thevol357
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2013
- Messages
- 27
This is my first ever post... A long time coming. I have been anonymously navigating these forums for many years, mainly looking for detox advice. At this point I have learned enough about myself and the fire I am playing with that I would just like to share some "IMOs" with the general public, which may just now be dabbling with the awesomely-rewarding experience that is heroin (or any opiate) withdrawal.
My heroin use started in 2011. I would not be one to say that I was hooked from day 1, but I am definitely one to say that I had no interest whatsoever in stopping after day 1. It was a seemingly easy transition that eventually, 2 years later, led me to a 10 - 15 bag a day habit, always smoked, never touched a rig (not that it makes me a better addict by any means, I was scared thats all). At this point in time I came to the apex of my first ever successful detox at home. I had withdrawn in jail 3 different times, only one time all the way through.
This time I was due to turn myself in for a 1.5 year sentence. On the 4th of July 2013, I decided I would quit on my own terms. My WD tools: 8mg strip of Suboxone (1/3 every morning), 1.75 g high grade medical cannabis, as well as the horrifying memories of jail withdrawal. After reading so many terrible stories about Sub addiction online, I knew there was no way I was going to a doctor...any DR you go to will basically make you sign up for atleast 6 months maintenance (aka addiction to some HARDER SHIT). Its as simple as 0.3 of a 8mg strip for the first 3 days and just smoke the hell out. Sub had such a long half life that after day 3 the residual effects should EASE you down for the next couple days. By day 5 you will be right as rain.
Life comes at you fast, so lets fast forward 1.5 years. I relocated, stayed clean this entire time, got a killer corporate job, and my first place ever. You can guess what happened next. I started "chipping" which is another word for slowly fucking yourself in the ass. Dont listen to what anyone says. Eventually it will get you. ESPECIALLY if it has had you before.
During the next 7 months I chipped with no major issues. Then my use slowly went up from once every 2 weeks to 1nce a week and bla bla everyone knows how the monkey rolls. This time I was not a homeless junkie with free time at mom's house. I had a job and rent to pay. So I got to researching and noticed a few people had mentioned counteracting withdrawal with that girl named Chrystal. Shieeet 8( it just so happened that one of the days I was sick a buddy had some while waiting for dope man. Lit up the foil and made EVERYTHING go away instantenously. Now I have never gotten felt any high from crystal. It simply kept me awake. While dope sick it simply took all my symptoms away and made me feel normal. Blew my mind.... Later that night I dabbed out on some hash wax and slept like a baby.
Well now it is 2 days later and Day 1 of "Seriously I am over this shit, time to move on and grow up".
My day started out waking up with the chills. 2 hits of chrystal, 1 beer, 4-5 dabbs, and a giant cup of coffee and I was ready to hit the ground running. At this point I am confident that its nothing I cant handle on my own. Dope man been calling all day: told him to fuck off. So he keeps calling. Oh :how the tables have turned sweetheart! How many times have I called you dope sick and waited hours upon hours for nothing! Enjoy the silence asshole! Additionally, I signed a lease for my new and first ever apartment by myself so that has me feeling super extatic. This recent binge only lasted a month and the withdrawals still suck, but I have far too much to lose to show any weakness.
I am a firm believer in that addiction is not a disease (disorder YES, disease NO!); furthermore - I believe that this kind of thought process allows for excuses. I went to NA for exactly one meeting. The therapist there that night started out with his cliche "Addiction is a disease..." at which point I had to ask a burning question... "Do you believe cancer is a disease?.....oh yes?... Can I wake up and choose to stop having cancer... Like if I just sat it out at home for a few days will the cancer go away?" He could not answer the question and completely ignored me. I got up and walked away from the last meeting I would ever attend. The last thing I want to do is sit there and talk about drugs anyways when I am trying to stay clean.
Guess what guys and girls...its a choice. You cant choose to rid yourself of ANY disease out there. But you can choose life and sobriety.
I am damn happy to be alive and truly blessed by The Big Man Upstairs!
Thats just my 2 cents at the end of Day 1.
My heroin use started in 2011. I would not be one to say that I was hooked from day 1, but I am definitely one to say that I had no interest whatsoever in stopping after day 1. It was a seemingly easy transition that eventually, 2 years later, led me to a 10 - 15 bag a day habit, always smoked, never touched a rig (not that it makes me a better addict by any means, I was scared thats all). At this point in time I came to the apex of my first ever successful detox at home. I had withdrawn in jail 3 different times, only one time all the way through.
This time I was due to turn myself in for a 1.5 year sentence. On the 4th of July 2013, I decided I would quit on my own terms. My WD tools: 8mg strip of Suboxone (1/3 every morning), 1.75 g high grade medical cannabis, as well as the horrifying memories of jail withdrawal. After reading so many terrible stories about Sub addiction online, I knew there was no way I was going to a doctor...any DR you go to will basically make you sign up for atleast 6 months maintenance (aka addiction to some HARDER SHIT). Its as simple as 0.3 of a 8mg strip for the first 3 days and just smoke the hell out. Sub had such a long half life that after day 3 the residual effects should EASE you down for the next couple days. By day 5 you will be right as rain.
Life comes at you fast, so lets fast forward 1.5 years. I relocated, stayed clean this entire time, got a killer corporate job, and my first place ever. You can guess what happened next. I started "chipping" which is another word for slowly fucking yourself in the ass. Dont listen to what anyone says. Eventually it will get you. ESPECIALLY if it has had you before.
During the next 7 months I chipped with no major issues. Then my use slowly went up from once every 2 weeks to 1nce a week and bla bla everyone knows how the monkey rolls. This time I was not a homeless junkie with free time at mom's house. I had a job and rent to pay. So I got to researching and noticed a few people had mentioned counteracting withdrawal with that girl named Chrystal. Shieeet 8( it just so happened that one of the days I was sick a buddy had some while waiting for dope man. Lit up the foil and made EVERYTHING go away instantenously. Now I have never gotten felt any high from crystal. It simply kept me awake. While dope sick it simply took all my symptoms away and made me feel normal. Blew my mind.... Later that night I dabbed out on some hash wax and slept like a baby.
Well now it is 2 days later and Day 1 of "Seriously I am over this shit, time to move on and grow up".
My day started out waking up with the chills. 2 hits of chrystal, 1 beer, 4-5 dabbs, and a giant cup of coffee and I was ready to hit the ground running. At this point I am confident that its nothing I cant handle on my own. Dope man been calling all day: told him to fuck off. So he keeps calling. Oh :how the tables have turned sweetheart! How many times have I called you dope sick and waited hours upon hours for nothing! Enjoy the silence asshole! Additionally, I signed a lease for my new and first ever apartment by myself so that has me feeling super extatic. This recent binge only lasted a month and the withdrawals still suck, but I have far too much to lose to show any weakness.
I am a firm believer in that addiction is not a disease (disorder YES, disease NO!); furthermore - I believe that this kind of thought process allows for excuses. I went to NA for exactly one meeting. The therapist there that night started out with his cliche "Addiction is a disease..." at which point I had to ask a burning question... "Do you believe cancer is a disease?.....oh yes?... Can I wake up and choose to stop having cancer... Like if I just sat it out at home for a few days will the cancer go away?" He could not answer the question and completely ignored me. I got up and walked away from the last meeting I would ever attend. The last thing I want to do is sit there and talk about drugs anyways when I am trying to stay clean.
Guess what guys and girls...its a choice. You cant choose to rid yourself of ANY disease out there. But you can choose life and sobriety.
I am damn happy to be alive and truly blessed by The Big Man Upstairs!
Thats just my 2 cents at the end of Day 1.
Last edited: