cherrycolouredfunk
Bluelighter
^ Ah fucking hell Gizmo. That just made me cry. reading caring words written about me made me crumble. I actually first smoked heroin 4 years ago, but only restarted 9 months ago yeah. I'm not sure how things spiraled so fast, but I do know that i've always gone straight in with both feet with things, and anything that offers me escape from reality, i'll grab on to with both hands. I've not been deeply happy with myself for a long time. Then there's the friends I keep. Some of them good, some of them bad. When I started pinning, I ended up getting involved with a boy who was bad for me, he's now in Jail. I still hang around with his best friend, who is getting deeper and deeper into a bad situation, using 10 items a day as he gets them for free. It was this friend who first ever put a needle to my arm, after i asked him to, I can now do it myself. This is something that he has admitted to me hebeats himself up over, as he's seen how flat out i've been in the past month. However, I asked him to do it. Also, as a fellow user, he probably did have junkie mentality and knew that getting me using, would benefit him as we always raise cash, and use together, and it's easier working with someone.
I've descended fast yes. With 3 arrests in 2 or 3 months, I'm currently on bail (2nd time in three months
) . I'm PrAYING that they put me on a Drr , as if i tell the truth, no matter how much i try to kid myself htat i've cut down, i'm still actually fucking FLAT OUT and I need supervision!
In 3 months, I have developed Hepatitis C. Death Sentence! I know users who have been pinning for years, and have either have never developed it, or took longer than 3 months to get it. I don;t know what genoype I have yet, or what my viral load is yet. I'm waiting on that bad news. I just hope I only have one type, not two, though I have a horrible feeling it could be both, as my body isn't fighting it, and I suffer a lot of side effects on a daily basis. I also think I know who gave me it, as one person I know, really didn't want me to get my results, as he said he didn't think I was mentally prepared, and I read a text message he sent from my phone, mentioning liver disease. Ive stopped drinking alcohol, as my LFT count was very high, so I'm showing early signs of liver damage, and the hep c will speed that up if I keep drinking.
I have court in 2 weeks, and hopefully I'm going into 14 days rehab, as at the moment i'm just running to stand still.
You only learnt to read and write recently? What an amazing thing. I always wanted to teach adults to read and write, I still do. I'd love to be able to open up the world for someone like that.
I just never could afford the course to do it, though if I think about how much I've been spending on crack and smack a day, ( 100 quid) I could have done anything I wanted....
I've descended fast yes. With 3 arrests in 2 or 3 months, I'm currently on bail (2nd time in three months

In 3 months, I have developed Hepatitis C. Death Sentence! I know users who have been pinning for years, and have either have never developed it, or took longer than 3 months to get it. I don;t know what genoype I have yet, or what my viral load is yet. I'm waiting on that bad news. I just hope I only have one type, not two, though I have a horrible feeling it could be both, as my body isn't fighting it, and I suffer a lot of side effects on a daily basis. I also think I know who gave me it, as one person I know, really didn't want me to get my results, as he said he didn't think I was mentally prepared, and I read a text message he sent from my phone, mentioning liver disease. Ive stopped drinking alcohol, as my LFT count was very high, so I'm showing early signs of liver damage, and the hep c will speed that up if I keep drinking.
I have court in 2 weeks, and hopefully I'm going into 14 days rehab, as at the moment i'm just running to stand still.
You only learnt to read and write recently? What an amazing thing. I always wanted to teach adults to read and write, I still do. I'd love to be able to open up the world for someone like that.
I just never could afford the course to do it, though if I think about how much I've been spending on crack and smack a day, ( 100 quid) I could have done anything I wanted....
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