Mh, have you ever tested your "heroin"? because it does not sound like it is what it's advertised as.
But as you're also experimenting with crack and other drugs, maybe you just blew a fuse or something,
maybe your reward system is completely fucked up, can't say
Weirder question, how is it even worth it for you without the euphoria?
I mean I'm not an addict, I don't know how it's worth it at all.
Smoked loads of Opium in Spain and thought it was shit, dunno.
I was still fascinated by it, but it really wasn't much of anything..