Heroin/Opioid Thread - Serious Discussion Only

[Vladimir777]

I will admit, the rush gets exponentially better when you are sick and you do a shot and go from that miserable hole into blissful clouds within a couple seconds. In one sense I cherished opiate highs more when my access wasn't good and I did painkillers occasionally. Every high was special to me. When I got addicted to heroin, every single day is the same. But also, once you get physically hooked, the rush is that much better when you wake up every morning sick and do that morning shot and everything in the world suddenly looks alright and makes sense. I always looked forward to morning shots.

 

[riddla420]

Wow. Reading all these posts reminds me of everything I have been through. I think I always thought I was missing out on something amazing by never trying Heroin.As a Guitarist ,I always thought that the most Amazing albums and songs were all written by the magical garden of inspiration ,provided by Heroin use. My best Friend Died from an OD in May of 2004 ,and I am still in mourning.I became hooked on OXYCONTIN ,in 2005 ,and I only snorted Heroin ,when I could not obtain Oxy's. I guess I never really felt the True High of Heroin, Because I have never felt true euphoria. I did ,Fall in love with the smell and taste of Heroin ,and I could even smell it in my pee when I took a wiz.But Now I am all alone ,with just my wife and kids. I do not go out anymore ,I had to lose all my best friends (They all use) and I really don't leave the house ,except for work and family stuff (Grocery ) .I am still on long term Subutex therapy. 8mg a day. And I am feeling pretty good. I have not used in over 15 months. I am sorry if I perked up anyone's cravings ,I just have no one to discuss my Drug use with.

 

[Dopamine_Cowboy]

^You've come to the right place. There are lots of good people here who have gone through or are going through similar situations

 

[riddla420]

Thanks Bro. It really is hard core Going through what we have been through. No one ,could ever understand how we feel ,except our fellow Brothers.

 

[cire113]

Its my lucky day!!! Tomm0row i get to goto inpatient rehabilitation for the 8th time!!!


Im actually ready to face myself again..

Fuck opiates and this bull shit... wish me luck

Its gonna be such a god dam trip when i realize what im like sober... i dont even remember..

Im glad i finally asked for help and admitted i was fucked

 

[bagochina]

Sounds like a step in the right direction cire. Hopefully this time will be the one! Good luck

Peace,
Seedless

 

[Hendrix Haze15]

Its my lucky day!!! Tomm0row i get to goto inpatient rehabilitation for the 8th time!!!


Im actually ready to face myself again..

Fuck opiates and this bull shit... wish me luck

Its gonna be such a god dam trip when i realize what im like sober... i dont even remember..

Im glad i finally asked for help and admitted i was fucked

yes fuck the opiate life. I'm done for good now. I've been chipping once or twice a week for the past year or so since I got out of rehab while on suboxone maintenance and I am so sick of the ups and downs and withdrawals from the transitional period from dope to subs and throwing myself into precipitated withdrawals and just everything. I mean its a whole lot better than being completely consumed by heroin addiction like I used to be, but I just want to kick and be off everything. I'm so sick of needing something just to get out of bed every fucking morning.

 

[mikeb882]

congrats to everyone who has been clean for any amount of time. I have 3 months off heroin. problem is i see myself relapsing everyday, slowing building my network of people where i moved to include people who are up to no good, but none of them use heroin. problem is i can see heroin available to me in the future just because of my association with them and i know i just won't be able to pass it up when its on the table.... shit

 

[dizzychainsaw]

Can addiction to Percocets and MS Contin be included in this thread?

 

[mikeb882]

sex is definitely better, when people say heroin is better I have to come to the conclusion that they have had some really shitty sex. but, heroin is a different animal, it's very alienating but in a good way. it makes everything seem better for a while, but eventually it will ruin you, damn shame, but sex ruins people too, look at tiger woods

 

[Lifeandtimes]

Its my lucky day!!! Tomm0row i get to goto inpatient rehabilitation for the 8th time!!!


Im actually ready to face myself again..

Fuck opiates and this bull shit... wish me luck

Its gonna be such a god dam trip when i realize what im like sober... i dont even remember..

Im glad i finally asked for help and admitted i was fucked

dude im so happy for you. Your a soldier!!!!! the world is yours to conquer when you come out. Be positive and never look back. And always pray to God

 

[Vladimir777]

congrats to everyone who has been clean for any amount of time. I have 3 months off heroin. problem is i see myself relapsing everyday, slowing building my network of people where i moved to include people who are up to no good, but none of them use heroin. problem is i can see heroin available to me in the future just because of my association with them and i know i just won't be able to pass it up when its on the table.... shit

Personally, around the 2-3 month period is when I have always relapsed. I didn't think about dope as much during the first few months--maybe I was still haunted by memories of relapse--but around that time period it got increasingly hard and my thoughts would drift more and more towards drugs. I'm not sure what to do. You really have to set up an interest or a hobby or a lifestyle decision where you can't do heroin. Having something there to take up your interest and keep your thoughts from drifting continuously back to heroin is essential. Do you have any friends who aren't into drugs? That might help. Telling your friends you had a drug problem and you're trying to quit also helps. It builds up a network of positive friends that you don't want to let down. That is basically what I did after last time I relapsed. Although it doesn't help that the last time I relapsed, my one friend did some heroin with me and now that's continuously all he wants or talks about. He just doesn't know how to get it. It's not very good for me to be around him, but I mean he's in the circle of friends I have, and almost all of them are very positive influences on me--happy, successful, ambitious, etc.

But please don't let your thoughts slip back into the easy way of thinking, the slippery slope of relapse.

 

[t3h_ghost]

It's hard for me to argue you that because I'm sure you are speaking from personal experience, but all I can say is I will be forcing myself (already committed lots of money) to take that vivitrol shot again. The reason I can use in between is because the shot wears off after 30 days, and I have a couple days between shots to use. Once I get the shot though it will block all opiates, so that should stop me from fully relapsing. But othewise I completely agree with you.

I just received my 3rd shot of vivitrol and trust me you won't be able to use between shots. I even had my 2nd shot 1 week late and even almost 40 days after my shot (night before the next one) I barely felt a 1/4 gram IV and that usually would be a good dose for me.

The gap between 2nd and 3rd shot was even worse because the more time you've spent getting the shot the more of a blocking effect it has. This time I was only able to use twice until day 35 where I received my 3rd shot and I felt NOTHING, total waste of money. Vivitrol is a commitment and you can't expect to use inbetween shots.

 

[myfriendemo]

The sheer fact that addiction is a disease makes me so upset that this supposed free country is not doing more to help our society's zombies get out of the cycle.

There is that post saying that Congress lifted the ban on needle funding. That is an important step in the right direction, but society treats junkies worse than animals.

The worst attributes of a person come out when they are withdrawing; stealing, lying, irritibility, wandering off, choosing drugs over food. We as a society can easily say "well these assholes don't deserve shit they did it to themselves." This is the farthest thing from a constructive viewpoint and anyone who does not consider the vulnerabilities of humans and society is at the LEAST ignorant - but more than likely is not interested in making ALL people's lives better.

We all share the same earth folks.
-Ryan

"I closed the book, angry with myself that I should still be admiring earthly things who might long ago have learned from even the pagan philosophers that nothing is wonderful but the soul, which, when great itself, finds nothing great outside itself." - Francesco Petrarch

 

[Georgie25]

I agree, once you are addicted it's not a matter of choice anymore, it's a matter of NEEDING it to survive, just as you need food and water to survive.

 

[xxkcxx]

Just wanted to share this...


I've been off heroin for 10 months now.


In two weeks, I have to take public transit out to Chicago to go to my aftercare program.

I was lying in bed yesterday think about how I have money and could go pick up a few bags. Immediately, however, I also started thinking about how I would have to take several extra buses (in the cold) and have to be on foot when I walk into the neighborhood, which is totally undesirable, and I was like "screw that. Too much work."

After I said that to myself, I was shocked because I've went to way greater and crazier lengths to get high. I mean, this would be probably the easiest it had been in a long time cause I wouldn't have to scheme to get money or a ride.

I was shocked at how my logical thinking had returned. I mean, 10 months ago, heck even less than that cause my first few months of sobriety I was still thinking crazy, this would not even be a question, and yet, here I am saying it was too much work.


I'm pretty grateful for that

 

[ocean]

^This is so awesome KC
Think of all the awesome, useful things you can buy with that money!!
Clothes, girly good smelling thing, save it for a trip somewhere.....anything you'd like!

 

[DarkSkys]

2 months clean off of Oxy, 3 weeks since a full pill of 40s.

Let me ask you guys something, to all the people who are off and have been clean.

If the heroin or (insert opiate) was offer to you for free and was RIGHT in your face. Would you do it?

There one thing to travel far distance to get, or coming up with the money, but what if it was right there in your face?


I'm sad to say that I would totally snort a line if it was push in my face. I start out patient rehab next friday. I'm scared how hook I am.

 

[ocean]

^I think that feeling tempted is totally natural.
Most people, especially the first while aftr putting an addiction behind you- you feel that desire.....even when you really want to quit! But you just have to fight it!
Don't feel so discouraged- You can do this!

I hope that rehab makes things a little easier for you.

Keep your head up!

 

[Carl Landrover]

Just wanted to share this...


I've been off heroin for 10 months now.


In two weeks, I have to take public transit out to Chicago to go to my aftercare program.

I was lying in bed yesterday think about how I have money and could go pick up a few bags. Immediately, however, I also started thinking about how I would have to take several extra buses (in the cold) and have to be on foot when I walk into the neighborhood, which is totally undesirable, and I was like "screw that. Too much work."

After I said that to myself, I was shocked because I've went to way greater and crazier lengths to get high. I mean, this would be probably the easiest it had been in a long time cause I wouldn't have to scheme to get money or a ride.

I was shocked at how my logical thinking had returned. I mean, 10 months ago, heck even less than that cause my first few months of sobriety I was still thinking crazy, this would not even be a question, and yet, here I am saying it was too much work.


I'm pretty grateful for that

That's awesome! Congrats!


I remember you posting with a gist of "you can't imagine your life without dope". Definitely welcoming to see positive progression.



Since my first time doing heroin, the longest time I had away from it was just shy of 18 months, except I was using suboxone for 14 of those 18 months. I hope to one day be back where you're at.