekend get always.
Now what I've tried...
Cold turkey 3 times. Fail.
Two of those times I luckily had a bladder \ kidney infection bad enough to be hospitalized. Came out clean from RC's but they never stepped me down from the dilaudid, sooooo still loved being on opiates. Every 4 hrs I hit my buzzer. You would think that would have given them a clue I might have an opiate issue :(
Now-today...
I am typically doing 10 30 mg RC a day, snorting.
I have a taper plan set. It's tough and short, but safer than cold turkey. I can't be too ill, I have to work. I want to suffer some so I don't forget this. I am nodding off as I type.
My taper plan --- I HAVE to stick to it. I wish I had someone here to help me stay on it. I know NA will not sponsor an active user, I tried that route
I SO damn in awe and impressed with you two and what you're going thru. May I ride along? Will you help me? If so, and if it doesn't cause you to want to use (God not worth it) then I will put my plan for you to help me stick to it. I HAVE to work, excel at and keep this job. I will stay on this site and oat it forward I promise. I'll help the next. My story may be very different
From you two, I'm old...lol. 47, but I look a lot younger, I keep myself up :)) I'm married, did that high on Lortabs (all I could get at the time)
Been married 1 year. I work but can work from home most of the time. 2 step kids we have 50%
And two adult kids of my own. Mine live near campus, I don't see them. They don't know about this issue, but I'm guessing they see a different "mom"????
I rambled. I had to get it all out. I did for sure. I understand if you don't want to let me ride along, but I'm scared, alone (even in a home of people, I've isolated to my bedroom for almost 6 mo's), death is knocking on my door....
Thx for reading this...
 
hey sobliss,
powerful stuff there, it sounds like, to me, you have been thru alot of heart ache due to those roxys.
Just stick with your taper and dont give up! Like i said previously, I'm going thru a cold turkey but the only reason for this because i don't have the funds to taper if I wanted to.

I know bono is doing a taper and i'm sure he has some insight for you as well.

Just be strong, and keep moving towards your goal. You can do it - Have faith!
 
Hey wait a minute I am a she,np, and I have few years on ya sobliss, and yes we all have the same thing in common and are struggling. I don't feel my age and I also have young look my story is somewhere in a thread don't remember where though, showing my age lol. This is hard I know I know I beat myself up too, but maybe this is the time to begin to recover, idk, I do know that I want to stay clean, and reading and typing I feel like I belong to something that has made me want this. My avatar name has to do with who, where and what I am hang in there keep posting the support is overwhelming bono
 
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I wish all of you the best of luck! I recently got sober for 5 days which is the longest ive gone in awhile. I plan on soon quitting also because of work and hoe my habit affects my work i have to. I plan on quitting anywhere from within a week until march but some time in that time frame i will quit CT. Although i plan on stocking up on random other meds like benzos and whatnot to help the first few days. I hope those of you who have already quit stay clean and bliss i cant wait to be reading your story as it unfolds and im sure that with the support of this site that you will be able to quit and stay clean and get your life back! One day at a time friends.
 
Haha, I'm sorry bono - It's hard to tell the difference between male and female on here some times!

DoesntLearn, just take it one day at a time - at least you know you're going to quit here soon.
I know exactly how you feel about being stuck with work - that's what continued my vicious cycle. It got to the point where all my money went to my IV habit.
So I finally just gave up and took some emergency leave. I'm sure your employers would understand - and if not - you may have some vacation time you could
possibly take?

---
I also thought I would put a little update as well on my progress:
It's now 5:36PM on January 3rd 2016 -
I have been pretty much on the computer lurking thru bluelight the entire day.
I'm just trying to burn thru this day so hopefully tomorrow is even better.
I don't to seem to have to bad of withdrawals right now - It could be a mind thing - I'm not sure.

The chills have decreased but I do have some body aches.
I ate some noodles and I have been trying to drink water, it's still kind of hard to do..
I'm going to take a bath, and possibly put on a movie and lay down for a bit.

Kudos to all of you.
And thank you to everyone that has been posting on here - You are all helping me get thru this so so so much.
For that, you are all amazing. and I love you all. xoxoxoo.
 
You are doing great wowomg! I would bet the worst is behind you. It is reading what you just posted that continues to make me want this. Every time I stopped using I read and reread threads and stories of success and not so success ones really weighed on me and so I joined. I also have somewhere now that I feel I can be honest be it good bad or indifferent. It is nice not being judged here bono
 
It's now getting around that time where the end of day 3 is coming to a close and day 4 is ahead!
I am hoping I can get some decent sleep. I don't feel too restless right now, which means i am excited
how I am going to be feeling tomorrow!! I hope it's good!! YOU CAN DO IT BONO STICK WITH IT!!
Same with you DoesntLearn and SoBliss - I believe in all of you!!
We need to stay strong! We can fight this. To new beginnings and better futures!
 
w0w0mg, I saw ya stopped by in my thread, figured I'd swing through and read your story since you have it all laid out here. I'm quite guilty of spending quite a few hours on here when I'm really suffering. Something about feeling the camaraderie or maybe more accurately the, "misery loves company" ... :).

You're kicking ass though. Making leaps and bounds from the progression in your posts ... or at least it appears that way. I'll probably be online a lot over the coming few days as I'm off work for this endeavor and now back home. I'll definitely check in and see how you all are doing.

Keep up the good work bono!!! I didn't realize you were a chick until ya mentioned it above :D ... good to know.

Sobliss ... I really feel for you. You're daily intake is where I was about 1.5 years ago. That was a rough ride but believe you me, it's totally do-able. When I came off that high of an amount, I had about 4x4mg subs and did an extremely rapid taper over the course of one week and jumped from there. Far from pleasant but it led to the only 6 month period of clean time for me in the last 4-6 years. Best of luck to you!
 
Hi all! The amount of support here is amazing. Wow, it is great that we can help each other to fight against such hard odds. I am starting to feel bit more positive about staying clean, and that is big in my book, I can't shake the guilt though, I guess it will lessen, bono
 
As far as work goes ill be fine as long as i quit in the winter when we arent super busy. Thats why i need to do it somewhat soon. Ill figure it out soon and when i do ill let you guys know.
 
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