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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Cheshire_Kat

(Heroin) First time: I LOVE It

It is currently taking down a very old friend of mine (again this time for real I think) and I feel completely helpless. I dont know what to do to help him.

Feel like crying everytime I talk to him :(

This stuff is a disease. Stop now while you can.
 
I concur about heroin being a disease. I've tried all sorts of opiates and none of them have the capacity to grab ahold of you as quickly and brutally as heroin. I used it 5 days in a row, snorting small amounts only, and had minor withdrawals and depression/anxiety for 2 weeks afterwards. All opiates are addictive, but heroin has this dark, evil vibe to it that makes me shiver to think about.
 
AcidRain said:
the day i get a contact for heroin is the day i become a junky.

I've been doing codeine for a year and a half now and every day i thank fate/god/myluckystars/whatever for the fact that I've never once come in contact with someone that can hook me up with heroin/oxy/etc


well written, enjoyed reading this! (makes me want heroin even more!)

but just how fictional is it? Putting it in trip reports might be a bit misleading if its not entirely to the truth, and for the sake of keeping literary works separate from factual reports, maybe this thread should be in words?
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Amen to that.. and snap snap snap aha. :\
 
Xorkoth said:
I had some diacetylmorphine for the first time last week. I did it for 5 days in a row, and now I've been dealing with minor withdrawal for days... can't sleep for shit and I keep getting random bouts of anxiety and discontent. I also can't really stop moving. And kratom has switched to doing nothing whatsoever, except possibly attentuating the symptoms for a brief time.

So yeah, just be careful... I never had that sort of reaction from any other opiate. And it came at a bad time, with family holiday times and all.
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:O :\


I honestly never understood how psychonauts might fall into narcotics
 
MasterOfDeception said:
:O :\


I honestly never understood how psychonauts might fall into narcotics
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Perhaps because we're explorers by nature.

I'm pretty much only into psychedelics but I've certainly had curiosity about other things such as heroin just out of wondering how they feel even though right now the effects don't appeal to me.

In fact the idea of getting drugged up and just lounging around feeling drugged up is kind of repulsive to me. But all the same I have a curiosity as to what these things feel like that I dont allow myself to satisfy because I see how easily people develop a taste for it.

Just my personal perception on how a psychonaught might find themselves branching out into darker waters.
 
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I'm pretty much only into psychedelics but I've certainly had curiosity about other things such as heroin just out of wondering how they feel even though right now the effects don't appeal to me.

In fact the idea of getting drugged up and just lounging around feeling drugged up is kind of repulsive to me. But all the same I have a curiosity as to what these things feel like that I dont allow myself to satisfy because I see how easily people develop a taste for it.
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Yeah kind of same here.
But I was thinking it more in terms like, once you have felt how it is to be fully aware and consciousness and your senses work to the max & you can get bliss even from the most trivial thing in life, why would one choose mrs. H or narcotics, that just give artificial pleasure, while on the contrary psychedelics give you the pleasure that's already inside you and teach you/push you to pursue it...

(Just in case, sorry for the offtopic btw....)
 
^^ Because one might arrive at the conclusion that the point of existence is to experience and be happy. And some drugs besides psychedelics can provide quite a fantastic experience. So you use them to gain that experience, never intending on becoming a slave. But it's really easy to fall into the opiate hole without realizing it. Some people use drugs of all kinds, even opiates, to experience life more fully, rather than to hide problems. Hell, I used psychedelics problematically for the past year or so for the same reason, not to hide problems but to experience things. I used them way too often because I love my life and this existence, not the opposite. But use drugs too much and they create problems from nothing.

The problem is that a lot of psychonauts forget that drugs are not the answer, but just a tool to arrive at the answer. It's easy to confuse the destination with the ride to the destination, and by the time you realize it you've already developed unhealthy habits.

On a positive note, that quote from me actually ended up leading to a good place. I did indeed suffer heroin withdrawals for 2 weeks, but that time forced me to be sober for a while, and I was able to shed a whole lot of my "drug burden", and I made some significant life changes afterwards. Even still though, kratom (my main vice over the past 4 years) beckons to me, staying at the edge of being a problem. Just because one has seen past the ego does not mean that the ego isn't still a powerful force. I mean, who doesn't want to feel good on command? A psychonaut is not immune to this. In fact, I see a rather high percentage of those who get deeply into psychedelics end up on opiates as well.
 
The problem is that a lot of psychonauts forget that drugs are not the answer, but just a tool to arrive at the answer. It's easy to confuse the destination with the ride to the destination, and by the time you realize it you've already developed unhealthy habits.
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Very true!


Just because one has seen past the ego does not mean that the ego isn't still a powerful force. I mean, who doesn't want to feel good on command?
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Of course..Humans want to avoid pain and seek pleasure,it's in the human nature on could say. Everyone wants to be happy on command, but why not try to be happy in some other way? Why pursuit happiness in substances that give you a 'forced' happiness? Probably because it's very very easy to do so.

In fact, I see a rather high percentage of those who get deeply into psychedelics end up on opiates as well.
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Depends, there are some psychedelic users that have had few (but very strong experiences) and generally are substance-free or do very moderate use of psychoactives. On the other hand, it seems that a lot of people that do not know much about psychedelics end up having 'bad trips' and freakouts and then turn to opiates to self-medicate their mental issues.
 
well not according to the buddhist, suffering (dukkha) is one of the three fundamental aspects of living (the others are being and change).
 
I can see the reasoning behind both. I tend to think suffering is theoretically optional, since it is up to how you feel about something. But in practice I don't think it's possible to eliminate all suffering. We're human, and we're wired to respond to certain things in certain ways. Sometimes things just suck. And from suffering comes change, and it makes the good good. Otherwise it would just be.
 
It is possible to detach from one's suffering. I do NOT think this is what heroin does for you though. Heroin masks pain. Heroin is ultimate attachment to worldly affairs (a drug addiction is pretty much the antithesis of detachment).
 
Agreed for sure. I had almost forgotten this thread was an experience report on heroin when I said that. As such, we should remain on topic. =D
 
Xorkoth said:
Agreed for sure. I had almost forgotten this thread was an experience report on heroin when I said that. As such, we should remain on topic. =D
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No worries... I enjoy philosophical discussion :)

As for heroin.... I haven't done it in about a month and a half. I do much lighter opiates (I enjoy tramadol, vicadin, etc.) and that keeps me content. I'm sure I'll come across H again at some point, but I'm not sure if I'll take it or not. If I have the option of taking another opiate like oxy, I think I would choose that instead. Heroin really strikes me as somewhat demonic and evil, and I am starting to become afraid of it now.
 
wingnutlives said:
I would never ever do any of that stuff. NO way. I've never stolen or done sexual favors or anything like that in my life, no matter how little money I've had or how hungry I was for food or drugs or anything.
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This statement is exactly what my ex fiance said before the addictions got out of control and she became a hooker. It is what most people say before they loose all hope and become addicted.

I always swore I wouldn't rob people or break into houses. During my 7 years of heroin addiction I broke that promise to myself.

heroin sucks the life out of people. It killed my sister, my best friend, and it kills lots of other people every day. It brings with it misery, despair, death, hopelessness, and slavery.

Please don't become another statistic... heroin is best not touched.
 
wingnutlives said:
No worries... I enjoy philosophical discussion :)

As for heroin.... I haven't done it in about a month and a half. I do much lighter opiates (I enjoy tramadol, vicadin, etc.) and that keeps me content. I'm sure I'll come across H again at some point, but I'm not sure if I'll take it or not. If I have the option of taking another opiate like oxy, I think I would choose that instead. Heroin really strikes me as somewhat demonic and evil, and I am starting to become afraid of it now.
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I'm glad to hear this. :) I was just wondering what had become of you as I posted here yesterday because I hadn't seen you post in a while. I agree about heroin being different from other opiates... it just felt dirty to me. Draining. Whereas other opiates, while they certainly have the potential to fuck up lives, do not seem to have this same energy to them. When I do an opiate such as oxycodone, I feel exuberant and joyful and healthy (if I take something like this it is only rarely). When I dabbled with heroin, it produced a state of contentment with dark undertones, not exuberance, not joy. And I felt decidedly tainted. In fact that taint lingered on and made for a really dark two weeks after I ran out.
 
Excellent account..I liked your comparison to the feeling of having all of your sins absolved by god. Excellent aphorism for the wave of euphoria that H brings to its user. Interesting read!
 
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