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Heroin/Opioid MEGA-Thread: Junkies check-in here!

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drug_wench said:
but i agree with kc - annoying as roommates can b, ive bn to a rehab with roomies and a rehab where i was alone in a room, and i actually ended up enjoying their company
the snoring wasnt so great of course ;)
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lol, ugh, that reminds me of my experience. My roommate at rehab was actually a really cool guy, we got along great, but fucking hell did he ever SNORE. I mean, it was bad enough that I was detoxing c/t off of opiates while there, but having to lie there wide awake night after night, listening to this guy's machine gun-like snore, was almost more than I could take.

Even with earplugs in it was loud as hell. :( He was a vietnam vet and said that ever since the war, he had to sleep with the AC on every night. Well just my luck, I was there during late winter so on top of all the snoring, I was freezing every night :\

Other than that though he was a really cool dude :D
 
^ The last time I went to detox at a hospital it there was a guy who snored so loud that even with the door closed (and his room was all the way down at the far end of the hall) you could faintly hear it at the nurses station.

The occupants of three of the rooms after him on his side of the hall could hear it loud and clear through the walls.

His roommate would take his mattress out of the room and bring it into the "quiet room" because it really sounded like a jumbo jet.
 
I just found out that my mom's been having an affair (cheating on my dad). They are/were married 26 years.

I really want to fucking get high right now
 
Out of morphine and it's been 14 hours since my last dose. The stomach cramps and sweats are hitting me pretty bad fuckin hell. I won't be able to get anymore until the sickness is over because in less then 24 hours i'll be fucking imobilized. God this sucks.
 
Life sucks for me as well right now. I relapse every weekend. Fight with parents constantly. I just fucking hate life in general. Wonder why i wake up everyday because everyday seems to be getting shittier and shittier unless im high. I was i was blissfully apathetic for my whole fucking life. Thought i had a guarenteed job that i was suppose to start soon .... still waitin for that call.

Gonna prob start using everyday again and just say fuck it ... i lost so much in a short period of time i can't deal with it.
 
eon - shit happens in our lives that does hit hard
esp shit like that
sorry to hear it mate

but the fact is it happens to evryone - its just that we, as recovering addicts, r used to having that chemical crutch to prop us up
and even wen weve bn clean for a long length of time its still our natural instinct to crave our DOC wen the shit hits the fan

my advice to u wud b to maybe get some counselling (specifically with someone who deals with alcohol and drug cases) and b honest about wat ur going thru and how its affecting u
i seem to remember u saying ur on suboxone? (tell me if im wrong) if so, maybe look at upping ur dose too

but in the end, only u can say 'damn it all - im not going to let this cause me to use'
that takes a lot of grit and determination but ppl do it all the time
u can PM me if u want to talk about how to deal with this or even if u just want to vent
 
eon_blue said:
I just found out that my mom's been having an affair (cheating on my dad). They are/were married 26 years.

I really want to fucking get high right now
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I'm so sorry :( That would make me want to get really fucking high too <3
 
32 hours with no morphine and im pouring sweat and dying inside. Didnt sleep at all last night either :p. So im not the happiest person in the world (when am i ever 8) ) but honestly i expected things to be worse by now so it's not all bad i guess.

Found a 30 mg morphine instant release pill on the floor a few hours ago but i havent taken it yet. Im thinking about saving that for if i really crack but it's hard when i can't stop sweating and my stomach is cramping up. It's fucking freezing and im still pouring sweat. I feel like i ran for a hour at top speed on the treadmil the sweating is that bad.
 
eon- I'm really, really sorry dude. Read what DW said, I think it is good advice.

Paranoid_android: you hang in there too. I like to think at least part of the wds are psychological (I KNOW they are for me)--the expectation of getting more but just not yet--and I believe you have said you are waiting for a RX refill right? Well maybe having that pill you found will help the psych aspect because you know you have something to fall back on?
 
To everyone who wants to quit but relapse because of cravings (everyone seems to be able to quit, but always relapse), try ketamine (one trip was enough for me, but I don't think it will hurt to do it maybe once every month or two for the first 6-12 months, just in case. I know I will at least do it the second I start to notice the slightest cravings). Ketamine reduces withdrawals, reduces tolerance for the drug, is antidepressant and as many other NMDA antagonists (like DXM and ibogaine) does some magic that feels like it resets or rewire the brain so the cravings (at least in my case and the two others who i know have tried it when they quit) are *totally* gone. I don't know for how long, but this is week 3 for me, and I still have no desire to use heroin. I thought the only options were using dope, feel normal/good and ruin my life because I can't afford it, or quit and be miserable for the rest of my life and always fight the cravings in the back of my head. Ketamine showed me otherwise.
 
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nodnormal said:
To everyone who wants to quit but relapse because of cravings (everyone seems to be able to quit, but always relapse), try ketamine. Ketamine reduces withdrawals, reduces tolerance for the drug, is antidepressant and as many other NMDA antagonists (like DXM and ibogaine) does some magic that feels like it resets or rewire the brain so the cravings (at least in my case and the two others who i known have tried it) are *totally* removed. I don't know for how long, but this is week 3 for me, and I still have no desire to use heroin. I thought the only options were using dope, feel normal/good and ruin my life because I can't afford it, or quit and be miserable and always have cravings in the back of my head. Ketamine showed me otherwise.
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huh? How often are you using K? You do realize that ketamine itself is highly addictive, both physically and mentally?

Not to mention that ketamine wreaks absolute hell on your kidneys and bladder.


Thanks to everyone who responded to my post about my parent's situation, especially DW.

I know that above all else I need to be sure and watch out for myself, but it's just hard knowing that nothing is going to be the same for our family ever again. My parent's relationship has been on the rocks for years now, but I didn't think it would end this way :\

My dad hasn't confronted her yet, but he told me he is going to do it tonight after he talks with his therapist. He mentioned how much he wants to find the guy she's been with, and when I was home yesterday I saw his .22 rifle out on the table in the garage :( I've never even seen his gun before.
 
eon_blue, I think I edited my post after your answer. I only did two trips in one evening, that was enough, for now at least. But to be sure, or if I start to notice cravings, I plan on doing it again in the next month or so. And yes, I'm aware of the dangers of excess ketamine use, but once every other month has to be okay I think.
 
eon_blue said:
My dad hasn't confronted her yet, but he told me he is going to do it tonight after he talks with his therapist. He mentioned how much he wants to find the guy she's been with, and when I was home yesterday I saw his .22 rifle out on the table in the garage :( I've never even seen his gun before.
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that is pretty scary :\ hopefully your dad isn't seriously thinking about using it, ir if he is, hopefully he talks it over with his therapist and figures that would solve nothing...
<3
 
Mum found me hunched over the toilet the other night, unrousable. she said I was speaking jibberish while I was basically unconscious. So I OD'd, my first and hopefully last OD. Right now my head is just fucked, I dont know what to think, I wish I could get into detox right now.

Ive written on a big piece of paper on my wall "No Opiates, Time to Detox, benzo's and weed only" Which I hope will help.
 
^^ Thanks for caring :) Im worrying about myself! lol I dont know what to do anymore.

BTW sorry for completely ignoring everyone elses posts.

Eon...Im sorry man, I dont know what else to say. I cant imagine what your feeling right now or what your dad(and mum I guess) are feeling. Maybe try to support each other as much as possible. Im sure this is really hard on your dad too. Maybe some family counselling might do some good, just you and your dad and if you can handle your mum being there but if not I suggest you two talk to someone about it. *Hugs*

Paranoid Android...Good luck getting through your WD's, its shitty now but think of how good you will feel when its over. Do you like art? I try to draw or paint when im WDing, watching movies is something that often works. I have this thing where I often feel like crying when im WD'ing but I cant get it out(wish I was a chick, they cry at the drop of a hat lol) so I put on a sad movie(forrest Gump is what I watched last week) and that gets the tears rolling and I often feel a lot better and pretty worn out when im done. Too worn out to worry about anything on my mind, crying usually puts me to sleep lol

Im doing ok today, ive done 160mg of oxy but im only feeling a little high, I cant afford for this tolerance to go any higher, literally, its starting to cost way too much. I used to get 20mg pills for $5, now its 80mg pills and while it doesnt cost as much as it should compared to what the 20mg's used to cost its still taking all my money. The fact that I can get tick(credit, fronting...borrowing, whatever you call it) is fucked too coz I get all this oxy and by the time I can pay it back I have no money and I gotta start borrowing again. I wish the 80mg pills were $5 lol

xxkcxx Dont worry about me, thanks for the concern though. That night I though fuck it im going to make sure I get high, coz it seemed like no matter how much oxy I had it'd always be the same high I just got itchier or sicker if I took more so I ended up shooting 300mg of oxy and had 6mg of xanax and I thought I was fine for ages but it must have been the xanax or the promethazine I had coz mum found me nearly dead. Luckily she's a nurse she checked my pulse which was still strong and regular so she put me in her bed and stayed with me until 5AM(I remember none of this at all) until she thought I was ok.

Thanks mum...Ive told her this plenty of times already, but seriously if she hadnt dragged me from the bathroom then the blood flow probably would have been cut off from my legs and who knows they might have gone black and id need an amputation which is definitely possible. I know people who've fallen asleep on their arm and they wake up the next day with a paralyzed arm. :\ Its making me pretty emotional thinking about it. My mum is one of the strongest women ive ever met, shes the strongest PERSON I could even fathom.
 
Paranoid_android: you hang in there too. I like to think at least part of the wds are psychological (I KNOW they are for me)--the expectation of getting more but just not yet--and I believe you have said you are waiting for a RX refill right? Well maybe having that pill you found will help the psych aspect because you know you have something to fall back on?
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Ya your right alot of it in fact most of the worst symptoms are psychological. There's always that moment of impending sense of doom and the feeling your just going to crack and lose it. Sometimes i have :\. As bad as the physical symptoms are and they are getting bad now if most of the psychological symptoms stay away i'll be greatful for it.

The physical symptoms i can handle more or less but i can't handle the mania and "heebie jeebies" that come along with it. The worst is the 3rd day when i can't sleep at all and the physical and psychological symptoms are at their worst. The day fucking lasts forever. So i may hold onto the pill i may not. Ive always got codeine to fall back on anyway and thats what im using now. Atleast you can get that OTC here it's better then nothing.

Ketaman watch out for yourself. That mild OD should be a wakeup call that youve hit the end of the road with opiates. So knock it on the head and try and get into rehab before anything worse happens cause it rarely ever get's better.

I watch alot of movies when coming off opiates basically anything to take my mind off myself helps. Listening to music, watching movies, video games, etc whatever. Basically anything to keep my mind off the fact that i am fucking miserable. The worst thing i can do is sit and dwell on it.
 
Would any amount of codeine help with WD's from a med-high dose oxy habit? I was thinking the other day that if I could get a box of 10mg/200mg codeine/ibuprofen pills and do a cold water extraction would it help at all?

Also How much poppyseed would you use to make a tea with a tolerance like mine 160mg to "just" get high, bout 80mg is the lowest that will keep me feeling ok.
 
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