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Heroin/Opioid Thread - Serious Discussion Only

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^ I can't tell you how vital therapy has been for me in staying clean this last year dude. But, you have to find a therapist that you click with...and sometimes that's the hardest part.

Don't let one bad apple ruin the bunch for you. Before I found the therapist that I've been seeing weekly now for nearly about a year and a half, I first went to this one guy that I was told "specializes in recovering addicts".

Apparently what that really meant was that he was some crazy balls to the wall hardcore 12 step/AA dude (who DID NOT have a license to practice therapy), and the first thing he says to me when I walk in to his office is that if I don't start going to meetings every day I'm as good as dead 8) Any therapist with any ounce of actual training would know that's not the way you approach a patient. I promptly left his office and continued my search for a good therapist till I found the one I'm seeing now.

Anyway, I guess my point is that everyone is different and when you find one you like, you'll know it off the bat. But you have to keep at it, for me it's been a crucial part of staying away from dope :)
 
relapsed.


I'm full of self-hatred and loathing...moreso than usual.

At the same time, my best friend ask me to throw them out with her, and I just couldn't.
 
I had 2 years clean going to NA. I do not see why people are so against on here. It works if you work it. As soon as I stopped going and thinking I could run my own life I am back in the grip of this insidious disease.

I rarely see clean people bashing it, only using ones. I wish I had the ability to take a break to go to rehab or a detox, I have to find a way to maintain my bills and addiciton at the same time. I would go to rehab and make as many mettings as my schedule allowed if I could get clean. I am in a visious cycle. Need drugs to function, need to function to buy drugs and pay my bills. I would give anything to have one of those black multiple years clean key tags again.
I hope I do not have to lose it all to get there but I can't see getting help without losing my apartment and car, but the flip side of that is I may lose the apartment and car if I do not take the time to get clean. This is a shitty life.
 
That's life xxkcxx nothing you can really do about it. Beating yourself up only makes it worse.

peace.
seedless
 
I know what you mean lozgod. That pretty much sums up the predicament we often find ourselves in. May I suggest a quick 7 day or less detox at a hospital they make you somewhat comfortable and will also help you find meetings and connect you with other services. This can be done on vacation time or maybe you caught the flu if keeping your job is a big concern.
 
crimsonjunk said:
I know what you mean lozgod. That pretty much sums up the predicament we often find ourselves in. May I suggest a quick 7 day or less detox at a hospital they make you somewhat comfortable and will also help you find meetings and connect you with other services. This can be done on vacation time or maybe you caught the flu if keeping your job is a big concern.
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I thought of that. I used my vacation for the year, not to say I couldn't ask for an unpaid one.

As far as getting the flu, you know the opiate addict life. They must think I have the weakest immune system in the world as much as I have had to call out due to being ill. I already claimed to have the swine flu in January. You are right though. I need to take the time to detox. Realistically I could get some bills ahead long enough to do it. I just need to real desire. I have it when I am hi or sick due to lack of funds but when it is possible to get hi the disease calls me. Honestly I know it will take a bottom to make that decision. I hate to say that but it is the truth. Maybe I need to stop complaining so much until I make the decision to get clean. I don't hate being hi. I hate not being hi.
 
xxkcxx said:
relapsed.


I'm full of self-hatred and loathing...moreso than usual.

At the same time, my best friend ask me to throw them out with her, and I just couldn't.
Click to expand...

hey pls dont b hard on yourself.boom u relapsed so wut. just look at it like u took a vacation for a day. you know very wel wut will happen if you dont stop now.
stay safe n good luck
 
Just found this thread. Been reading and posting more in the 'Other Drugs' section recently in a way it is having a negative effect on my goal of achieving abstinence. New potentiator methods, etc. bring on my cravings. Just like hanging around with users in the real world when trying to get clean would have a negative affect.

So, anyway, I've been using heroin for too long now and want off of it. I used to be able to kick it just like that. I would go home to my parents house for a week, complain about it being too cold and return to London opiate free. Since then and after a year and half on MMT I haven't been able to get 'opiate free since'.

I became focused on getting off methadone and switching to a short acting opiate in the mean time (DHC/Heroin) to get the methadone out of my system, and had it in my head that I could just 'turkey it' as it would only be a few days, as opposed to weeks when coming off methadone. I managed to do it and felt confident I could handle the w/d's. So I finished off what I had and attempted cold turkey...

I failed. I made it 34 hours. So since then I've been trying to slowly taper down my usage, for the first time ever. Beforehand my usage was so random that it must have messed up my tolerance no end. There would be days of constant use, then nothing, then a little bit, then loads, then nothing again, etc. So I figured if I bought a large amount of heroin, split it into decreasing doses and then stopped using at a low point that would be my best bet. I gave my mum everything and she has been dishing it out to me.

I've got down to 40mg 4x a day and tomorow will be 35mg 4x a day. Then on Saturday, the dreaded 'turkeying' begins. I've got Lofexidine and will hopefully have some benzos tomorow. So I am reasnobly confident I can tackle this. I am considering going to the hospital on Saturday evening and saying I am going cold turkey from an alcohol addiction with the potential of being given a bed/librium. So wish me luck!

Anyway, my major reason for posting in this thread, was just to introduce myself really and give a little background info. For so long now I have self medicated ith heroin and other opiates that my emotions have been locked away, so I am very anxious of them coming back all at once. So I predict myself to be hanging around this part of the forum more so in the near future!

Cheers, Oli
 
^ You gave your mom heroin to dish out to you on a daily basis?

Damn, that's....unusual, heh. Not something you hear everyday.

Anyway, good luck man. Using your drug of choice to taper with is all but impossible in my opinion, but you sound dedicated and serious about it and that's the most important part :)

And yea, back when I was using I was a regular of the Other Drugs and Drug Culture forums, but since quitting dope a little over a year ago I find it to be in my best interest to avoid those forums completely. I start to get wrapped up in all those potentiating, purifying and junkie lifestyle threads and next thing I know I'm craving hardcore.

The Dark Side is a better place to be if your looking to get and stay clean ;)
 
This girl I know that likes heroin hasn't done any in a month, but she seems intent on relapsing.

It's so close to everything that happened, that I feel I could lump it together in the same bit of using and not feel too bad about relapsing. Plus, I did use mothers day weekend in 2008 and 2009, so I kind of have a tradition to live up to.

Additionally, she has her own connects and they are by far the cheapest (but still good dope). It's in a different city is why, but the prices are literally 3 times less expensive. So, it's not like I'd be spending that much money either....you see where I'm going with this?!?!?! 8o 8) :p :|
 
I honestly felt so shitty on the dope. I still feel shitty. I didn't even do a whole bag, and I still have 6 left. I'm getting rid of the rest I think because I just don't want it.
 
xxkcxx said:
I honestly felt so shitty on the dope. I still feel shitty. I didn't even do a whole bag, and I still have 6 left. I'm getting rid of the rest I think because I just don't want it.
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That "shitty" feeling is EXACTLY what I feel on the first use after a long time off. But beware...that "shittiness" creeps up on you...
 
Carl Landrover said:
This girl I know that likes heroin hasn't done any in a month, but she seems intent on relapsing.

It's so close to everything that happened, that I feel I could lump it together in the same bit of using and not feel too bad about relapsing. Plus, I did use mothers day weekend in 2008 and 2009, so I kind of have a tradition to live up to.

Additionally, she has her own connects and they are by far the cheapest (but still good dope). It's in a different city is why, but the prices are literally 3 times less expensive. So, it's not like I'd be spending that much money either....you see where I'm going with this?!?!?! 8o 8) :p :|
Click to expand...

Decided to talk to my mom (just in general). She knows what I look and sound like when high, so that would have made getting high a lot trickier since she would be able to tell and I'd have to hide it.

I also ate something since I noticed being tired and being hungry can add to cravings.

Finally, I just turned off my cell phone.

I think I'll be ok for tonight. :)
 
extended Seroquel

I’m confused. I need some advice about heroin withdrawal using Seroquel. I’ve been an addict for about 3 years, and went cold turkey 5 months ago. I didn’t read anything about it first, and like a naive dumbass, I thought, “How bad can it be?” After 20 days with no more than 15 minutes sleep a night, I relapsed. I just couldn’t take the lack of sleep. The best I could get in my little town (I live outside the states) was Ambien, and acupuncture with Chinese herbs., It didn’t touch the insomnia at all.
I’m going to detox with medical help now (at home alone), but am having second thoughts about my doctor’s competence. She’s prescribed a course of Seroquel 100 mg before bed the 1st nite followed by 200 mg. per night for 7 days. 5mg Valium in the am and 10 mg in the pm, with Claritin for runny nose, also for 7 days. nothing for diarrhea. Then back to her office after the one week detox, for a complete drug test, and to start the next phase which will be 9 months of Seroquel, tapered off at the end. I asked why the extended Seroquel treatment and she said that was the best way for my brain chemistry to return to normal. That the seroquel will fill the receptors which the heroin leaves open and I will not experience the depression and other emotional problems which come after detox. Also, she said the W/D symptoms would be minor with this detox program.
I’ve been reading archived posts on this and other sites, and there is a wide variance of opinion on the usefulness and dosage regarding Seroquel. Has anyone had experience with a detox and extended treatment that is similar to this one? Does 200 mg Seroquel at night during detox make sense to anyone? I took 100 mg last nite as a test, since I couldn’t start detox till today, and it hit me like a truck. . This morning I was swimming in an underwater fog and had zero random thoughts (Zombified) till about 10 or 11 am.
Tomorrow I’ll start detox, and repeat the 100 mg Seroquel. What’s going to happen the next night, when it’s upped to 200 mg? Has anyone had a detox on 200 mg./nite Seroquel and 15mg. /day valium that really was milder than cold turkey?
Another question I have is about extended release Tramadol 100 mg. I have 10 of them. I read in a post that it’s an opioid, and can help in the detox . There seems to be a differing of opinion there too. I guess if I use the tramadol, I’ll fail the drug test for opioids. Is that also true of lomotil?
Please say a prayer for me.
Confused
 
speakin of tramadol... with access to tramadol, vicodin or codeine promethazine syrup.. sizzurp. i prefer tramadol weird ? i dunno but like 6 months, first few 2 times a week (250-300mg). last 2 months every other day 400mg tramadol single dosei like dosing em smoking a bowl n' chill then when the weed wears off i can feel the tramadol kick in and unlike the sizzurp or vicodin that shit lasts well into the next day for me, i won't really sleep well but its comfortable just layin there listening to music n' like every other snap out of reach for a bowl put some music on repeat whatever. time to quit, after today ;p fuckin will lead to nowhere its been fun. toodles =d

also i had a dream about drank(codeine/prometh) last night, in it i found two bottles tho none were full in my dream i thought of fillin it with OJ to get what was off the sides of thebottle. fuckin dreams about drugs then wake up fiendin arghhhh
 
She’s prescribed a course of Seroquel 100 mg before bed the 1st nite followed by 200 mg. per night for 7 days. 5mg Valium in the am and 10 mg in the pm, with Claritin for runny nose, also for 7 days. nothing for diarrhea. Then back to her office after the one week detox, for a complete drug test, and to start the next phase which will be 9 months of Seroquel, tapered off at the end.

I asked why the extended Seroquel treatment and she said that was the best way for my brain chemistry to return to normal. That the seroquel will fill the receptors which the heroin leaves open and I will not experience the depression and other emotional problems which come after detox. Also, she said the W/D symptoms would be minor with this detox program.
Click to expand...

Sounds like you might get some help from the meds. IMO the best detox meds are clonidine, benzos, immodium, and sleepers [if stomach problems are real bad maybe something like compazine]. I dont think I would agree with your doctor that extended Seroquel treatment is the best way for your brain chemistry to return to normal, but I am not a doctor. The best way is complete abstinence that allows your brain to reset and naturally get better.

I am pretty anti anti-depressants and anti-psychotics, they are WAY over used. If I comment frankly about what I think I would say the doc is planning on making money from return visits. Hey what ever works though. Seroquel definitely knocks me during opiate w/d but 100mg is a big dose to start at. It can definitely help but I would get way to lethargic from that med, 25-50mgs would knock me out.

peace.
seedless
 
just want to send my love to everyone suffering through this shitty drug.also want to say dont lose hope! kicking dope out of your life is hard but not impossible,i managed after 10 long years of hardcore addiction.if anyone is trying to kick right now try and get a hold of tramadol,for me it worked better than subs and there is no cross addiction with other opiates,try a 10 day detox with trams and benzos....good luck and much love......e.......
 
Suboxone has been working wonders for me. After trying to taper off H several times, I would always relapse eventually. Before subs I thought I was essentially hopeless and would either be spending the rest of my life on dope or be constantly craving it and not leading a full life.

I've been on subs for a month and a half now, at 24mg a day, which I know is a high dose, but I was doing about 3g of good tar daily before, so my tolerance was very high. The best part about subs is you get used to living life sober. Once you get used to being sober quitting opiates altogether will be a lot easier in my opinion.

I have relapsed twice. Interestingly enough these relapses only strengthened my resolve to stay on subs and eventually live an opiate free life, as I didn't really catch a high from either of these relapses and only wound up wasting my cash- which is essentially what I was doing before subs.

If you don't think tapering/cold turkey will work for you, I highly recommend subs, it's the lesser evil and for me a vital process to integrating myself back into a healthy lifestyle.
 
I told my doc about my relapse and she says I am not depressed, just an addict and she wants me to go off all my meds.




.... 8)
 
What did she recommend for treating addiction induced depression? Because I could use some :)

Just about 2 months [I think clean from opiates] and about a month clean from benzos. I am FINALLY starting to feel a little better. Although I have been extremely lazy for the last month and I mean lazy. I have been sleeping till like 2pm, not eating right, not exercising, and beating myself up over how I am not where I want to be.

Its strange that I know what I think I need to do to feel better but I dont do it. The drugs are gone but I am not really making an effort to change 'me' and how I function. Like ok time to grow up and get a job finish school, etc. Truthfully a job is a daunting thing for me and it shouldn't be but my resume and history is well pretty blank. Sigh. Things are pretty good other than that though but it seems like I just focus on the negatives which makes me say oh well not today...

Feeling and looking ALOT better though so that is good.

peace.
seedless
 
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