Opioids Heroin withdrawal at home detox Day 1

[thevol357]

This is my first ever post... A long time coming. I have been anonymously navigating these forums for many years, mainly looking for detox advice. At this point I have learned enough about myself and the fire I am playing with that I would just like to share some "IMOs" with the general public, which may just now be dabbling with the awesomely-rewarding experience that is heroin (or any opiate) withdrawal.

My heroin use started in 2011. I would not be one to say that I was hooked from day 1, but I am definitely one to say that I had no interest whatsoever in stopping after day 1. It was a seemingly easy transition that eventually, 2 years later, led me to a 10 - 15 bag a day habit, always smoked, never touched a rig (not that it makes me a better addict by any means, I was scared thats all). At this point in time I came to the apex of my first ever successful detox at home. I had withdrawn in jail 3 different times, only one time all the way through.

This time I was due to turn myself in for a 1.5 year sentence. On the 4th of July 2013, I decided I would quit on my own terms. My WD tools: 8mg strip of Suboxone (1/3 every morning), 1.75 g high grade medical cannabis, as well as the horrifying memories of jail withdrawal. After reading so many terrible stories about Sub addiction online, I knew there was no way I was going to a doctor...any DR you go to will basically make you sign up for atleast 6 months maintenance (aka addiction to some HARDER SHIT). Its as simple as 0.3 of a 8mg strip for the first 3 days and just smoke the hell out. Sub had such a long half life that after day 3 the residual effects should EASE you down for the next couple days. By day 5 you will be right as rain.

Life comes at you fast, so lets fast forward 1.5 years. I relocated, stayed clean this entire time, got a killer corporate job, and my first place ever. You can guess what happened next. I started "chipping" which is another word for slowly fucking yourself in the ass. Dont listen to what anyone says. Eventually it will get you. ESPECIALLY if it has had you before.

During the next 7 months I chipped with no major issues. Then my use slowly went up from once every 2 weeks to 1nce a week and bla bla everyone knows how the monkey rolls. This time I was not a homeless junkie with free time at mom's house. I had a job and rent to pay. So I got to researching and noticed a few people had mentioned counteracting withdrawal with that girl named Chrystal. Shieeet 8( it just so happened that one of the days I was sick a buddy had some while waiting for dope man. Lit up the foil and made EVERYTHING go away instantenously. Now I have never gotten felt any high from crystal. It simply kept me awake. While dope sick it simply took all my symptoms away and made me feel normal. Blew my mind.... Later that night I dabbed out on some hash wax and slept like a baby.

Well now it is 2 days later and Day 1 of "Seriously I am over this shit, time to move on and grow up".
My day started out waking up with the chills. 2 hits of chrystal, 1 beer, 4-5 dabbs, and a giant cup of coffee and I was ready to hit the ground running. At this point I am confident that its nothing I cant handle on my own. Dope man been calling all day: told him to fuck off. So he keeps calling. Oh :how the tables have turned sweetheart! How many times have I called you dope sick and waited hours upon hours for nothing! Enjoy the silence asshole! Additionally, I signed a lease for my new and first ever apartment by myself so that has me feeling super extatic. This recent binge only lasted a month and the withdrawals still suck, but I have far too much to lose to show any weakness.

I am a firm believer in that addiction is not a disease (disorder YES, disease NO!); furthermore - I believe that this kind of thought process allows for excuses. I went to NA for exactly one meeting. The therapist there that night started out with his cliche "Addiction is a disease..." at which point I had to ask a burning question... "Do you believe cancer is a disease?.....oh yes?... Can I wake up and choose to stop having cancer... Like if I just sat it out at home for a few days will the cancer go away?" He could not answer the question and completely ignored me. I got up and walked away from the last meeting I would ever attend. The last thing I want to do is sit there and talk about drugs anyways when I am trying to stay clean.

Guess what guys and girls...its a choice. You cant choose to rid yourself of ANY disease out there. But you can choose life and sobriety.

I am damn happy to be alive and truly blessed by The Big Man Upstairs!

Thats just my 2 cents at the end of Day 1.

 

[pill_billy]

I started "chipping" which is another word for slowly fucking yourself in the ass.

counteracting withdrawal with that girl named Chrystal. Shieeet 8(

yea meth is wierd... ive never out right tried it, but i was waiting on some H one night and was hanging out w this girl and someone wanted some crack so i rode along with her to get it and she got a lil something out of it and we get back to her place and she asked if i wanted to take a couple hits (its wierd around here cause no one really does uppers so if by some chance someone ends up with em they have no problem sharring but if its any type of opiate, good luck) sooo i take a couple hits and it made me feel so much better... anyways fast forward a few days and i was going to try and get into a detox facility and i had to go get cleared at the hospital first, i take a piss test and the doc comes in and goes ok you tested positive for weed, heroin, cocaine, and meth... i was like wooo woooo woo meth? and hes like yea and shows me the paper... fast forwards five more hours and they say theres nowhere for me to go so i head home and call her and tell her that i tested positive for meth and that it had to be from the crack, and she didnt know what to say... i wasnt mad or anything i had just never heard of someone mixing that shit with rocks... soo a few days later and she gets some more from someone else and i take a few rips and just feel like im speeding and still WDin soo IMO meth def helps with the WDs but its fucking meth...

any whooo congrats on getting thru your first day... you can always hit the ER up and try and get a clonodine patch that shit takes away a good 90% of WD symptoms...

 

[Euphorogenesis]

First of all, welcome to bluelight. Good to know you kicked your opiate habbit, i had a serious love-affair with fentanyl myself but luckily i wad able to quit that stuff. Addiction is a bitch.

I also don't buy the 'addiction is a disease' spiel. Sure the actual withdrawels may be considered a medical condition and the underlying mental issues related to addictive personalities a 'disorder' but that's as far as i am willing to concede.

 

[AgonyAndEcstasy781]

That's great that you've kicked the opiates, but didn't you just say that you started your day off with smoking crystal meth? And that now you feel lke you've got it under control? Meth is known for creating false confidence.

If you've struggled with addiction in the past, switching from heroin to crystal meth is probably a very bad idea. I've been down that road, it leads nowhere good. It's not surprising that smoking meth makes you feel better.

It sounds like you've experienced some serious consequences as the result of your drug use, as have I. It seems like you understand that chipping opiates will lead back into a pattern of regular use and addiction. Soon enough you'll learn that switching to a different class of drugs is going to lead you back to a very dark place. If you're like me you'll have to learn the hard way.

 

[keeping]

be strong, we're all rooting for you.

 

[DrugOmen]

That's great that you've kicked the opiates, but didn't you just say that you started your day off with smoking crystal meth? And that now you feel lke you've got it under control? Meth is known for creating false confidence.

If you've struggled with addiction in the past, switching from heroin to crystal meth is probably a very bad idea. I've been down that road, it leads nowhere good. It's not surprising that smoking meth makes you feel better.

It sounds like you've experienced some serious consequences as the result of your drug use, as have I. It seems like you understand that chipping opiates will lead back into a pattern of regular use and addiction. Soon enough you'll learn that switching to a different class of drugs is going to lead you back to a very dark place. If you're like me you'll have to learn the hard way.

Very well said. .

 

[thevol357]

Day 2

First of all, thank you for the replies guys. I am not sure if I failed to mention but I hate meth. It does not get me high. I have tried it several times....This particular time I felt so shitty that I decided to give it another go. With that being said, I ran out last night. I slept GREAT, not sure why the fuck.

My withdrawal symptoms are limited to back chills, anxiety, lethargy, and lack of apetite. None of the other symptoms have ever been an issue for me. I tend to focus on the chills as my indicator of how sick I am.... So far today I have dabbing on some awesome wax and that has staved off all withdrawal. I even ate a fat chipotle burrito for lunch with a margarita.

I really dont know what else to say. Life is good

I have absolutely no intention on getting any more crystal, but thank you for your concerns Never been an upper guy and never will be.

Back to the gym tonight. Beast mode shall be re-initiated. I'll be damned if I lose all my gains again lol.

Cheers!

P.S. I have been having to tuck my boners in all day. Haha shit has me rollin'

 

[iDab420]

Wow, congratulations on everything, most importantly stayin off heroin. You have the right mindset to get off that nasty addiction and improve your life. Best wishes to the OP.

 

[Americanfloosie]

You seem very set on getting clean and that is definitely going to help long term. I wasn't ready to quit but kinda had to and still resent it to this day. Good luck with everything and thank you for sharing your story!

 

[thevol357]

Thanks for all the support. I just feel like I have to be honest with myself... I am definitely dope sick. And getting more dope will definitely make me feel better. But where does that lead? Any logical person will tell you thats a stupid idea. And after getting clean for over a year and a half, I am familiar with the benefits of a dope free life. I dipped into the dark rhealm for a few months and I just realize its nothing I want to dabble with.

Time to grow the hell up. At this point its a been there done that sort of deal. Its getting boring. Its the same thing with dope. It never changes.

I see myself going to way better places in life.

 

[thevol357]

Obviously people get into different drugs for different reasons/issues and what have you. But why does no one ever mention people that plain and simple like to get fucked up? No issues to cover up, just simply enjoying a state of mind...

 

[Hemptress]

My main memory of six years on the shit is having to get dope and take just enough to feel "normal" again, you know, how I used to feel FOR THE FREE before I fucked up! Lol I was jumping through all kinds of hoops and bullshit for anything I could get my hands on, but in the end I just decided to keep my dignity after all and walk the fuck on out like a boss! Lol You should try it...the sense of liberation got me high all by itself! Lol It's going to get better. In fact, it's going to get so much better than it was on the dope because the happiness that comes to you will be genuine happiness not an artificial, chemically induced state of complacency! Lol and there's nothing like the real thing, I assure you. I'm happier than I ever was before, or while, I was smacked. seriously, as much as the detox was bad, and it was downright torture around the 4th day...it was worth every single second i spent in hell AND MORE for the chance to be as happy as I am now! You know how you used to do anything for the dope and you were so determined you moved mountains until you scored? Bring that kind of refusal to be denied to the table, and then spin it in your favor and do anything and everything to keep that shit out your life. Ain't nobody got time for that! If you had all the time in the world you STILL wouldn't have time for that! Lol Had I been told at any given point when I was using that I could one day be this happy and free at the same, I would have called them a dreaming fool...and it probably would have pissed me off...I didn't even dare think this would ever happen, but IT DOES EXIST! All you gotta do is reach out and take it! when it gets rough and it certainly will (but not really, ok, just trust me on this! Lol) you just gotta remember all the obstacles you've overcome in your life that were far harder than kicking dope could ever be, and you did it anyways because, you know...you're the fiercest stone cold badass that ever ruled this middle earth lol, and you can do any fucking thing you want to do! hang in there because one day you're gonna wake up and you are going to be soooo glad you took the road less traveled this time, because the view from this one is far more beautiful than it ever was in the fast lane! I don't know about you, but the only things I ever really loved were the things I fought long and hard for. Your day is coming...and it will be here a lot sooner than you probably think right now! Heroin doesn't run this shit, you do! I'm glad that you can see the light out of there. If you can just...instead of scoring more dope, just NOT, instead! Lol it is literally that simple of a waiting game. And once you've been dragging the chains around that cage for years, you will never go back to living that poor mans excuse for a happy life ever again once you get a taste of freedom! Good luck, but you don't need it because I can tell you're gonna make it... because I thought the exact same things you wrote in your first post when I quit for serial and forever....and I'm so very glad you are joining all of us on the other side, who know alll too well how you felt on heroin and EXACTLY how you feel coming off it...and one day soon you will know what life feels like for us out here in the real world after the dope. (Spoiler: it's so much better than you can possibly imagine it could be right now) You will be one of the so very few who couldn't bow down if they tried, and refused to let anything on this earth or the next, ever hold them down for long!...and I hope you never look back, until the day it finally dawns on you (and it will!) that there was never anything there to look at in the first fucking place anyway!

PS...i took subutex before when I kinda wanted to be clean but I mostly wanted to stumble half assed through the rest of my life I think. No one ever does anything but that on "maintenance". Lol I wouldn't have been ok with that shit on any level if I wasn't...24mgs a day for a year! :/ Huge mistake. If you decide to go that route because you are addicted to heroin and can't stand that detox....you will wish to god you were coming off heroin when you're about three months deep into a sub detox with no sign of it ever letting up to be found! And you'd have done been feeling better a long fucking time ago kicking heroin or oxy or opana or any of the good shit with a short duration...and they're ALL shorter than subs or dones! If suboxone was as quick to shake as heroin how would the dope doctors ever make any money? Do you think it is just a coincidence they picked the two opioids with the longest most brutal withdrawals (suboxone, methadone) to "help" us get "sober" on?! Hahahaha hell fuckin no! You're nothing but a monthly large cash payment for as long as they can keep you sprung. No one ever made any money helping people move the fuck on with their lives until they didn't need them anymore, now did they?! That mans paycheck depends on him keeping you in the cycle of addiction for as long as he can get away with it or he kills you whichever comes first...all the while he is exploiting your addiction for his own monetary gain as hard as he can at every turn... in the name of healthcare! Huge fucked up racket, is the "maintenance" drug pushing scheme. Don't bite. He is no better, but I'd argue that he's quite possibly worse, than the Vice Lord on the corner slinging tar. Lol I laugh but I'm dead serious.

 

[thevol357]

Thank you so very kindly for your input!

 

[thevol357]

DAY 3

With day 3 coming to a close, I am confident the worst is over. With that being said: IS THAT THE BEST YOU'VE GOT!! This shit as a breeze and I am not saying it in a condensending tone. I am saying this in the hopes of raising awareness about withdrawal.... YES it sucks...it really really sucks....but in the grand scheme of things, it is merely a blip on the radar of time, if even....

I stopped Monday night around this time and here we are on Thursday with the weekend coming up and I am just about to my normal self again.
As much I wanted to, I could not take my ass to the gym last night. But the DESIRE to go is very much there and soon it will overpower the lethargy. I know what I want and I am going to get it.

Anyone out there feeling hopeless should realize the path they are walking has been walked SO MANY DAMN TIMES! And more often than not, those that make it out remain quiet and stay the hell away. The statistics are set up to scare a person into the "comfort of addiction"... What I am saying is that those that get clean and stay clean tend to STAY THE FUCK AWAY even from threads like these. Do not trust the stats, for many of us suffer in silence.

"So you are telling me 9/10 people relapse and this is a never ending disease...fuck it!".... You combine that with the notion of an addict not having much to live for, and you have a dangerous person. At the end of the day EVERYONE will have to find their own way. Their own solution.... That which keeps me stable may not do the same for you. That is the beauty of life...

We all take different paths that ultimately lead to the same destination....

What will your path be? Where do you want to go?

The greatest battles ever will be fought within your own mind!

 

[manboychef]

Hey man it isnt the withdrawals that get people to relapse. It is the belief that other drugs can be substituted.

 

[thevol357]

Hey man it isnt the withdrawals that get people to relapse. It is the belief that other drugs can be substituted.

I ask myself: Can this guy possibly be so naive as to actually believe what he just said? So you honestly think that the trigger of relapse psychomechanics is simply "the belief that other drugs can be substituted"? So that is the reason everyone relapses huh? lol

 

[thevol357]

Day 4

I had an amazing Friday. I have close to $900 in my pocket and no thoughts of using at all. My motivation has returned 10 fold. I am hitting the ground running. If there is one positive to dope addiction, its when you come out of it. You become superhuman. Its like my brain has been running on unleaded and I just put rocket fuel in it.

Nothing else to say.

God bless!

 

[thevol357]

Day 5:

I dont think I could have planned this process better It is now Saturday and I am at home just relaxing my butt off. No work, nothing to get done. Fridge full of food and brews... and I got some more dabs last night. This weekend is fantastic so far. By Monday I will be on day 7. This is just so exciting. I knew I would make it through but to talk the talk is one thing. But to walk the walk is a whole another. I have developed a certain swagger from this experience.... people can tell something is different about me in a positive way. I "shine" is probably the best way to describe it. The days and colors look bright and deep again. Its funny because when you first start opiates, that's kind of what they do. But over time, you realize that the exact opposite is what your body needs and craves. Dope man called for a couple days then gave up. I have not heard from him in about 3 days. The little prick must have finally gotten the hint. NO PERSON and NO SUBSTANCE will ever get the pleasure of controlling me. I am a human being damnit! My life has meaning!

 

[wezface]

Definitely go check out the Sober Living subforum. You can keep a log of your progress and talk to other people who are going through it and who have been through it and have plenty of advice. Good luck to you!

 

[thevol357]

Day 7:

Clean as a whistle. Reality is brighter. I am moving on with my life. Good luck to everyone on here and God bless!