Hey Rachel1985,
I've sorted out all your posts for you and gathered everything together here.
First of all I'd like to say this is quite the dangerous task that you've set out for yourself. You seem like you have made up your mind but we would not be upholding Bluelight's purpose of harm reduction if we didn't allow ample time and effort to be used first trying to convince you this is a poor idea and no matter what you believe at the moment you have other options.
Remember we are trying to look out for your best interests because we don't want anything bad to happen to you. This also means that there are people here who will help you inject into your femoral vein minimizing the risk as much as possible so that you don't go randomly stabbing into your leg, but first we have to make sure that there isn't a better way in which we can help first.
There are lots of people on Bluelight who have been in almost the exact some situation where you have been, and lots who have gotten out of it and want nothing more than to help those who are stuck where they used to be. Perhaps this is just the thing you needed to make a change or two in your life?
Anyways I'd encourage you to read up on the femoral artery and what happens if you puncture it, and if you'd like to share your story on how you ended up in this position I'd like to hear, I'm sure it would be appreciated by many others as well, and it might do you some good telling it as well.
I look forward to hearing from you
MOD NOTE:
While convincing arguments are encouraged and tough love permissible, any attacks on character, judgmental posts, or really anything else which I or other mods find inappropriate will be dealt with and not just swept aside. Consider this your only warning. The OP is clearly in a tough place, must have been through a lot to get here, and is in need of our assistance and support. If you take enjoyment in putting down others who are worse off than you to minimize your own problems then please don't bother posting.