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Heroin/Opioid Thread - Serious Discussion Only

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^^
That sneezing thing is very common. I usually only get it in early withdrawal. Congrats on 1 month off opiates.



I haven't done opiates in 4 days. Even though in the last month and a half I have been more sober than on opiates. I went on a 3 day binge last week. The cravings are starting to decrease. I have been actually going to work. My sleep cycle is also getting better.
 
Wow..I had 4 30 mg roxys everyday for 3 months.. Then guess what,no more connects. So I luck up and get 20 percs 10mg each and gobble those up in basically 2 days...Today is my first day with nothing...close to 24 hrs now and I feel like shit...Literally...To the point I miss the constipation . I hate cold sweats.. No way will I go through this again.. I hope Im done..I don't have any connects here in atlanta so I guess Im done...Almost forgot to ask , how long will this last?
 
QuasiStoned said:
I've been off opiates for a while now, 30 days (which is really long by my standards). I've noticed though lately that I sneeze CONSTANTLY, like 3 or 4 times per day and sometimes twice in quick succession. I NEVER sneezed while I was using poppy tea, though I often noticed this effect near the end of my withdrawal cycle when I would stop. I thought this was something that would go away but it's been pretty consistent, maybe I just have allergies or something. It's really only gotten bad the last week or so though which is odd.

I still can't believe it, 1 month clean. I don't crave poppy tea constantly and I NEVER dream about it anymore. While I was in active addiction my dreams would often revolve around using it. Goes to show how much of an impact these drugs have on us if even our dreams revolve around it. I do occasionally entertain the idea of relapse but I think that's normal. I guess that I'm lucky I don't have any way of getting other opiates or I might have fucked up by now.
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wow, yeah..i thought i was the only one that sneezed when wd'ing...except i sneeze like 5 times in a row through out the day until i get atleast a few balloons...good to know i'm not the only one and it's a normal symptom.
 
I still get the sneezing fits at 5 weeks off of sub. I can't even remeber the last time I sneezed when I was using opiates. Now I get 3/5 sneezes in a row a couple times a day. I'm not complaing though, overall I feel pretty good.
 
/\ Theres a big difference in the "feat" depending whether or not it was done with or w/out sub.

I understand sub removes most junky behavoirs but the brain is still completely hijacked on opiates and I think the general goal should be to get off sub at some point too as well.

With all due respect I'm sure Captains brain does not respond to stimuli even close to the way a brain w/out opiates would. I believe one can be motivated on sub, and productive, and live a normal life. But I still think the goal should be independence off opiates for good. Endorphins are what allows us to enjoy life and as long as there is always some opiate in your receptors they will always be unstable and off balance imo.

I'm kinda curious what provoked you captain to stay on sub for as long as you have. Do you ever plan on getting off sub I am rather curious now about this. I've read your lifestory and I think its great the leaps and bounds you've made, but you are really more a "Captain S" now than a "Captain H" no? I love sub and think its a wonderful drug but you genuinely seem to have devoted your entire life to it and that does worry me a tad about the idea of ever getting off it.

Or have you accepted pretty much the idea of being a lifer with sub? Or maybe just another few years? I personally never seem to be able to remain happy on ANY opiate full or partial agonist. They all seem to take over your brain at some point and start thinking for you. Not to mention I don't believe you can enjoy life the way a human was truely meant to untill your off them all for good.
 
drug_wench said:
the pharmacist said thats pretty normal - that for most ppl methadone doesnt truly hold them for 24hrs until the first couple of weeks hav passed
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Hey DW, have you thought of trying Suboxone (buprenorphine) as it will take your cravings away and the doctor will keep putting your dose up until you are comfortable. I have talked to lots of people who had massive heroin/oxy addictions with experience of both methadone and Suboxone, and they all say the same thing about the sub: "hey that stuff is pretty damn good, didn't leave me hanging like methadone, and much easier to taper down with."

Then again I'm not sure if they have it in NZ?

Also what does "triggering" mean in reference to this thread's rules?

- Genome.
 
flacky said:
Looks like we all have some father problems up in here.
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Yep that was a big contributing factor to my addiction as well. I have a well-to-do doctor "father" but he never actually genuinely played that role. Most of the time I just saw him as an alcoholic, sometimes physically abusive, monster who had never said a kind word to me in my whole life (literally). He apparantly thought the best way to "help" get me off opiates was to insult me and remind me of how much of a failure I was to him.

I once heard a statistic in a documentary where they said males who have fathers who are never there for them when they are young for whatever reason, have a 10x higher suicide rate. That was something I acheived and came to the door of death 3 times, but by the grace of God somehow survived, even ending up on life support from deliberate OD.

Now I'm out living at college again so I don't feel too down about it anymore.
 
The unoriginal (can't help it!) 'why?' is a habit I must stop just because I end up in bad places when I do it and it comes down to I am still alive and do I wish to be (or do I? it changes but usually it is the former heh) - well, without the gamble of the existence of other dimensions, I still here and though feel I have already achieved the highest productions (meaning I doubt I could top them - especially in the present state) I still have an intense desire (somewhere deep inside there) to top that. Thus assuming this is all there is (for going for something else is nice and all but we just don't know) I WANT TO KICK ALL THESE FAKE stimulations and produce just one more awesome mind blowing achievement just running on my own chemicals. This is the dream. Or fuck it all and be done with the whole 'thing' you know?

Almost one week H clean with possible legal hassles approaching but I gotta claw, smash, gnash and achieve it.

On e more production; just one more: only my natural chemicals fueling it: the goal; the dream and God deliver me from these annoying 'rule' (which have a dubious history anyway and even more so are the powers that wish to maintain them in our present day and age) problems steadily coming on.

Joseph
 
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Joseph K. said:
Almost one week H clean with possible legal hassles approaching but I gotta claw, smash, gnash and achieve it.
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That was so freak'in hard - just gotta say...it never gets easier does it....plus as the time line travels more stuff adds to it plus that fiddicult task so you have that one plus plus plus plus and you have no choice but to just grit your teeth, flex and go through it....not like you are special or anything but simply because you have to.

The job is just beginning I know but that first week (plusplusplus) is hard.

I am tired but happy to be feeling so much better and stronger.

Thanks.

Joseph
 
Dr.Genome said:
I once heard a statistic in a documentary where they said males who have fathers who are never there for them when they are young for whatever reason, have a 10x higher suicide rate. That was something I acheived and came to the door of death 3 times, but by the grace of God somehow survived, even ending up on life support from deliberate OD.
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I have/had a so called dad who was never really there for me at all when i was growing up. Other then to supply cash and the like we never had a relationship at all and he was never home at all. I always told people that as far as i was concerned i never had a dad growing up. It doesent bother me now except for the fact that until i get out of this house which will be soon or ill go even crazier i have to listen to the complete fucking bullshit he throws at me and my mom. If anything goes wrong at all it's never his fault it's either mine or my moms. He always was a crooked old cunt and we never saw eye to eye at all but as of late he's gotten worse.

I don't think he's had much if any influence on my drug usage except when i take more morphine or whatever opiate in order to block out his stupid shit. Theres only so much racist, homophobic, ignorant overall bullshit that you can listen to and argue with until you say fuck it give me a syringe full of morphine or dilaudid :!
 
Im currently on MMT after more or less self medicating with opiates for the last 7 years or so. My only problem is without the heroin all i get is crushing lows , trapped alone in my house at least when on the H i had the highs. my question is does anyone else feel worse now that they have stopped their "real" opiate use and does anyone else plan their suicide "by opiate". I.V. heroin has allways been my ideal way to end my life as its painless, quick and very reliable. ive even gone as far to store some for the day ,when my willpower overcomes my fear of dying. anyway i wonder how many reported opiate i.v. overdoses are actually suicide ,in the general addict population? I plan on leaving notes but how many others do?
 
The crushing lows do truly suck. But they are just temporary while your suffering from PAWS. Wanting to kill yourself is something I just can't understand. There are always better options, and mor than a handful of reasons to live. So things suck right now, that never means your life can't or won't improve tenfold. If your struggling right now spend the time to get some help/relief. You may have some chemical imbalances that could be easily treated.
 
I used to talk about suicide as an option with opiates, but deep down it was all talk and not something that I could have done. Having spent 5 weeks clean it seems ridiculous that I even talked about it at one point. I mean things aren't wonderful since I've gotten clean, my ass still seems to be dragging some of the time and there are a lot of aspects of my life that could be better, but I've learned to deal without taking in large quantities of opiates.

On an unrelated note, I got really drunk last night for the 3rd time since I quit poppy tea. While drunk, I felt pretty good but I feel like I am hyper-sensitive to the hangover effect. I can remember when I first started drinking I could get so wasted and suffer little hangover the next day. Today I woke up after exactly 6 hours of sleep and had a headache and sensitivity to light. It also seemed to bring back opiate withdrawal symptoms!! I was lying in bed yawning/stretching, my eyes tearing and nose running. It reminds me of when I would drink in withdrawal, I would usually feel a bit better but once the alcohol wore off the combo of a hangover + withdrawal was overbearing and very uncomfortable. I had to drink a cup of coffee and take some ibuprofen today just to get rid of this headache.

I read last night that alcohol has an effect on endorphins, seemingly causing an increase in them while drunk. I swear to god though that I had a rebound effect this morning from that, I mean I'm still healing from my addiction and am very sensitive to any changes in the endorphin system and I would swear that I had an increase in restlessness and mild withdrawal symptoms this morning. Weird huh?
 
Yeah I believe it. Your brain is still healing, so there's no doubt it's going to be super sensitive to the effets of drinking. I read that the longer you off the faster the brain starts repairing it's on endorphin prodution, makes sense to me. Your doing awesome Quasi, you should be proud.
 
Bojangles69 said:
/\ Theres a big difference in the "feat" depending whether or not it was done with or w/out sub.

I understand sub removes most junky behavoirs but the brain is still completely hijacked on opiates and I think the general goal should be to get off sub at some point too as well.

With all due respect I'm sure Captains brain does not respond to stimuli even close to the way a brain w/out opiates would. I believe one can be motivated on sub, and productive, and live a normal life. But I still think the goal should be independence off opiates for good. Endorphins are what allows us to enjoy life and as long as there is always some opiate in your receptors they will always be unstable and off balance imo.

I'm kinda curious what provoked you captain to stay on sub for as long as you have. Do you ever plan on getting off sub I am rather curious now about this. I've read your lifestory and I think its great the leaps and bounds you've made, but you are really more a "Captain S" now than a "Captain H" no? I love sub and think its a wonderful drug but you genuinely seem to have devoted your entire life to it and that does worry me a tad about the idea of ever getting off it.

Or have you accepted pretty much the idea of being a lifer with sub? Or maybe just another few years? I personally never seem to be able to remain happy on ANY opiate full or partial agonist. They all seem to take over your brain at some point and start thinking for you. Not to mention I don't believe you can enjoy life the way a human was truely meant to untill your off them all for good.
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I don't think there is anything wrong with being on some sort of maintenance plan for an extended period of time, even for life. As long as it keeps the person off of heroin that's all that matters, atleast that's what I think. I'm on methadone right now and my family is all on me about getting off asap but I know as soon as i do i'll be right back to where I was so who knows, Captain may not be able to sustain sobriety w/o subs. I mean being completely free of all substances would probably be what everyone hopes to achieve but for some people, including myself, that's probably not gonna happen. And Captain you're doing a phenomenal job...I can't seem to get past 2 months without relapsing even with 130mg's of methadone so you must be doing something right!
 
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