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Heroin user in Middletown, CT trying to get clean

R

Rakastan

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 8, 2014
Messages
14
Hello! I just registered before jumping into the recovery sub-forum. I wanted to be able to comment right away if something caught my eye. I'm a 35 year old female from Connecticut. I had 15 years clean. Last week I picked up the dope habit again. I want to stop it before it gets out of control, though I'm also remembering how much I loved the addiction, so I'm really torn. I mostly want to quit though, and stay clean, so I'm trying to figure out a program that will work for me. I've never thought highly if the NA/AA model.
 
ComfortablyNumb95 said:
Hi and welcome to Bluelight :)
if it's been only a week you should just stop while you're in time.
you've been able to do this for 15 years so I'm sure it can't be that hard.

cheers and good luck :)
Click to expand...

THanks. There's a lot going on in my life - I posted a bit more detail in another thread. Basically I'm looking for relapse prevention type help. I'm facing the end of my life - realistically it will be a miracle if I live another 2-3 years. I'm not quite ready to give up yet. But it's a struggle, and I need addiction therapy or support. It'd be easy to stop getting high right now. The issue I have is seeing the point, even though i know I should.

Anyway, thanks to everyone for the welcomes. I have enjoyed reading these forums for a long time. It's nice to finally be a member.
 
Welcome to BL!!!

I'm sorry to hear about that. I hope you can stop while you can and don't let it be too bad but mabye you could do a suboxone taper if it gets out if hand again cause i know how us opiate addicts can end up in the same hopeless pit of despair we were in previously very fast no matter how much sober time we have.
Good luck let me know if you need any help and have fun.
These will give you some insight on how the site is run and the rules so you wont get any infractions on the forums-

Green lighters(newbies) guide-
http://wiki.bluelight.org/index.php/Greenlighters_guide

Bluelight user agreement-

http://wiki.bluelight.org/index.php/...reement_(BLUA)


If you want some help getting around the site or a buddy to talk to then you can always message me Im on the list of people willing to adopt you can find the link if you want to be adopted by me or another experienced member here-

Nmi adoption program-

http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/...Program-v-2014

Here are some drug forums you may like-

Other drugs-
http://www.bluelight.org/vb/forums/58-Other-Drugs

Basic drug discussion-
http://www.bluelight.org/vb/forums/1...rug-Discussion

Sober living-
http://www.bluelight.org/vb/forums/269-Sober-Living

Good luck don't be afraid to ask for help that's what I'm here for
 
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Sorry about what you are going through and I hope you can get help to stop again. 15 years is a long time clean.
Good luck.
 
Hello and welcome to bluelight,

I hope you find information here to help get you back on track, and I'm sure you will.

You made it 15 years, don't let this one slip up get you down. You will be fine. Just try to do whatever you can to stop now.… CT is getting bad (I'm from there and still visit) and I couldn't imagine you wanting to be apart of that. Shit, everywhere is getting bad with it sadly :\

Wish you the best :)
 
^ what everyone else said! If u made it 15 years u sure as hell can do it again!

Someone on this thread that posted something as if it was a piece of cake. That being said we understand just how hard it is and are here for you no matter what!
 
ComfortablyNumb95 said:
Hi and welcome to Bluelight :)
if it's been only a week you should just stop while you're in time.
you've been able to do this for 15 years so I'm sure it can't be that hard.

cheers and good luck :)
Click to expand...

This here. I understand your status and I'm not underestimating your knowledge but to me this just sounded a TEENY bit .... Idk I can't think of the word honestly lol. Its just that I had about 4 months clean earlier this year (not NEARLY as long as the OP I know know! Just hear me out) and I had used for 2 days. I stopped. I wasn't sick or anything but once its back in your system I think its rather difficult to "just stop" wouldn't you say?

Idk maybe I have no idea what I'm talking about. Which I don't and I should probably repost when I have 15 years under my belt lol but I just think to say "im sure it can't be that hard" when talking about addiction is a little ignorant? That seems too harsh of a word. Idk. Just appreciate how hard it is a little bit more okay CN95?

Much love<3
 
I spent time in the hospital this week with an infection, and my doctor came to visit me every day. We talked about all the problems I've had the past two years, and how my habit of ignoring things makes relapse so much more likely. He has referred me to a program so I can learn better coping skills. I think that is something I would need even if I didn't have addiction problems, because it's not a healthy way to live. So I think it's turning out fairly well.

Honestly, stopping isn't easy at all. I was clean for 15 years, yes. And some of those years were easy enough that I was almost convinced I wasn't an addict anymore. But the craving was always there. And now that I've started, I remember how the drug makes me feel so much better. I don't want to lose the feeling I get when I use, but I know I have to. So I've requested a prescription for Naloxone, which will help me avoid temptation while I take care of everything else. I'm circling the drain, but I haven't gone down just yet, and I don't intend to either.

And yes, CT has gotten really bad. It is amazing how much the drug has taken hold. It just didn't exist here when I was growing up. I'm heading down to Florida in August, and from what I've heard, pills are the thing down there. I've never loved pills, and they are so expensive anyway. So I think spending 4 or 5 months there is going to be good for me.
 
xstayfadedx said:
Hello and welcome to bluelight,

I hope you find information here to help get you back on track, and I'm sure you will.

You made it 15 years, don't let this one slip up get you down. You will be fine. Just try to do whatever you can to stop now.… CT is getting bad (I'm from there and still visit) and I couldn't imagine you wanting to be apart of that. Shit, everywhere is getting bad with it sadly :\

Wish you the best :)
Click to expand...

I think we are going to start seeing stories about heroin in New England soon. Just like we were bombarded for years with stories of meth in the Midwest. It has just exploded, and it's taking a lot of really young people down with it. I don't know why it's happening, but it's depressing.
 
I am going to move this from NMI to SL. there's a lot of support in that forum for wanting to get clean :)
 
Hey and congratulations on fifteen years clean.. thats amazing and great work!! You are likely having a little bit of a second honey moon with the drug.. you already know that wont last. In a short time you will find yourself needing to use just to feal half as good as you do right now. It will swallow your emotions, make you itchy and sick. Your anxiety will climb through the roof. Your sex drive and experiences will disappear. Your life will just become a never ending chore.. so please pull that rip cord now<3


Here is a good alternative to the fellowships.. it can also be used in conjunction with them.

SMART Recovery (Support Group information and discussion)

After so much time what do you think lead up to this relapse?

@Courtney

Here are some great medications to aid in detox

medications for acute opiate detox

The medications I would explore the use of for detox would be:
>Clonidine< DOSED EVER FOUR HOURS..

one of either
>NEURONTIN< >HERE< >HERE<
OR >Lyrica<
OR >phenibut<

>A BENZO BUT JUST AT NIGHT<
>a nsaid<
>melatonin<
tylenol
Senokot S is a stool softener and laxative. If you do not want the laxative you can go for strait stool softenerDioctyl sodium sulfosuccinate.

(Opi Withdrawal) what is the best comfort meds for opiate w/d?

Your Personal Opiate Withdrawal Arsenal


You should consider making your own thread C833. This may be a place you can find wisdom and support for getting clean.

Here are some good threads you two may both want to check out..

June Getting and/or Staying Sober Thread
July Getting/Staying Sober Thread vs Birds of a Feather
Good things about being off drugs/getting sober
 
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