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Detox Heroin Detox Journal

chinup said:
fair enough- i've never had a situation like that. its been rife the two places i lived while i was using.

even one day the police put through 20 doors at once and we just noticed a slight disturbance for like an hour. they were dead proud of arresting so many people but to us users on the ground supply wasn't even impacted. in a town of 250k in the middle of nowhere. plus people sold their scripts etc.
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To be bloody honest I think I'd have been fired from that job I was after inside of 2 weeks even if I hadn't messed up the interview and got accepted for it.
I was already well down the road of going off the rails with my using back then.
I wouldn't have made a reliable employee Xd
 
Paid off my final debt today, deleted his number straight afterwards. It'll ne great getting paid next week and actually having money for the first time since I relapsed in April. If I need any pills I can hit someone else up who doesn't sell brown.

Milestone day for me. Next milestone will be Friday/Saturday next week (at the latest). Thanks for the encouragement everyone. So, so tough these last couple of days. Took some codeine and some valium this morning and put a pain patch on the small of my back so I could walk.

Don't think I'm going to bother with any more codeine from here on in as it'll probably set me back and I just want out asap.

Doubt I'll be leaving the house for the next week at least, maybe once or twice if my mother needs help with my dad so I'm keeping the remainder of the Valium for that. Told my mother I was sneezing all last night, might say tomorrow that I'm coming down with a flu. My aunts coming down and I just can't handle people right now. Can't speak. Listless, and likely come across like a prick. As withdrawals go, this is definitely one of the worst. Maybe it's the added stress of not knowing if my fathers going to wake up the next day. He wouldn't wake up this morning and we got the fright of our shite...

By the way, does anyone else get the blurred vision during CT withdrawal?

Anyone have much experience/any success with clonidine? These hot flashes are a damn nightmare.
 
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endlessnameless said:
Anyone have much experience/any success with clonidine? These hot flashes are a damn nightmare.
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Yep I've taken clonidine for opiate withdrawals several times, and sometimes I take it to help with my insomnia and PTSD nightmares. If you can get your hands on some, it is excellent and very helpful for opiate withdrawals <3
 
nice one deleting that dealers number- did you block it before deletion?

youre doing really good, and probably right to stop with the codeine now, there gets to a point where the benefit it gives you isn't worth it for the extra time you'll spend on the tail end of your rattle.

i have had blurred vision in withdrawals my eyes seem to be quite sensitive to my substance intake. it may also be related to the comfort meds that you're taking. don't really know. tbh my vision was blurry for years and i just assumed it was pupil dilation from the dark and then i got an eye test and it turned out my vision was blurry cos i needed glasses. lol.

that is really scary about your dad, definitely doesn't help, any added stress will be making the psychological aspect worse.
 
n3ophy7e said:
Yep I've taken clonidine for opiate withdrawals several times, and sometimes I take it to help with my insomnia and PTSD nightmares. If you can get your hands on some, it is excellent and very helpful for opiate withdrawals <3
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Hey, it's possible I might be able to get some later - could you tell me what dose you were taking daily?

I'm thinking 1mg daily for 10 days?
I know not to drink or take benzos with them either.

If anyone could tell me asap it'd a HUGE help.

Thanks.
 
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See now I might have that wrong - it could be 0.1mg, which is 100mcg if I'm not mistaken. Big difference there.
 
endlessnameless said:
See now I might have that wrong - it could be 0.1mg, which is 100mcg if I'm not mistaken. Big difference there.
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Please, if there's anyone here who knows I need to know ASAP.

Thanks in advance. I suspect it's 0.1mg (100mcg), but I think it's supposed to be spread out ie 25mcg x 4 daily as opposed to one 0.1mg tab per day.

Really need this clarified.
 
endlessnameless said:
Please, if there's anyone here who knows I need to know ASAP.

Thanks in advance. I suspect it's 0.1mg (100mcg), but I think it's supposed to be spread out ie 25mcg x 4 daily as opposed to one 0.1mg tab per day.

Really need this clarified.
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I PM'd you but in case you see this first: 150 micrograms as required should do it.
 
endlessnameless said:
Hey, it's possible I might be able to get some later - could you tell me what dose you were taking daily?

I'm thinking 1mg daily for 10 days?
I know not to drink or take benzos with them either.

If anyone could tell me asap it'd a HUGE help.

Thanks.
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I was just prescribed clonadine for withdraw.

Bottle reads 0.1 mg tablet; Take 1 tab by mouth 3 times a day for withdrawal.

Hope this helps!
 
chinup said:
how you getting on endless??
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Hi Chinup,

Unfortunately, I began using again before my withdrawals had a chance to subside as my father passed away and his funeral was last week. I'm now moving into day one - with the dealers numbers *blocked* now.
Thanks for enquiring.

Does anyone know of anything OTC that would help with the chills and sweats? Anything that would have the same affect as clonidine? I doubt it but its worth asking. The reason I couldnt go to the doctor to get it prescribed is that I have a family member who is a nurse there and my records would be seen, and if its seen learned that I've been prescribed clonidine for withdrawals I'll be out on the street. With or without it I'll have to get through it.

Anyway, less talk out of me and more action. I'll report back in a few days and let you guys know how its going.
 
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shit mate i'm so sorry for your loss.

i can't blame you for using.

just wondering why the fuck a nurse at a practise would find out what you're prescribed? like why can they look at your records? surely unless you have an appointment with them directly they wouldn't see your records, and if you ever need a nurses appointment just specify not with that nurse. its completely valid to not want family to see your medical records.

otherwise can you try and taper a bit before you drop and then use OTC shit and diaz etc to get you through?
 
endlessnameless said:
Hi Chinup,

Unfortunately, I began using again before my withdrawals had a chance to subside as my father passed away and his funeral was last week. I'm now moving into day one - with the dealers numbers *blocked* now.
Thanks for enquiring.

Does anyone know of anything OTC that would help with the chills and sweats? Anything that would have the same affect as clonidine? I doubt it but its worth asking. The reason I couldnt go to the doctor to get it prescribed is that I have a family member who is a nurse there and my records would be seen, and if its seen learned that I've been prescribed clonidine for withdrawals I'll be out on the street. With or without it I'll have to get through it.

Anyway, less talk out of me and more action. I'll report back in a few days and let you guys know how its going.
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How about getting them at an urgent care facility?
 
I've just hit the Day 10 mark. I'm not feeling 100% as of yet ( maybe 70% ) but I expect that'll happen during the week ahead. I definitely dont feel as flat as I did before. It hasn't been easy but it would have been much more difficult had I not had Lyrica. I was taking 300mgs a day for the first 4 days.

I wanted to wait until I got into the double digits before I wrote another post here. My motivation is still low and my sleep isn't the best...once my motivation returns I know I'll be out of the woods. I can hasten the chances of that happening by getting out there on my bike but I can't get that fixed until I get paid on Thursday, but at least when Thursday comes I'll be able to pick it up from the shop and just cycle around the city and get my natural endorphins going again.
 
well done!!!

what psychological help are you getting? are you going to meetings? seeing a counsellor? you need to do everything you physically can, especially given your recent grief. to address all the shittiness you've been hiding with heroin.
 
Thanks for the support folks. I'm currently not recieving any psychological support, just keeping myself busy trying to finish off my ECDL/ICDL course before November 12th as I've had little to bloody zero motivation lately and becasue I couldn't think straight during the withdrawal process ( which still isnt over however I expect it should be by the weeks end - somewhere between Day 14-18 ) I had to take a two week hiatus from doing exams and just sit back and try and make myself as comfortable and stress-free as possible to avoid a relapse.

You're absolutely right though - I should definitely look into some sort of therapy, preferably from a doctor who has experience with addiction (and grief too considering that's beginning to affect me now that my emotions are slowly returning). You see while I've always detoxed cold-turkey at home (bar the two occasions I was on methadone), I've never once gone to any kind of therapy to address the reasons behind why I was self-medicating with the Heroin. Well actually thats not strictly true; I did see a psychiatrist (this was years ago - well before I ever had a whiff of heroin or even considered it a possibility, it only became a possibilty after I had tried every possible type of SNRI/SNDRI/MAOI then ultimately Lithium as a last resort) before via the HSE (Irish equivalent to the NHS) in regard to depression but they weren't therapy sessions, more like in and out within 15mins if you were lucky to get that long in which time you were asked if you were feeling any better or worse and then they'd write me a prescription for whatever anti-depressant they had me on that month. I always thought it was depression and due to that I believe I was misdiagnosed when in reality my issue is certainly anxiety - crippling anxiety - depression being but a symptom of this, the bane of my existance since the age of 13 and what I've been masking with (typically crap) heroin since I was 23. No more.

I want to get back exercising this week anyway for a start - back on the bike in a bid to kickstart the dopamine production. After I fit some study in tomorrow morning I'll hit up an online NA meeting via zoom as I'm not quite in the frame of mind to attend in person as my anxiety is still quite physical and 'raw'. I have Diazepam to take as needed but I'm trying to keep my system as clean as possible and only use them when I absoloutely need to, which I dont considering I have the option to attend online.

Perhaps finding a proper counsellor will end this cycle. This last run should have never happened - I had gone back to college to study Audio Engineering and was so, so happy - even when the pandemic happened I didnt even relapse until 6 and a half months into it and that was down to a chance meeting with someone I should have just crossed over to the other side of the road from as soon as I saw them but anyway, coming out the otherside of it now. Slowly - slower than last time - but surely.
 
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you certainly need to address the underlying issues to get the best chance of being clean long term.

as well as NHS, look into what your drugs services offer. i found the groups offered at mine really good, much to my surprise. they may also be able to forward you to charities that offer counselling around specific areas- there may be help for grief. i got some specific counselling from a charity regarding some of the trauma i'd been through and it really helped. i was told about it by my key worker, no idea if i'd have been able to find them on my own.

have you tried meditation? it helped me massively in early recovery. i really need to start doing it regularly again.
 
I've tried meditation in the past, yes. Theres few things I wont try in the name of bettering my situation. I thought I would have had enough to get my bike fixed this week but unfortunately I'll have to leave that until next week I'm afraid - but getting back into cycling is something I'm really looking forward to doing. I know Winters around the bend but I might be lucky to fit a couple of weeks of cycling around the city before the weather takes too much of a turn for the worst. I can always wear waterproof gear anyway.

Day 13 now - every day that goes by now should see me get stronger mentally. I've been noticing that I havent been feeling as hopeless as I was so thats something. Let's see how the weekend goes.
 
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