Heroin/Opioid Thread - Serious Discussion Only

[Sick Boy]

I have considered getting on the methadone, but if my Dr will not give it to me then I dont want it. I could not imagine going to a clinic everyday day. From my understanding the Dr's need a special license to treat addiction with methadone, and another DEA# to go th it. It is probably hard to find a Dr to give you enough methadone to get you through the month. I guess if you wanted to get clean bad enough you would do whatever is necessary.

 

[Sick Boy]

Ya i was a alcoholic way before i was addicted to opiates and it is way too easy to replace alcohol with opiates. I generally don't crave alcohol much at all (usually) when im on opiates plus i find opiates sort of block the alcohol high.

I would argue that alcoholism is worse then a opiate addiction but still it's not a good replacement.

Bofore I hurt my back I was addicted to cocain, I was put on vicodin and eventually percocet, since then I have been clean from the addiction of cocain, I dont even crave it. I will admit I am dependent on the percocet but I am not robbing people and being a total piece of shit. I am in college and having a life.

 

[eon_blue]

I have considered getting on the methadone, but if my Dr will not give it to me then I dont want it. I could not imagine going to a clinic everyday day. From my understanding the Dr's need a special license to treat addiction with methadone, and another DEA# to go th it. It is probably hard to find a Dr to give you enough methadone to get you through the month. I guess if you wanted to get clean bad enough you would do whatever is necessary.

I had no idea Dr.'s could prescribe methadone for addiction, I thought it was for pain management only....weird.

I doubt any Dr. would either because it's too easy to get high on Methadone; giving an addict a script for it would be like handing them a bottle of oxy's....you could just go out and use them all up within a few days. At least, that's how they would probably look at it.

Have you tried Suboxone? Like someone else posted above, apparently its going generic in July and will be considerably cheaper.

 

[thugpassion]

Suboxone is going generic in july!!!! Thank god - that sit is crazy expesive - i don't know how they expect addicts to pay for it.

No shit!!! I dont believe it. Do you have any thing to back that up, or did you just hesr it some whare?

 

[drug_wench]

i think sick boy said he hurt his back and takes percocet (im not in US so excuse my ignorance but is that oxy/paracetamol?) therefore he probly goes to a pain doctor....am i right sick boy?
if so, methadone is sposed to b one of the best opioids used in pain treatment

however saying that, methadone shud b a last resort IMO, wen it comes to pain management.....or addiction
its the hardest opioid, after all, to get off

so, firstly, sick boy - wats ur reason for wanting to go on methadone? for pain management or to get off percocets?

if its for pain management u might want to explore some opioids that r stronger than percocets (which, from my understanding, rnt particularly strong....5mg oxy or something?) and make methadone ur last choice if none of the others r working
how bad is ur injury? it sounds like if ur leading a functional life on these percocets then u probly dont need something as strong as methadone

if its to get off percocets that ur using for recreational use, how big is ur habit and how long hav u used them? also, do u chronically relapse?
it is easier to maintain on/wean off suboxone so why not try that first? (tho beware if u suffer any mental illness particularly dopamine-related disorders wen taking suboxone)
also there r other options u shud explore before any form of maintenance if its ur first time kicking a habit, or if uve never tried them before - after detoxing of course (with the help of suboxone is best and ideally in a medical detox if u hav a heavy habit)
u cud do rehab, intensive drug counselling or a 12-step program for example

methadone is something i consider a 'wen all else fails' drug, cos usually u r on it for a long time and wen its time to come off....its not a lot of fun - its like elongated heroin withdrawal if u were to go CT!
there r 2 types of ppl who really shud consider methadone treatment (after all else fails) - long-term heavy users of strong opioids.......or chronic relapsers that use ridiculous amounts of strong opioids wen we do relapse, therefore putting ourselves at severe risk (i fit into this category - im a glutton for heroin even tho ive only used off and on for 4yrs.....but ive tried evrything else before hesitantly entering MMT)

eon is right - it is easy to get 'high' on methadone tho its not really a 'high' as such
theres no rush or euphoria, u just feel drowsy if u take a higher dose than ur sposed to take
i hav seen ppl at the clinic on the nod - therefore u can b on the program and still easily get away with abusing ur methadone
u hav to really want to b well to go thru MMT and not b tempted to abuse it - i mean evry 4 days ur asked if u want ur dose put up (and its not like they check u over to see if ur taking too much or anything).....in NZ anyway

also on methadone u still look like a junkie - it gives u those awful dark circles under ur eyes, pinpoint pupils and leathery skin (plus ur teeth indirectly as i mentioned in another post, get fucked up)
it also generally makes u feel 'cloudy' all the time (even if u dont abuse it)
suboxone doesnt cause any of these side effects
if i cud take suboxone i wud.....but i cant

pain management is a whole diffrent story but i doubt ur doctor wud jump from giving u percocet to giving u methadone

btw frankie gee - ur first post about the first shot in the morning (describing the feeling of warmth) cud hav bn triggering to some ppl
it wasnt to me and i see it as pretty borderline but lets try not to glamourise the feeling of heroin in any way (or any other opioid) - we all know how gd it feels but were all trying to fight temptation or we wudnt b here
see the OP for rules about this thread
and if anyone was triggered by that post dont b frightened to say so and ill remove it (even if its just the bit about the 'spread of warmth' etc) even if u contact me by PM

im not telling u off, just reminding u of the rules to keep all of us safe
thanks

 

[claire22]

I had no idea Dr.'s could prescribe methadone for addiction, I thought it was for pain management only....weird.

.

It's usually a toss up between methadone and sub's over here. A doctor will generally give you a choice. It's not a good option and takes forever to get off - on subs you cannot get high off heroin which is a major plus which methadone does not share! But it's not for everyone I guess... My father was on the methadone program a few times back in the 80's & 90's (in failed attempts to quit) and he just abused it pretty much.

 

[drug_wench]

yep, suboxone is best - but like i say it sure isnt for evryone
if u start to suffer from manic depressive-type symptoms or hav to frequently put ur dose up (both happened to me) suboxone is not for u

not evryone abuses methadone - i sure as hell dont, and if u really want to get clean then dont kid urself by going on methadone then abusing it......this IMO doesnt make u clean
i think its wrong of places like NA to say ur not clean cos ur on methadone but i think u sure rnt clean if u take it to get 'high' (why ud do that fuck knows, cos its not much of a high - i hav tried booting it in the past and it was a shit feeling really)

wen i take methadone i feel completely normal for 4hrs then hav a window of maybe 10mins where i feel minorly sedated....then i go back to feeling normal (tho it makes me talk too much)

btw u can abuse suboxone too - ive seen ppl lie about the size of their habits and go on 32mg or so and actually get high on suboxone.....

i might add, it takes exactly the same amoount of time (roughly) for methadone and suboxone to leave ur body - suboxones just smoother to get off and has a ceiling dose (32mg) while u can take ur methadone dose up way past 200mg, hence why it wud appear that it takes longer to get off methadone
its not like that for evryone tho - if ur on a low dose of methadone it wud take about the same time to kick

im not endorsing methadone - suboxone is ideally better cos, as claire said, u will go into precipitated wd if u touch any opioids but methadone isnt quite the devil its made out to b if u respect it and honestly want to use it to stabilise on as low a dose as poss and kick other drugs

 

[jigsawpuzzlepiece]

I've never been on maintenance, but during withdrawals I have used methadone and suboxone successfully to feel normal. Granted my (heroin) habit wasn't that big, but 2mg or even 1mg of suboxone was plenty to feel normal for ~16-24 hours. Methadone made me feel "normal" too but a slightly better than normal normal... like kinda like I was high. But that could be because I took too much - 30-35mg of methadone.

Both have their pros and cons... methadone you can still taper off of it, it just is a much slower process than tapering from subs. So I think methadone is better maintenance drug and subs are a better detox/taper drug. Though suboxone blocks immediately and that is one of its best features, somebody who is properly acquainted with their methadone maintenance program (like they've been on the right dose for a month or so) won't be able to get high unless they use a substantial (not to mention dangerous) amount of drugs to do so which just isn't cost effective.

Either way you have to be committed to stopping, but us modern addicts I think are lucky to have the choice between two different drugs to help us quit our DOC.

 

[Miss Hollywood]

Hey everyone! I'm back!

Sorry my internet wasn't working for a few days, so I couldnt get on here to update you guys!

Thanks again for all of your advice and kind words! I swear, sometimes I love my bluelight family more than my own!

Everything went fine at probation, and I wasn't tested...YET. They just made me sign some paperwork and gave me my "A.A. sheet" to get signed every week.Blah! lol from what i've heard 9/10 times they tell you they are gonna "randomly drug test you" but they usually don't, its just a way of scaring you straight.But I'm still not gonna risk it. I am not smoking anymore. I was scared shitless before going to probation.

Anyways, I hope you all are doing well!

Hiya drug_wench, jigsaw,and eon!

FRANKIE GEE- Thanks for sharing your experience with us! Man, that sucks you had to do 90 days! Did you do the full 90 or were you just sentenced 90?Cuz I know a lot of the time they dont make you do the full term,depending on where you live. They just simply dont have enough room for petty weed/drug offenses in jail ya know?

Love you guys!

PS. And no, I still haven't relapsed!

 

[Carl Landrover]

I think I was serious about making my last time, my last time (knock on wood), err or at least for the time being.


I was running 2 nights ago and I was thinking about how if I can just lower my suboxone dose a little more I could be off it again. If I stop taking adderall this week and am able to cut down my pot usage, I could be completely clean in another few weeks. That hasn't happened since September 2003.

I posted in another thread about something similar. It's just weird to me that I could actually do that in a few weeks, and be comfortable.

 

[5staR]

Well im about a year into suboxone therpy but only about a month of the reall inpatient and i cant complain, i was doing my own re-hab (copin subs off the street) before i decided to sighn up for this expensive shiet. But its threpy sessions, groups once a week and my meds from the doc. not the go in and get ur pills and leave thing which is good because this is my first real go at "sobriety" other than incarceration i need some real advice on this shit i have ben a iv heroin user for 5 years until i moved away from home. Now in treatment for opiate and benzos i still struggle with the benzos there like a new drug for me so its gonna be hard droping doses with that i knoe any advice would be great. im the self medicated type of person so its easy to relapse for me in a way. alrit thanks peace

 

[jigsawpuzzlepiece]

Hey everyone! I'm back!

Sorry my internet wasn't working for a few days, so I couldnt get on here to update you guys!

Thanks again for all of your advice and kind words! I swear, sometimes I love my bluelight family more than my own!

Everything went fine at probation, and I wasn't tested...YET. They just made me sign some paperwork and gave me my "A.A. sheet" to get signed every week.Blah! lol from what i've heard 9/10 times they tell you they are gonna "randomly drug test you" but they usually don't, its just a way of scaring you straight.But I'm still not gonna risk it. I am not smoking anymore. I was scared shitless before going to probation.

Anyways, I hope you all are doing well!

Hiya drug_wench, jigsaw,and eon!

FRANKIE GEE- Thanks for sharing your experience with us! Man, that sucks you had to do 90 days! Did you do the full 90 or were you just sentenced 90?Cuz I know a lot of the time they dont make you do the full term,depending on where you live. They just simply dont have enough room for petty weed/drug offenses in jail ya know?

Love you guys!

PS. And no, I still haven't relapsed!

Hey there glad to hear everything went well in court, and that everything is going well with you! No smoking, no relapse, that is great progress and you sound a lot happier in your post here than you were a few weeks ago heh a lot more smilies to go around this time.

Its always good to see people doing well here in the ol TDS heroin thread, it gives me hope. I fucked up last week but I am back on track now to staying clean. Doing a methadone taper/detox of my own concoction now, taking about 15mg a day, going to just take 10mg next time I feel w/ds and then so forth. Well that is my plan at least. Haven't had much luck with cold turkey recently and right now I have some obligations in my life I just can't be sick for a week but I also can't be high all week either so the methadone is a good medium for me atm. Hoping to move all the way off opiates soon, then focus on quitting my auxiliary addiction - marijuana. Not looking forward to that one.

edit: just to clarify no I'm not on mdone officially, don't want to be on a maintenance program. but my friend is and he gets the 40mg wafers and can smuggle them out of his clinic. when I told him I was going to kick for good he hooked me up with his dose one day (2 40mg wafers) cause he is on that shit steady and can apparently skip a day without feeling too horrible and said it would help me a lot and boy has it! Still have enouh left to taper off without feeling too shitty I'm hoping. fingers crossed, we'll find out in afew days

 

[bow-viper1]

I've been so depressed about my financial situation lately - specifically as it relates to my medication. Last Wednesday, I got my last six 8mg tablets filled. That means that by Monday, I'll be out again. I don't have the money to make another doctor's appointment, and even if my doctor will call in a refill, I doubt he will give me anymore than a couple of tablets.

I've been trying so hard to get a job, and plan on applying at a few more places tomorrow, but I also think that even if I do get those jobs, it won't be in time to come up with the money for another doctor's appointment.

I think I'm going to call the closest Methadone clinic tomorrow and try to find out how much it costs. The problem with that is, the closest clinic is like 35 minutes away, which is a lot of gas.

It just sucks. I feel like I just count down the days when my medication gets low - it is always on my mind.

 

[Carl Landrover]

Can you try tapering down a bit to stretch it out longer? At 48mg, if you drop down to 6mg a day, it'll last you 2 extra days. Or maybe you can try to just drop down to 4mg? It'll double how long you have them for, maybe long enough to get a job?

It'll be a little uncomfortable, but much less comfortable than if you go from 8mg -> 0.


Have you discussed your financial situation with your doctor? He went fill your script for more than a week at a time?

 

[Frankie_Gee]

thanks man, your the best i love your post and your a kool ass person! i was hoping you would respond to my post!

I only have enough money for like 4 bags so its not gonna be a huge binge or anything. i just wanna get a few bags and get it out of my system. i miss the needle a lot. sometimes i get the urge to just shoot water just so i can see that blood again. us junkies have a blood fixation i think

Without a steady sourse of income i couldnt afford a habit. I've used a couple times within the 4 months of sobriety, and it was like a one nite thing. Never went and copped again. I just have so much anxiety and cave in and use every month or so.

No matter how hard we think our lives are, I can relate to everything you are saying ok. I been through 6 mental hospitals, 5 rehabs and jail 8 times all before I even turned 30. I been through hell and back, if i can do it then so can you dear, i have faith in you, in time you will get clean.

 

[Carl Landrover]

I think I was serious about making my last time, my last time (knock on wood), err or at least for the time being.

Guess not.

I'm no longer going to post about myself if I'm making any progress.


I used to notice a similar trend when I would mention things about running. I'd say, "I've been running well lately" or "I've been running a lot lately", then I'd get injured or just real busy and wouldn't run at all for 2 weeks or something.

Well, it's the same for dope. I say I'm doing good and then that's when I do bad. Maybe it has something to do with acknowledging success? Not sure.



Alls I know is that a relapse makes me happy for about 30 minutes. Then there's a variety of other feelings including, but not limited to: shame, guilt, sadness, anger, disappointment, fear, anxiety, and some others I'm forgetting.

Right now I'm scared because I feel like I honestly can't get away. Sometimes I can make it up to 2 weeks, but then I crack again. I fucking hate it and I'm terribly disappointed in myself right now. I'm weak and selfish.



It's times like this that I'm really upset and disappointed with the way I turned out. I still have some hope that I can make something of myself in the future, but for the most part I constantly feel like wasted potential. I'm a 23 year old nothing....oh wait, even better....a 23 year old drug addict.

 

[Miss Hollywood]

No matter how hard we think our lives are, I can relate to everything you are saying ok. I been through 6 mental hospitals, 5 rehabs and jail 8 times all before I even turned 30. I been through hell and back, if i can do it then so can you dear, i have faith in you, in time you will get clean.

Thanks man!:D I really needed to hear "i believe in you" today...the past few weeks are rough.

Wow, you've been through a lot of shit! Thats crazy! Well, i guess what doesn't kill us makes us stronger right? You've been through a hell of a lot more than me, and i've been through a lot as a junkie and prostitute but damn man, thats a lot to deal with!

If you don't mind me asking, how did you manage to bounce back? Are you still on any kind of probation/parole?

 

[bow-viper1]

Can you try tapering down a bit to stretch it out longer? At 48mg, if you drop down to 6mg a day, it'll last you 2 extra days. Or maybe you can try to just drop down to 4mg? It'll double how long you have them for, maybe long enough to get a job?

It'll be a little uncomfortable, but much less comfortable than if you go from 8mg -> 0.


Have you discussed your financial situation with your doctor? He went fill your script for more than a week at a time?

What I'm saying is that 48mg (or six 8mg tablets) are the last on my script. I take 4mg a day, which means that I had 12 days of medication. That was seven days ago. I now have 5 days of medication left, and all I can think about is that in 5 days, I'll be out.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Then start to take 1mg a day, and taper down a little.

 

[bow-viper1]

Then start to take 1mg a day, and taper down a little.

Yeah, I may need to do that. I've done it before when I didn't even have to. But, when I have to do something it is always a little hard for me. I'm definitely going to give it a shot.