Heroin and the psyche: a thesis on junk

[Dreaming With Dope]

Hey guys... ive got an issue i want to address which may give aid to those trying to quite. ive recently begun a real, true attempt at going clean from an 11 month binge, without having more than 7 days free from heroin/opiate. im almost 19, freshmen in college. anyway, being the psychedelic advocate i am, i was thinking tonight after blazing a couple fat bowls about the nature of heroin addiction, and why it is the devastating, life-devouring creature that it is. without too much bullshit, basically what it boils down to is that heroin=life. heroin is everything. it comes before everything. it is THE most important and significant factor in your life; it matters most out of any possible factor.

since this is the case, the drug builds its own womb-life reality around you. you really do get put back in a womb, the heroin womb. it protects you from everything, and makes everything perfect. youre cool man! its alright! just a push away. thats the crazy part of this whole thing; the instant gratification aspect of its affect on the mind. just one fucking push away, thats all it takes. your worst possible hell all gone in under 5 seconds with just one push.

it is this instant gratifitation business which fuels and drives the addiction monster and when you combine that with its ultra-protective, everything-ok, orgasmic-feeling body-high-thing, you get the worst demon of the human being.



i just want to open this up to discussion about why heroin addiction is the monster it can be.

mods if this should be moved, go for it, i placed it here because i figured since its large forum, the life-style stuff should be talked about just as well as the specific drugs themselves. or now that i think of it... maybe drug culture? if it should go there, my bad

peace guys

 

[hunterdog1993]

Well, apart from your flawed premise that heroin=life (it only seems that way when you have a habit), I think you've answered your own question. A heroin high is to a junkie what a drink is to an alcoholic, etc, etc.
I wouldn't be so rude as to suggest that you have a firm grasp of the obvious, but some might !

I've always thought Burroughs said it best... maybe all pleasure is relief.

 

[batailleseyes]

I feel that any form of so called psychotherapy is strongly contraindicated for addicts. The question "Why did you start using narcotics in the first place?" should never be asked. It is quite as irrelevant to treatment as it would be to ask a malarial patient why he went to a malarial area.
-W. Burroughs
perhaps the notion that W.B. posits in regards to the origin of addiction could also be said of the magnitude of addiction

 

[OnAndOffDruggie]

Well, apart from your flawed premise that heroin=life (it only seems that way when you have a habit), I think you've answered your own question. A heroin high is to a junkie what a drink is to an alcoholic, etc, etc.
I wouldn't be so rude as to suggest that you have a firm grasp of the obvious, but some might !

I've always thought Burroughs said it best... maybe all pleasure is relief.

I agree...well...MOST pleasure is relief anyways...

 

[karloff123]

William Burroughs said it best "Junk is not a kick, like coke or weed....junk is a way of life" Once you get into "the life" its hard to return to the "straight world".....The scary thing is you can be clean for years and all it takes is for some adverse thing to happen in your life like a parents death or a divorce etc and your back riding the horse with a ten ton monkey riding on your back! "once a junkie,always a junkie"

 

[batailleseyes]

Well, we've hijacked this thread and turned it into the, "William Burroughs Quote Thread." Interesting, but it belongs somewhere else. In fact, move it to drug culture, and we'll keep ignoring the original post and turn this into "Favorite Quotes About Drugs" thread. Unless it's been done, then fuck it.

 

[Dreaming With Dope]

gee sorry guys, all i was trying to do was offer up some insight into the nature of opiate addiction in hopes that it could help some people maneuver around its death-grip, or maybe be a caution sign to those thinking of dipping into the world of the needle.

i know i for one had no idea what i was in for once i had acquired a true habit

 

[batailleseyes]

Don't worry about it. I'm sure we all see the intent of this thread (its good intentions). We're just fucking jaded assholes.

 

[wofo]

i agree with the good intentions . Hopefully itll hit home with a to be junky thats not to far in yet.

 

[paradoxcycle]

This belongs in DC or the Dark Side. Ask someone to move it for you.

 

[fastandbulbous]

It's when I realized that it was becoming the be all and end all of existance, combined with how much it seemed to change some people, that I thought "no more"

That actual moment came because I was standing in a car park, rain/sleet pissing down, trying to control 20 second wretches, shaking like I was plugged into the mains and waiting for someone to turn up in his car, so that I could give him the last of my money for a tiny amount of brown powder. I had a moment of total clarity, an epiphany of sorts, and thought to myself "is this the way you want to be forever more". That was the last lot I bought; I made up to a certain volume, and everytime I took out some for a hit, I replaced it with an equal volume of sterile water. It wasn't pleasant (nowhere near as bad as cold turkey), but when it was over I was really proud of myself for stopping (strangely, I wasn't disguisted with myself for starting!).

That said though, I've had to make an effort to keep clear of anyone who might have some to sell, as it is so seductive, that I don't think even memories of all the shit I went through would effect me quick enough to stop myself (one dose and all of those memories of feeling sick and crappy start to take on an almost nostagic feel. If I'm going to get nostalgic about something, I want it to be something that was positive that I miss).

As the first poster said "once a junkie, always a junkie". I'm retired from it now, and like people who retire from work, I have no intentions of going back.


PS. The reason there are so many quotes from William Burroghs is because he was a total opiate devotee, but also was literate and had the desire to write. My personal favourite that rings true is about dealers selling the people to the drug, not the drug to the people (including the bit about addicts crawling through sewers etc just to get some). Basically, the man knew about opiate addiction inside out.

 

[rachamim18]

On Burroughs...

Hmmm...I would be lying if I claimed not to value his work but I also have a difficult time lauding a spoiled rich junkie. The product of a trust fund he lived his life by choice. Many of us can only dream of that existence. I know it seems like straight jealousy [and indeed I have to admit that this is a large part of it] but I fail to see how anyone who had a fix whenever they wished could actually offer insight on "the life." I know about his exile, etc. but still...from my [and others] perspective he only had one foot in the door...In fact, if anything, the man should be criticisized for romantiscizing an ugly part of life. Who among us who have ACTUALLY lived and suffered for the "rush" would wish it upon our worst enemy?

 

[mrcontin]

I agree with ya rach.. whenever he got bored he'd check himself in for the "cure" and get a nice little treatment.. i know plenty of people who dont have that option.. and he never did any real time even after all the petty theft, accidental killing of his wife, forging scripts, and selling and using dope.. wonder if that would be the case if he wasnt the product of a rich midwest family with money for connected lawyers.

 

[batailleseyes]

Rachamim...Though I agree with the thrust of your opinion (Burroughs- trust-fund brat) we also have to be able to separate the man's personal life from his work (even if it was "informed" by it). I am no great fan of WB, but many of his ideas have merit. When it comes down to it, I don't believe I would admire half of the figures in history whose work I find powerful if I based my opinion partially on their personal lives... Nietzsche, Sartre, Rachmaninov, Gogol, Rodin, Carrot Top (just kidding)... etc. etc. rarely did their lives equal their creative output... in fact most of the people I just listed were down right awful in their personal lives (the exception being Carrot Top, he's just awful... an abomination of carbon). Plus, I'm not quite sure, having read a few biographies on the man, WB, that his life was quite as easy as you make it sound (certainly, it was easier than being a poor junkie). Just my opinion.

 

[fastandbulbous]

Yes, he was in a better situation compared with most users, but that doesn't invalidate his views on the nature of the craving for a hit etc. just that if he could find some, he could afford it (you can't always find it when you need it, but why am I telling people who write here? You know that already).

I do find a lot of what he writes difficult to read/get into, but he does come up with the odd gem regarding peoples relationships with opiates (actually, I find a fiar bit is just rambling bollocks commited to print, but then again, psychedelics have been the pharmacological love of my life, so I tend to find Ken Kesey, Hunter S Thompson, P J O'Rourke etc have more resonance with me)

 

[davesoviet]

I agree with ya rach.. whenever he got bored he'd check himself in for the "cure" and get a nice little treatment.. i know plenty of people who dont have that option..

My parents paid for me to go to rehab. And although I payed for my habit by working, at the same time I was living at home for next to nothing.

Does that make me less of a junky than you or your friends? Should I apologize for being able to afford my habit?

I still had to give up other pursuits in life because I didn't have time for them between working and maintaining my habit. I still had to go cold turkey to quit. I still live in fear of going back to such a consuming addiction. I'm sure Burroughs had to deal with this all the same, too.

I agree with Rach's contempt of Burroughs for romanticizing a disgusting and destructive habit. And I also hold contempt for people that look to celebrity junkies like Burroughs, in part, to justify their own use.

 

[Dreaming With Dope]

I agree with Rach's contempt of Burroughs for romanticizing a disgusting and destructive habit. And I also hold contempt for people that look to celebrity junkies like Burroughs, in part, to justify their own use.

I agree man, nobody should blame anyone but themselves for their own use. YOU were the one who made the choice to use the drug so much, so it is entirely 100% YOUR responsibility.

Celebrity junkies are there for us to live vicariously through... back in the day, you went to see Aerosmith because watching Tyler and the Toxic Twins all wasted on heroin gave you an outlet to let your own personal demons out. You didnt have to go out and actually do what they did

 

[rachamim18]

Burroughs...

Batail: It is not so easy though, to diffirentiate between his work and his personal life. After all, he capitalized, and built his reputation on, his lifelong love affair of opiates. I do not dismiss Freud for having been a dope fiend or coke whore [sic]. I also do not feel that the gnawing desire that takes over one's soul is any different for a person that just happened to be born under the right star...As Fast said, his work does merit recognition...Ii'd be the first to offer that he did have a singular style. I just do not think that he reigns supreme as the person best able to express this paticular circle of hell we just happen to inhabit. For my moneyI would take Luc Sante over Burroughs any day ofthe week.

Dave: Other than the paragraph above I'd like to offer a little more of my perspective on the situation.No, having parents [or others] whom are willing to help shoulder the burden of your addiction does not make you less of a junkie. In fact it just means that you are very fortunate. It also means that up until this point you still have a support system that allows you to avoid the true depths of depravity that are always lying in wait. You also have to concede that it means that you have not known what it is like to burn every bridge inyour small existence and come to know and understand the true definition of "alone." Such fortunate person may know very well the desire of addiction but has no way ofknowing the true despair of the majority of addicts. The point after all istodispel the notion that Burroughs is some junkie icon other than a very talented writer.

I agree that too many people are drawn into this via seductive media images. In fact, my use started along a very similar line...or rather the frame of mind that allowed me to begin using was inspired by such drivel.

 

[blase deviant]

Heroin isn't the only drug that can become a way of life...

 

[batailleseyes]

Rach... Let me begin by saying I believe we are getting at the same thing, so let's not get too bogged down in semantics.

I never said it was "easy" to separate a person from his/her creative output-- the two are often intimately linked. But, I said it was something that is necessary as a critical thinker. Again, I am no Burroughs advocate, he is just the example because of this particular thread.

"I also do not feel that the gnawing desire that takes over one's soul is any different for a person that just happened to be born under the right star..." I am not really sure what you're getting at here, it's a little vague. I assume you mean addiction, but I'm not sure.

As far as glorification of drug abuse... I'm a little too old to be impressed with the trite posturing of Jim Morrison, Burroughs, and others of their ilk. For most, it's just something that one outgrows. Then again, some never do.