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Detox Heroin Detox Journal

endlessnameless

endlessnameless

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 23, 2010
Messages
1,119
Location
Dublin
Day 0


I managed to get 3 weeks of clean time back in April, then after learning that my dad had terminal cancer I went off the rails and I've been smoking a bag a day since around April 10th. So now I'm stopping and I need to just make this thread to keep myself sane by doing daily check ins and documenting the process. In my experience symptoms tend to begin easing off around day 10 so if I can make it a week I know I'm nearly there. I have 120mgs of Valium, Ditrophan for the sweats, Ipbuprofen for aches and pains and enough immodium to cover me for the first 4 days. I owe out all my money this week and I'm just done.

What worked for me the last time was to take 2-3 Neurophen Plus (12.8mgs codeine in each) a day for about a week which makes the process slightly less miserable so thats what I'll be doing for the first few days. Anyway wish me luck, I'll keep daily updates. Its going to hurt but its temporary. Any tips appreciated, however having been down this route before I dont think theres anything that can help me other than suffering through the pain.

Some words of encourgement would help though, as I cant tell anyone I'm going through this. I'm at home helping my family take care of my father and I have to hide it from them until its over. One thing I WONT be doing is lying in bed all day. We're renovating the family home here so I'll be grinding away with physical labour to sweat this out of me as well as pounding the water and electrolyes so as to flush it all out asap.

Anyway, hope everyone is doing well. I'm looking forward to this being over and I'm glad I've made this decision. Thanks for reading.
 
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First and foremost, Im really sorry to hear about your father. That's tough stuff to deal with. Going thru it now will help you to really maximize your time with him while you can. When you look back on this in the future, you will be so glad you made this decision.

Same habit as me, I want to do what you are doing so bad. I had 3 days in a couple months back and then gave in. I shouldve just stuck it out. What is neurophen? Are you in Europe?

I saw someone here on Bluelight recommend hot epsom salt baths for the muscle cramps/spasms/aches and Im telling you, it worked wonders!! Took away all cramping and aching for hours. Not sure if we really absorb the Mg thru our pores but it really helped.

I read some studies that DXM helps lessen WD symptoms so I tried that also and it did help a bit but that was in combination with clonidine which is what they did in the studies I read. I used some leftover cough meds that contained DXM along with other stuff. I didnt have the cash to go out n buy something with only DXM.

Another thing that I find really helps me a lot is forcing myself to eat something. Its sooooo hard bc lack of appetite, stomach issues etc so I just basically drink chicken noodle the cheap kind that you are supposed to add a can of water to. And protein shakes. Just to get something in my stomach really helps with the lack of energy, headaches and stomach pains - a lot of that is due to hunger for me (but just dont feel the normal hungry feeling).

Documenting the process will be a big help to others on here. I dont think anyone else has documented this for heroin withdrawal specifically- other opiates but wasnt able to find one for H. However,I may have been looking in the wrong places.

You've got this!! Im rooting for you!! Ill be following your progress and will make any suggestions I can think of as you go!! Hang in there!
 
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well done for getting back on it endless. as long as you're trying, you have a chance.

i'm not surprised your dad getting ill knocked you back. mine getting cancer (he's in remission now thank fuck) propelled me to the absolute worst of my addiction. most important though is you now need to be present with him, his time is limited and you don't wanna waste what you have left with him cos you're not really there mentally.

neurofen plus isn't a bad shout. though i wouldn't drop down to 0 on that straight away after a week. it makes no sense to me cos its so short acting but when i've used it i've found that i need to taper slowly off that, like getting down to 1 a day then 1 every other day to not feel noticeably ill.

assuming a point for a bag, that's not too much, but i think you've been doing this long enough now that the size/duration of this current run doesn't really have an effect on extent of withdrawals. i found it to be essentially random, sometimes i'd think i was in for a really bad time and get lucky, sometimes when i was trying to chip i'd suddenly get really ill off just slightly stronger brown than usual then i'd be back on full time habit.
 
Hey folks, had a false start last week due to some appointments I had to take my father to (and I couldn't go sick). I began today so heres to day one (or day 0, rather). Thanks for your tips and words of encouragement, I'll keep you updated.

This heatwave we're getting over here in ireland isn't making things any easier though I can tell you.

No real point in documenting day zero as no symptoms are apparent so I'll begin tomorrow. Take care. I absolutely DREADING this.
 
Day 1

Woke up in a lather of sweat together with an awful feeling of dread. Took 5 Neurophen Plus. Went on a short cycle to try cool down but eventually had to head home as the anxiety was beginning to set in. I have some Valium put aside for when the anxiety gets that bad that I can't function.

Have to go for my second Covid Jab tomorrow morning however I'm getting a lift down and back so I don't think I'll need to dip into the Valium. If I had to walk down and/or if this was a week down the line I'd HAVE to in order to be even able to walk down the road in a straight line but those will be kept aside for days when we're taking my father out.

Biggest next milestone ahead of me is not taking anything off my dealer when I'm paying him off on Thursday. He knows I'm kicking and I know him a long time so don't think he'll even offer. The answer will be no anyway.

Sitting in the sun of a little bit to flush out the system - knocking back the water too.

Have some anti-inflammatory and deep heat patches for when the back pain kicks in.

My personal estimation based on passed ewperience is that I should be feeling much more like the me I miss by April 10th.

The quicker I can make that date co'e the better, so no sitting around in the house all day. If there's an offer to go out for a drive with the family I'll go out.

I can do my ECDL/ICDL exams online and by the time I'm feeling better I'll be finished those and I'll get my certificate. It means I can apply for clerical positions until I decide what in the world I want to do with my life...

That's one thing that's scaring me: Getting back into the workforce at 34 with not a lot of work experience behind me.
 
endless!! how you doing? glad you're back on it. sorry not to reply sooner i've been away with work with awful internet reception in the evenings.

hows the kick going? really hope you didn't score off your dealer on thurs.
 
I think the best words of encouragement is that I/we are all going through this. I just lost my 2 sons because of fucking fentanyl being at the house and I am so fucking mad at myself. I’m also cleaning my act up because if my kids touched that shit they could die so I’m not even mad at the authorities that took them, it makes sense. I’m 3 weeks clean and it was insane to get to this point. We are all fighting an uphill battle but we have to make a decision to do it. I’ve enough drugs for one life time, I’m sure I’ve done more drugs than 90% of the world, so in that sense I feel special, but it’s over now. I’ve lived that life, it’s time to live another life. We only get one life on this world, might as well not waste it as a junkie. I am glad I lived that life, because the highs were super high, like I’ve been on private jets before and the high from heroin was better, so I got to experience a high that’s almost unreachable by normal living, even if you are a millionaire. That high doesn’t last long though and starts to become a chore rather than an enjoyable experience.
 
Hey, just wanted to say that I got some methadone on thursday that helped me over the first few days and now I'm on day 3 with nothing at all. Feeling quite low, so I'll give a proper update when I get a few more days under my belt (day 10 I'd say, as thats when the sweats usually subside for me and the rest of the symptoms start to fade).


Hope you're all doing well. I feel very down but not enough to score - theres no enjoyment in it anymore.
 
endlessnameless said:
Hey, just wanted to say that I got some methadone on thursday that helped me over the first few days and now I'm on day 3 with nothing at all. Feeling quite low, so I'll give a proper update when I get a few more days under my belt (day 10 I'd say, as thats when the sweats usually subside for me and the rest of the symptoms start to fade).


Hope you're all doing well. I feel very down but not enough to score - theres no enjoyment in it anymore.
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Hang in there buddy! We are all rooting for you!!
 
endlessnameless said:
Hey, just wanted to say that I got some methadone on thursday that helped me over the first few days and now I'm on day 3 with nothing at all. Feeling quite low, so I'll give a proper update when I get a few more days under my belt (day 10 I'd say, as thats when the sweats usually subside for me and the rest of the symptoms start to fade).


Hope you're all doing well. I feel very down but not enough to score - theres no enjoyment in it anymore.
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You got this! We got this! I am only in week 4 and the cravings are definitely there but my brain remembers all the good about it. I have to remind my brain the bad about it. The relationships it breaks, the paycheck to paycheck living. It’s terrible to live needing to feed addiction before yourself.
 
Thanks so much for your support folks. In 10 days I'll be completely out of this - 10 days from today as my withdrawals last a good solid two weeks - so now its all about just taking it day by day and keeping my eye on the prize. I'm in absolute HELL right now but its the last hell I'll be going through and I know that. I'm about to pick up some valium which should help me out after a few days.

Does anyone else notice that diazepam doesnt have much effect until after about 4 or 5 days after you enter the pits of WD's?
Cant be just me. I'd say within those first 4-6 days the CNS is just too overwhelmed for them to have much of an effect. I've taken up to 80mg

Sticking with the mantra that "the pain is only temporary".

Going to print this off and stick it to my wall with 10 boxes underneath that I'm going to tick off at the end of each of the next 10 days. Whatever works eh? Thank you to every single one of you for keeping me going in this awful time.
 
Johnnywadd said:
I think the best words of encouragement is that I/we are all going through this. I just lost my 2 sons because of fucking fentanyl being at the house and I am so fucking mad at myself. I’m also cleaning my act up because if my kids touched that shit they could die so I’m not even mad at the authorities that took them, it makes sense. I’m 3 weeks clean and it was insane to get to this point. We are all fighting an uphill battle but we have to make a decision to do it. I’ve enough drugs for one life time, I’m sure I’ve done more drugs than 90% of the world, so in that sense I feel special, but it’s over now. I’ve lived that life, it’s time to live another life. We only get one life on this world, might as well not waste it as a junkie. I am glad I lived that life, because the highs were super high, like I’ve been on private jets before and the high from heroin was better, so I got to experience a high that’s almost unreachable by normal living, even if you are a millionaire. That high doesn’t last long though and starts to become a chore rather than an enjoyable experience.
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When you say lost, do you mean custody?
 
Thought I posted that post about getting the valium an hour ago when I wrote it but it was still sitting on my computer when I came back. Got them and took 50mgs and they're kicking in now and jesus they're definitely helping big time. I have 22 x 10mgs left which I'm going to keep for another couple of days before I take any more. Unfortunately I couldnt get any methadone but look, maybe its just aswell - ultimately I'm only delaying the inevitable with it. Its just handy to have in case I have to take my father out and I dont want my nose dripping down to my toes covered in a lather of cold sweat and frequent hot flushes. At least I wont be shaking with anxiety.

I'll have to pay for those next week, and then that numbers getting deleted. Its my only drug connect number left and I cant wait until next thursday comes so I can delete it as that'll be another milestone. Three days after that my sweats will ease off and I'll begin feeling clearer in my mind and more positive. Dark 10 days ahead but the last dark 10 days ever and thats motivation enough.
 
it definitely is just as well you couldn't get more methadone. it really does just draw things out. you'd be surprised how quickly your tolerance drops and how little will get you through after a few days.

like seriously i went through a phase of rattling once every few weeks cos i was going to visit my (abusive bastard) ex and couldn't use while i was there. i'd always wake up drenched the first night and feel ill as fuck the first day cos i always thought somehow this would be the time i got clean so only took enough to make me feel just about human. how much better the same amount of neurofen plus/lope/whatever would make me feel on the sunday rather than the saturday was insane.

drop that connect ASAP. its so easy to cross addict (i have to alcohol the past year though not enough to ruin my life the way hard drugs did). its hard. even when i was living in manchester i couldn't delete my connects in fucking norwich, 5 hours away. i had to get a mate to do it and i then hated her for deleting my numbers.
 
Totally agree with everything you said there @chinup
The Neurophen Plus and Diazepam combo should be enough for any outings I have to attend to, such as tomorrow (well, this afternoon now at this stage of the morning) with my mother and father. Due to my father being ill I'd feel so crushingly beyond guilty if I couldn't make it due to being incapacitated with withdrawals so at least I have them there. I also have the Ditrophan which work good enough for the sweats and I have well enough of them to get me over the next 10 or so days.
We're blessed to be able to get codeine OTC here in Europe - as long as you're sensible with it then its ideal for our purposes (taking the edge off withdrawals). Have some loperimide too. Not a lot but enough for 3 days when the WDs peak, which I'm expecting if not tomorrow then Sunday/Monday.

I dont know if I've mentioned it but I'm currently doing the ICDL (formerly the ECDL) in an effort to get back into the work-force and become a productive member of society again. I did an exam today and got 95% so I'm proud of myself for that. I've done four so far and my lowest score in any has been 91% (pass mark is 85%) so it makes me feel good in myself that I'm being productive despite being in withdrawal. Thankfully I can do these exams remotely and dont have to show up to an exam hall to do them because that just wouldnt be possible.

Fearful about entering the work-force and the inevitable interviews I'm going to have to go through and be grilled on what exactly I've been up to for the last few years since I was last employed, however I'll have the qualification behind me and I have a key worker who's going to get me into a part-time job for a few months so that I can build up some experience and use that employer as a reference, so after that I expect I'll be more confident. I need to stop obsessing about how they're going to judge me in the interviews though and just focus on staying sober and completing my exams. Worry wont get me anywhere - if anything it's what landed me here in the first place. I'll be in a much more positive mood soon though and gradually my posts should reflect that.

Thanks to everyone again for your support, it means the world to me.
Also - if anyone's into using apps for tracking their sobriety, I can highly recommend 'I Am Sober'. Out of the lot, and theres a few, this has been the one that has actually played a big role in getting me sober the last two times - the last time being for 3 weeks back in April, and for over 10 months before that prior to the pandemic...I was in college studying Music Production/Audio Engineering and was about to go on and do a Diploma. Hoping to return, but obviously achieving some solid sober time and working towards dissipating the cognitive haze I'm in at the moment is paramount before I start jumping into the likes of circumstances that can cause me stress.

Nice to have goals though. Damn I was so happy in that course and the future looked so bright...
I'll get there again. I always bounce back. Trick is to stay there this time.
 
Johnnywadd said:
You got this! We got this! I am only in week 4 and the cravings are definitely there but my brain remembers all the good about it. I have to remind my brain the bad about it. The relationships it breaks, the paycheck to paycheck living. It’s terrible to live needing to feed addiction before yourself.
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Great job on 4 weeks dude!! That's awesome!!
 
yes we are really lucky to be able to still get codeine OTC, i'm sure its been a life saver for many. and its so easy to take more meth/sub than you probably need if you're trying to get clean and just need something to smooth out your rattle. whereas i certainly found it less tempting to overuse OTC as it has very little recreational value.

well done on working towards that qualification. i'm biased cos i am a coder but computng is a great field to get into. pretty recession/disaster proof cos no company is ever not going to need IT systems and if you get the right sort of job it can be very interesting.

i the i am sober app free? does it annoy you with ads or make you buy stuff? as of tomorrow i am done with drinking and feeling very nervous so would be worth a shot.

don't worry about jobs too much. i was petrified too witht he gap in my CV but my boyfriend just told me if anyone asked to say I'd been lookng after a sick relative, and its kinda true for you.
 
No ads and no attempts to make you buy anything at all. Theres also a little community on there too and badges you earn as you move through your sobriety. First ones at 5 days, then 7, then double digits (ie 10days) etc. together with a counter that counts your days, minutes and hours. Really worth downloading. I'm SOBER32 on there if you want to add me. Had to make a new account - on my old one I had 295 days sober or something nearing that.

So, approximately nine more days left until my symptoms ease off. Taking it day by day. Already been out today to help my mother do the shopping, now I'm taking my father out.
 
Congratulations dude im happy for you. Stick at it my friend
Ive juat done 17 uears clean of heroin and crack relapsed after injury /surgery and prescribed fentanyl and oxycodone. Im not on a script methadone admittedly but im 8 weeks clean of H yesterday.
Feeling looking better. My labido back that and my apitite with a vengeance 🔥😂
Stick with it mate if one thing i learned in my 17 yr abstinence is that if your help yourself. Others are alot more inclined to help you along the way. And days enviabtly turn to weeks, weeks add to months, months merge into the years amd it gets easier and easier every month those first 2 to 3 years but in all honesty after the 3 year period its no longer a issure cravings are to zero and thoughts are not even entertained they're memories now. Life gets better your views opinions amd even looks all change for the better. So many positives to abstinence and so many negatives go with using. Wish u all the luck... Believe in yourself 💯✌️
 
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