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Heroin/Opioid Thread - Serious Discussion Only

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Is adderal a smart thing to take during dope withdrawal? Will it help at all during the day or only complicate matters?
 
^It'll give you energy and motivation, even eliminate some of the w/d symptoms (aches and pains), and best of all it gets rid of the depression accompanying withdrawal.

HOWEVER...

coming down off of Adderall (any stimulant for that matter) while you're withdrawaling from dope is a recipe for suicide, trust me.

For that reason alone, I would never do it again. But that's just my experience, other people say different. I'm a bitch when it comes to stimulant comedowns, I can't stand them by themselves let alone when I'm coming down and having to deal with the soul-crushing despair of heroin w/d. Ugh, just thinking about it again makes my skin crawl...
 
I tried adderall once on like day 2 and it made me feel much worse, mainly just got a lot more feverish hot flashes and every time it hurt bad, like i was burning. Withdrawal totally messes with your blood pressure, amphetamines screw with it even more. But thats just me, I generally dislike speed and coke anyway, maybe if you enjoy it then it helps.
 
I am highly addicted to heroin, and have only done it a few times, it started off at oxy, but after I did heroin just once...Thats all I think about every second of every day, I will google image pictures, I will search BL for heroin topics, I can't get it out of my head. I fear for when my connect gets out of jail(July 20th)
 
eon_blue said:
^^awesome, great to hear man. It's always good to see that you've bumped this thread with some good news :)

I haven't been keeping track day for day, but I'm at a few months clean from h now. I can relate to the kind of subtle cravings that tend to sneak up you. I've been getting the same thing lately, just minor "euphoric recalls" related to copping, preparation, the rush, etc. Which worries me a little because history has shown me that that's usually where it begins; a small craving somehow ends up snowballing into a full blown relapse :\

I've been doing good though to remember what happened after my relapse last time, everything I lost and how much it sucked to have to go through withdrawals again...putting it in perspective works.

Things still good with the g/f?

Keep it up man :) I'm sure I don't need to tell you how much better it is to not have to be constantly paranoid about "when is it all going to come crashing down on me", you know? That god awful feeling of impending doom you get when you're in the middle of a run :( Definitely do not miss that shit...
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Been missin' it a little lately, but there's so much bullshit that goes along with it, that I don't miss at all. I worked a lot last week, majority of it being fairly physical, so I think some of the cravings were just a desire to relax after work and to feel like I was doing something other than working. Today is day 50.

Things are pretty good with my girlfriend. I feel like we've gotten even closer through this whole thing. She's been really great and really supportive since she first found out. Still amazes me how awesome she's been. <3 =D She worries about me quite a bit and is a little suspicious from time to time, but unlike my parents, I can actually talk to her about the subject. It's been real nice having someone IRL to talk to about all this.

How things going with you? You still talking to the girl?
 
hey guys, im new to the dark side. Lemme take you guys down my lane. I started with smoking pot, graduated to sniffing oxys then got my degree in sniffing dope. I lied, stole from, and cheated everyone i knew to get my shit right. I pretty much never missed a day from it. These last few days have been a wild ride. I ended up in the pysch ward in wilmington hospital after i tried to hang myself, i straight bedded the heroin addiction there, then made my way live in a halfway house in philly. I have now been completely drug free for 22 days, and this shit feels wild. I have emotions i never knew about, colors seem brighter, and every day my clarity i was numbing seems to come back a little more. Call me what you will, but straight up that dope takes you for a wild ride sometime. Where im at now, they sell all up and down the block. Not to give my location away like that, but for all you philly cats, im staying between 20th and 29th street off of lehigh ave. Im in the fucking hood, and i came from the burbs of delaware. I fucked up........ Oh well, ill pee clean for a while, get out of here, get a job, and drink a beer every once and a while. I cant wait for my 3 month stay to be up. Pray for me people.
 
Been 3 weeks clean, and while i dont "need" or have the desperation of WDs prompting my desire for dope. I still feel a nasty craving for it, dspite the heartache and grief it causes my family, if they hadnt have my bank card i'd have scored by now, as i realise i can no control myself.
 
I haven't gotten high in almost a week and actually feel really proud about it...once that literal blueish/greyish field of vision goes away, it gets easier and easier. An ex-bl mod I know has been clean for over 1.5years now. He's been through it all. He told me that if I thought I felt good now, just wait for 3 months (90 days) to roll around.

I'll throw a tip out there...stay fucking active! Even if you're in so much physical and mental pain to go anywhere, fucking walk all around your house, room, wtfever..don't just lay on your bed...you'll be surprised how fast the time goes by if you just keep looking for something else to do..no matter how pointless it seems
 
Hey guys!:)

Well I hate to admit it but I fell off the wagon today.Got some really good dope,and I am very high right now.This is the best shit I've had in ages!Definately worth the money,but I do feel kinda guilty about fuckin up my sobriety!

I'm still on suboxone but since my doctor is a fuckin prick and is pretty much forcing me into either inpatient or outpatient to be able to continue to be on his sub program(cuz I pissed dirty for opiates about 2 months ago).I absolutely do not want to do outpatient,simply because I've been almost 7 months sober with only two minor relapses(used a few bags on ONE day,no continued daily use)and while I see his concern and understand his obligations to me as his patient,I just don't want to do it.My parents are bitching about how much money they've already spent,but also I want to start spending more time lookin for a job and tryin to get on my feet financially.I have no job,no car,no money,and I'm living with my parents at the moment.I just really need to get back on my feet again and if I do this outpatient thing that means I have to spend 3-4 days a week taking buses to this place AND not to mention the treatment center just so convieniently/inconviently is a few blocks away from where I used to score heroin.So between the outpatient and still goin to my doctor once a week,I won't be able to really commit to any kind of schedule when I do finally find a job ya know? So,this past weekend I finally decided to start tapering off my suboxone and just keep going to NA/AA meetings for my probation.

Is this a good or bad thing? I don't know.I honestly have mixed feelings about it...concidering I have relapsed several times even while on suboxone.But I'm just sick of my doctor and of bein on sub.Yeah,it helped me change my life and transition me into living a more stable life without heroin and runnin around gettin into trouble,but I just feel its time to get off of it.

Anyways,just my two cents on opiates for today!Hope you all are doin well!

CARL-It's so good to see you are doing well honey!:)
 
there's no teory or treatment that can save you for your own sick desire. it's completly irrational to use a substance that will bring you cravings, fuck your brains and pain. Why do we relapse? maybe we are just fool's, running downhill or we just can't deny the power of drugs...
I'm trying to get sober from an alcohol, xanax and cocaine habbit, and it's beeing fucking difficult. :(
 
Miss Hollywood said:
Hey guys!:)

Well I hate to admit it but I fell off the wagon today.Got some really good dope,and I am very high right now.This is the best shit I've had in ages!Definately worth the money,but I do feel kinda guilty about fuckin up my sobriety!

I'm still on suboxone but since my doctor is a fuckin prick and is pretty much forcing me into either inpatient or outpatient to be able to continue to be on his sub program(cuz I pissed dirty for opiates about 2 months ago).I absolutely do not want to do outpatient,simply because I've been almost 7 months sober with only two minor relapses(used a few bags on ONE day,no continued daily use)and while I see his concern and understand his obligations to me as his patient,I just don't want to do it.My parents are bitching about how much money they've already spent,but also I want to start spending more time lookin for a job and tryin to get on my feet financially.I have no job,no car,no money,and I'm living with my parents at the moment.I just really need to get back on my feet again and if I do this outpatient thing that means I have to spend 3-4 days a week taking buses to this place AND not to mention the treatment center just so convieniently/inconviently is a few blocks away from where I used to score heroin.So between the outpatient and still goin to my doctor once a week,I won't be able to really commit to any kind of schedule when I do finally find a job ya know? So,this past weekend I finally decided to start tapering off my suboxone and just keep going to NA/AA meetings for my probation.

Is this a good or bad thing? I don't know.I honestly have mixed feelings about it...concidering I have relapsed several times even while on suboxone.But I'm just sick of my doctor and of bein on sub.Yeah,it helped me change my life and transition me into living a more stable life without heroin and runnin around gettin into trouble,but I just feel its time to get off of it.

Anyways,just my two cents on opiates for today!Hope you all are doin well!

CARL-It's so good to see you are doing well honey!:)
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Straight up, im in a halfway house, and this shit sucks balls, but im doing it, and its working, there is no such thing as good dope/
 
I can relate to all these posters . after having been off shooting heroin now for almost a year - I still have these massive cravings for it. Well for any opiates at all. Lately I've been able to occasionally get a hold of some 10mg methadones and sometimes some 10mg percocets which make me feel good if I take at least 4 of them. (sigh) I think I'm always gonna crave the needle and the morphine. I used to live in Miami and damn was it easy as hell to score good smack down there. way too easy. wish me luck in keeping away from it. I do so love and miss the rush of shooting up.
 
Lately everytime i use heroin the only feelings i get are aggitation/irritated/angry...nothing fun at all.
 
Georgie25 said:
Lately everytime i use heroin the only feelings i get are aggitation/irritated/angry...nothing fun at all.
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i definitely don't want anything to interrupt or disrupt my bliss. so i tend to get pretty ill if someone/something fucks up my headspace when I've got a nice opiate dream space going on in my head...
 
Georgie25 said:
Lately everytime i use heroin the only feelings i get are aggitation/irritated/angry...nothing fun at all.
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Before I stopped, that was happening to me most times that I used.

Also was feeling guilty and depressed from doing it.


Today is day 55 =D
 
That's awesome Carl, I mean not awesome you felt that way, awesome that you are clean.

Personally I never got to heroin (was a roxi and OC addict) but I know its a hard life to live, clean or not
 
Carl Landrover said:
Been missin' it a little lately, but there's so much bullshit that goes along with it, that I don't miss at all. I worked a lot last week, majority of it being fairly physical, so I think some of the cravings were just a desire to relax after work and to feel like I was doing something other than working. Today is day 50.

Things are pretty good with my girlfriend. I feel like we've gotten even closer through this whole thing. She's been really great and really supportive since she first found out. Still amazes me how awesome she's been. <3 =D She worries about me quite a bit and is a little suspicious from time to time, but unlike my parents, I can actually talk to her about the subject. It's been real nice having someone IRL to talk to about all this.

How things going with you? You still talking to the girl?
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Good to hear man :) So you're at nearly 2 months now right? Keep it dude!

As for me and the girl, we still talk however she went on a month long vacation out of the country about a week ago and we haven't really communicated much since. It's been sorta weird, I really feel like I'm letting go of her and before I would have been afraid of that happening, but now that it is happening I'm actually ok with it.

I've been goin out more often with friends and have actually begun to realize that being single isn't all that bad. I do really miss her at times, especially when things get rough, but overall I'm in a good place. Thanks for asking :)

oh and dope free for nearly 3 months now :D seriously, fuck heroin. I was such a miserable piece of shit when I was on it. I don't know what it is but I've been in this trippy head space lately where I've been putting into perspective just how much of a crappy person I was when I was using, and it really makes me appreciate being off that junk.

I think it has something to do with last weekend in particular, I rolled at this huge music festival (my first time really rolling...hope its ok to post about that in here) and the experience really changed me. I can't really explain it, but it gave me this perspective where I truly understood for the first time how shitty of a person I become when I'm strung out on drugs that serve only hedonistic purpose (ie: heroin) and force me to close myself off to everyone and everything around me.

I guess that's the best way I can put it, but that really pales in comparison to the experience I had.Thinking about shooting dope now just seems...pointless. Completely pointless. Anyway, I'm not naive enough to think that this "moment of clarity" is anything other than a fleeting experience, but I'm hoping that by appreciating it while I can, maybe I can retain enough of it to keep me going for a long time.
 
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eon_blue, congrats on your time and your experiences, definitely sounds like you're doing a lot better off the H :)

tylerwashere, that sucks that you relapsed. But good you want to stop before it gets more out of control. I also live in South FL, I'm personally near the Palm Beach County/Broward border... anyway good luck to you and your girl, I can imagine you will feel a little sick but not much, I mean it depends on a LOT of different factors but you can hang in there :) Good luck.
 
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