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Heroin/Opioid MEGA-Thread: Junkies check-in here!

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fuck yeh prodg...that is awsesom mate.

the first 90 are hard...but you are right it does get easier with time.

its coming up to 12months with me since i last used opiates or anything for that matter.

i reckon with smack it stays with you..that feeling of peace, comfertablity and warmth...sure i would like that feeling every now and again but i dont want all the shit that goes along with it....and it never lasts, the more i use the shorter that good feeling stays.

the tollerance, dealing with wankers all the time, being broke, stealing, abseces, damaged nerves, od's, violence etc....nah thanks...but i would sure like to have that amazing feeling once and a while.
 
ClubbinGuido said:
Yeah bro. Congrats. 120 days? Shit. Your a strong person.
Click to expand...


Thanks for the support guys. I'm really, really not a strong person, not when it comes to drugs! I get my strength through meetings, the people there that show me how THEY got the time they have, the 12 steps, and (gasp) my higher power. Makes it much easier than trying to "white knuckle" it!
 
Yeah congrats pr0digy, keep up the good work. I have no idea how some of you guys do it. At the moment I've been clean off dope for about 2 weeks using suboxone, and even on suboxone I still think about dope constantly and think about making the trip to go cop everyday. I know exactly what you guys mean on that craving and need which you cant put a finger on. Its just complete discomfort and anxiety and this need to go and fix, regardless of the consequences. And I have tried AA and NA and worked the steps and had a sponsor and still relapsed. Now I'm on my 3rd try at suboxone in the past 3 years. I feel my relapses and me using heroin again is inevitable. Like I just cant do it and stay off dope permenently if my life depended on it. I guess I just dont have anything else to live for.
 
i now have more than 24 hours not shooting dope in NYC and im stayin like 10 blocks away from a spot :D ... also job interview went really well, I'm pretty sure I'm hired but they can't tell me that straight up, have to go through the proper process/channels
 
I get where everybody here is coming from. I've been in a lot of pain for a while, and rather than trying for a surgical correction, I've turned to the opiate band-aid.

Started out with kratom, which was a relatively benign opiate for me. I never allowed myself to dose more than once in a day, and the withdrawals were cake! I went to a festival with my buddy for 4 days and I never felt sick.

Now I turned to pods and the extreme duration is really fucking me. I try to taper because I know I got a lot of shit in my system but it's only been like 3 days and already I'm wondering if I would get high if I drank a bunch of tea.

Quasi here, struggling with the opioid beast.
 
Pods are rough bro, because your withdrawing from so many chemicals aside from the opiates. A lot of those chemicals have a pretty long half life believe it or not.

As of now I have been 6 days clean. Tomorrow I want to get high. I'm not in withdrawal (physically at least, mentally its another story) but my mind is on fire and it burns with desire for the fucking spike. In a way its worse than being dope sick, because when your dope sick you will do anything to fulfill that need, but when you just have that hunger to get high, to drown out the machinery in your head, things like logic, reason, and morals, come into play and make getting high a challenge depending on the situation.
 
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pods are very underestimated, i mean, its the source, dont fuck around peoples.

CG;

after 6 days, if you are urging, chip it and get it over with. maybe you will again, or maybe not sooner. there is life after H...

i havent shot any ops in a month or so, i have respect for the poppy. opiates are more important then oil...

can you do it w/o the stick?!? no it wouldnt be the same immediately, but affective, and less instantly gratifying.


i type this as im listening to blind melon, shanon hoon o/d younger then we probably are.
 
hey everyone. i just wanted to say that i finally got to try dope about a week ago and i LOVED it. i didnt shoot, fyi. i snorted it. i've been doing oxy for a couple months now (about 3-6 days a week, occasionally taking a week break.) and i've tried hydromorphone and morphine but none of that compared to dope. however, my intense love for it made me know that i couldnt do it at all, at least until i have my oxy addiction under control, since i'm able to get dope every day if i wanted to. and i feel really strong for knowing that :) i just had to get that out there and i figured this is the right place.
 
"I'm not in withdrawal (physically at least, mentally its another story) but my mind is on fire and it burns with desire for the fucking spike. In a way its worse than being dope sick, because when your dope sick you will do anything to fulfill that need, but when you just have that hunger to get high, to drown out the machinery in your head, things like logic, reason, and morals, come into play and make getting high a challenge depending on the situation."

Man i hear that, when I'm sick if I can get $ its on, its automatic, once its in my hands I run for the closest bathroom and boot that shit, a small alley failing that.. god.. Also when I started I could spend $30-50 on it and have a few hundred bucks and save it for whatever now its every fucking doller.. if I had $1000 I'd spend it and stay fuct for a week.. maybe set 100 aside for yay-o for speedballs lol.
 
i am a little over 4 months clean from i.v. black tar heroin thanks to suboxone. take about 4mg a day. it helps tremendously. this 4 months is actually the longest i've gone w/out heroin since i started it over 3 years ago. opiates are a bitch to get rid of.
 
I like how this thread has been compiling almost all of those damn opiate thoughts/craving/feeling/hunger when you're feeling crappy and trying to stop or reduce at least.


The boredom/lethargy is what bothers me the most (once the sickness is through). I hate looking around my room knowing that if I was high I might clean it or take a walk or just enjoy doing something. Or I hate knowing I have to go to work or do something for school and it just feels like an impossible task.


Blech! I'm through with all that, maybe take a .2 dose of suboxone once in a while just to avoid any PAWS, but I can't be doing anything else. Arggh! Now I'm suddenly imaging doing some oxy or bags 1 more time because I won't have a tolerance and 1 random time is no big deal. Right?

3 days since I last dosed any sub and only once in the last week! Huzzah!:)


*End thoughts*
 
i'm still in ny and still haven't gotten high; which is pretty fucking surprising 8o
feeling good about it; positive

stay strong everyone

i'm gonna be sittin around online most of today; my firend i'm staying with is at work and i'm pretty much broke but i'm spending a few more days down here

anyone if you wanna talk IM me or PM me those of you that know me a bit better, you know how oyu are and you know how else to get at me ... would be happy to talk.
 
Been doin dope for about 4 months now. Only snorting, vowed never to IV. Some say I will soon fall through to slaming once my tolerance gets high, but i promised myself. I know thats a decision I would regret. So, I get east coast stamps. usually do 1 a day if im just trying to be well. did 5-6 for an incredible nod the other day, that was beyond words.

Glad I'm not the only one around here chasing " ..that feeling of peace, comfertablity and warmth". Very few of my peers get down with lady morphine.

This shit is expensive though. I sometimes regret my habit, then after a lil powder goes up my nose I rarely question my use.

w/ds are absolute hell! one of the worst things I have experienced. describing to a non-user is near impossible. its horrible!
thats about all
 
So here I am, been using for nearly a year, on and off. During the summer I had been completely clean, but near the end I started using again (smoking) until it has progressed recently to smoking every day. Last week was my bday so i bought a gram, and vowed that this week would be my last time for a long time. I figure ill take a break, and the longer breaks will come naturally. I got a stash of subs to help me stay clean. Here's to hoping I can stay clean.

And to the poster above me, stay strong man, dont use the needle. I myself made a similar promise to myself not to spike, and so far so good. The urge however gets stronger and stronger and my tolerance flies higher and higher but hopefully ill stop before it reaches that point.
 
fuck this thread is really raw...reminds me so much of me in active addiction.

i never thought the desire to use would go for me...i rarely think about it, sometimes i would like the calm...but i can get pretty damn close with meditation now days..never thought i would say that...

there was no thought process for me either, it was a thought about using, that would start the desire, then into complete obbsession and i would do anything for it...

stay safe people.
 
My life's a sad, pathetic mess but at least I'm clean. The ball dropped a year and a half ago, july 2007. Sobriety is FUCKING HARD WORK and I hate, hate, hate all the "let's work on this" and "lets work on that" CRAP that goes with it. I hate strength and sharing and fellowship and promises and GARBAGE but...

I love my kids. I love them more than I love anything else in the whole world and I a.) would be really fucking sad to kill myself and leave them fucked up. I'd miss them too much to never see them again, and if i use I end up dead or in jail and b.) they need me sober.

So there. In my snowcave (metaphor here, kids, not coke or meth, ice like snow like water frozen) and just trying not to expect anything but more crap and pain. Sigh.
 
i know i probably sound like an idiot but opiates are only bad when you can thave them... if for instance there was an endless supply or the world didnt deem it as "bad" there wouldnt be a problem... this is my opinion any way... im probably gonna get raked for it... sorry guys im ranting on..
 
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