Heroin/Opioid MEGA-Thread: Junkies check-in here!

[realfuzzhead]

I8hooked.. man im sorry to hear about that.. but your right, its only going to get harder to quit so you might as well get it over with now.

You try NA or anything like that?

 

[placid space]

I don't know if it's cause I'm uncomfortable or just laying around doing nothing, but if that dudes phone had been on, I'd have a bundle right now.

But it wasn't, so I don't.

You said you have lots of work and stuff to do, why dont you keep yourself busy (i know, easier said than done) . Plus you have a gf, talk to her ? As I remember youve been clean quite a while now, dont go and score now, I think id would be a real shame.

 

[Carl Landrover]

^
I've been really sick all week so I've had trouble focusing on schoolwork (get kind of dizzy) and I've been wayy too sick to work out, which is what I always turn to as a healthy pass-time. Plus, I love running.

My girl...she's been really busy with school and work lately. She's stressed with that and she worries that I'm going to go and score so I don't want to burden her with my cravings.


With that being said, I just copped a bundle. I don't care, cause then I'd feel guilty and not even enjoy it. Right now, I'm going to say fuck it. I had been working really hard in school, doing well running, and I start losing all that by getting a regular old cold, nothing drug related.

So the way I see it, doesn't matter if I'm on drugs or not, I'm never going to make the progress I want to. I might as well get high and feel super good for some periods of time instead of feeling or crappy mediocre (maybe 'good' once in a while).

I feel bad by lying to my girl, but I already knew I was/am a shitty boyfriend. 8)


Today had been 2 weeks without H, so it wasn't too long a time, and it's only the 2nd purchase in 26 days. So, it's not like I been picking up daily/weekly.

 

[7orp0r]

I thought I would check in with the other opiophiles in here. Can't remember the last time I posted.

I've officially been clean from opiates (and well all illegal drugs) for 62 days. Have been doing the outpatient group therapy thing as well as a vigorous round of NA meetings with my father and his girlfriend. Don't really agree with a lot of what is said in the meetings, but I just take what I want and leave the rest. Feel better physically than I ever did the whole time I was hooked, and mentally well...my intelligence seems to have returned as well as my vocabulary.

I cannot wait until I don't have to piss in a cup every week, and have to sit around a bunch of people who are now addicted to NA meetings.

 

[the_ketaman]

Im having some bad luck lately. The other night I spilled a whole shot of oxy which ive NEVER done before in my whole drug career, then straight after I missed a shot of Ritalin, then just then I partially missed another shot of OC, its quite frustrating. Luckily im using micron filters or my arms would be fucked but they have been absorbing missed shots fine, even when its ritalin which used to give me near golfball sized lumps if I missed any.

Im mostly high now but I was looking so forward to that Ive only got 2 filters left too. I cant wait until I know the date I can go into detox, im currently in shitloads of debt and I have no idea how long I can keep using for before I completely run out of money or sources. Its so nerve wracking, if I could get on a bus and go to detox tomorrow I would. Its the rehab I have to wait for though, they dont have enough beds atm.

 

[Jabberwocky]

i'm wishing you the best of luck ketaman, i hope it all gets sorted for you soon bro.

i hate seeing drugs destroy such nice guys.

take it easy on the oxy and rit, too man.

 

[lady grey]

Im having some bad luck lately. The other night I spilled a whole shot of oxy which ive NEVER done before in my whole drug career, then straight after I missed a shot of Ritalin, then just then I partially missed another shot of OC, its quite frustrating. Luckily im using micron filters or my arms would be fucked but they have been absorbing missed shots fine, even when its ritalin which used to give me near golfball sized lumps if I missed any.

Im mostly high now but I was looking so forward to that Ive only got 2 filters left too. I cant wait until I know the date I can go into detox, im currently in shitloads of debt and I have no idea how long I can keep using for before I completely run out of money or sources. Its so nerve wracking, if I could get on a bus and go to detox tomorrow I would. Its the rehab I have to wait for though, they dont have enough beds atm.

Did they give you a ballpark on long you have to wait man?

I know it's not easy, are you able to get on a suboxone or bupe program before detox to help you with the transition?

 

[the_ketaman]

You may have missed it, but a couple posts up both DW and I listed what meds we got when we medically detoxed

Thanks for that

I just shot another 80 and im not even nodding, im pretty high though but I have the chronic shakes, I wonder if ive been doing xanax enough to get the shakes I didnt think I used them that much but maybe I did.

 

[the_ketaman]

Did they give you a ballpark on long you have to wait man?

I know it's not easy, are you able to get on a suboxone or bupe program before detox to help you with the transition?

They said the longest id have to wait is 3 months but that wont be happening, if it takes more than 2 weeks im going to start looking for other places as well, but they said to me personally that it definitely wont take 3 months, someone is bound to leave or get kicked out or finish by then. Im lucky though, because im an IV user, Benzo user and an opiate user I get put to pretty much to top of the waiting list. Its a lovely place guys, I wish ou could see it, its for people aged 16-24 so thankfully I wont be the youngest and we all get our own rooms which is a huge plus for me, the last 2 times I went to rehab I had to share rooms with people which I think is dumb for a rehab, im lucky the guy I shared rooms with both times was one of my best friends ive ever had in this lifetime. .

 

[wingnutlives]

Good chance I could get some H soon, or at least oxy... God I want it NOW! That "maybe it'll come through this time" always makes me crave so bad, I'm just fine when there's no possibility. Every few months I get that possibility though and it puts me right back into that line of thinking.

 

[placid space]

Well I managed to stay clean for a couple of days but then relapsed so whatever. If at least Id get some good dope :/. Dont know where to go from here really, I have so little willpower. And right now sober life seems like just dealing with crap i dont want with ocassional happy moments. It would take so much effort to get back on track. Im still going to try and quit again because Im spending way too much money on crap dope, my skin is pale and shitty looking, I feel bad most of the time and I get nothing done anymore on dope. I used to now I just dont. And when Im off of it It takes me at least a week to get my focus back. I try doing some college work but mostly I just stare at a page for prolonged periods of time (not high) and not really be doing anything. Like a retard 8) .

So first step, I'll try using just once a day. Evenings, because during the day I usually have stuff to do.

 

[Soul4Soul]

it took me 10 days to feel relatively normal after getting off 6 months of suboxone maintenance...miserable. But of course everyone reacts differently...i know withdrawals are xtra tough on me bcz I have stomach issues.

 

[i8hooked]

I8hooked.. man im sorry to hear about that.. but your right, its only going to get harder to quit so you might as well get it over with now.

You try NA or anything like that?

I did the NA thing 20 years ago and swore Id never do that again..

I made it past my old dealer..got squared away with him and told him the news..He just looked at me like he didnt believe me at all...lol!

I got these Suboxone here..tastes like old stale tang. but they seem to work at staving off the withdrawals.
I still want to nod and slobber on myself though..LOL!!
I have money in the bank and dont know how to spend it! maybe a hooker?LMAO!!

 

[xxkcxx]

the last 2 times I went to rehab I had to share rooms with people which I think is dumb for a rehab, im lucky the guy I shared rooms with both times was one of my best friends ive ever had in this lifetime. .

Can I ask why you think it's dumb? I mean to me it's pretty practical from a financial and treatment standpoint. The financial is obvious, but as for treatment, you got someone with you who can keep an eye on you (good for the center) and then someone you can get close to and have to talk with (good for you).

I still talk to my roommate from treatment and it's been a year and she lives in another state. She's also in prison right now, but we have been writing back and forth


Once again, man, I wish you luck. In my experience (but over here in the U.S.) it usually never takes as long as they say it will. It is very true that people end up leaving and/or getting kicked out quit often. Bad for them, but good for you!

 

[paranoid android]

Only 5 lousy 30mg morphine pills left and it's withdrawal time. Im really fearing it this time because ive got fuck all meds for withdrawals. Only enough clonazepam to last me until my next script so no drugging myself up with that, no sleeping pills unless you count seroquel which often leaves me waking up in sweat, no codeine and nothing else basically.

So ya im scared i'll admit it. It's been 24 hours since my last dose and the sweat is pouring off me and my stomach is cramping up. I'll take 90mg's of morphine soon with some anti-histamines to boost it and stretch the stuff out.

This sucks . I havent the least idea why im writing this either.

 

[InTherapy82]

I've been clean from dope for 6 months and my best friend just relapsed. I lost all my old connects so I had no way to get in before. Now she calls me that she has some. Good thing my phone was dead Thursday cuz she was calling me whether I want some. I probably would have driven over there w/ money. Stupid me told her I'd want some if she gets it. I even convinced her that I really wants some even thou she was reluctant to get me some. She's been clean for over 2 years and she never gave me any dope throughout her addiction. I got addicted on my own.

Why is the feeling of wanting dope still in my head. I know I can't do it cuz it will fuck up my life and I need the money I have for other shit. But I still want to do it. So messed up. I wouldn't seek it out but its like almost in front of my nose.

 

[xxkcxx]

^ I think that right now, while you are physically away from the temptation, you are going to have to call her or send her a message telling her that you DO NOT want any and that no matter how hard you try to tell her otherwise that she is to ignore you. Tell your hubby you are going to do it so he can hold you responsible. Or just have your hubby do it for you to make sure it gets done if you feel comfortable with that.

If she never gave you dope through her addiction, it seems like she is the kind of friend who would listen to you if you tell her this.

 

[spaceyourbass]

I've traded in my big ups and even bigger downs for a solid, consistent life of methadone "treatment." It's easier on the pockets and the liver, and God damn it much less stressful. I wake up early everyday and am about to get a job. Now I don't have to hustle around all the time to get a huge stash of opiates, especially when tests and papers are coming up.
My fellow junkies, I urge you to consider a methadone clinic. I think there are alot of misconceptions about the whole thing. I've only been in one a short time, but feel free to ask any questions, whether about cost or drug testing, or how easy it is to score (you literally just go in, say your number, initial, and take your shot).

 

[drug_wench]

^i was offered methadone.....in fact almost went on it in the end but chose suboxone just cos ive heard dones a lot harder to get off
these days theres always the option of waiting till u want to come off the done and reducing slowly till u get to the equivalent of 30mg or so of subs and swapping over for a gentler jump off
put it this way, if u cant stay off street opiates and u cant afford suboxone, yea methadones a way better option

carl - if u havnt used yet, i beg u man, pleeeeease throw the gear out! b strong! u r doing so well!
and if u hav used, dont keep using, dont go back to that lifestyle.......u hav a choice
yes, u got sick - but evryone gets sick, esp wen their bodies r a bit run-down from drug use
i believe u can do it.....but uve got to want to, man
uve already proved u can do it
PM me if u want to talk privately about it (im hardly going to judge u )

ketaman - look after urself
IVing ritalin can b pretty risky, even with micron filters, maybe u shud try giving ur veins a break and use ur oxy/ritalin other ways
and as far as benzos go, i think if uve bn physicaly addicted once, like anything the WDs r more likely to come on with less use than before
maybe start reducing ur xanax use slowly
and as i think ive said gd luck at rehab
but i agree with kc - annoying as roommates can b, ive bn to a rehab with roomies and a rehab where i was alone in a room, and i actually ended up enjoying their company
the snoring wasnt so great of course

 

[xxkcxx]

Hey Carl----


I read on this forum that Heroin actually increases your immune system a bit and keeps you from getting sick. Therefore, when you come off of it, your immune system goes back to normal and after long periods of putting your body through hell, you are likely to get sick.

I say this so you remember that if you want to get clean, getting sick is going to be part of your life eventually. I hardly think a life of heroin use is a fair trade off for not being sick.