Here's my sappy poem - enjoy!

[Amanita Mary]

We were stuck
on each other's eyes
for fucking ever
before we touched
and as we hug
all the stars wink
the world slows
to the speed of bugs
and we don't give a fuck
what people think, see
there's this receptive
flood of energy between
my hand and his sleeve
his chest and my breathing
every tingling bit of our bodies
responding sincerely
to stomachs filled with
more than just butterflies
but the warmest of all the lights
and the coziest fucking comfort
I ever imagined in my mind
see - this compassion shook
far beyond one of a kind
and into the deepest night's sky
where the moon cowardly smirks and sighs
in the shadows
of you and I

 

[(Wordy)]

This reminds me of some of the stuff I was writing when I first fell in love with my wife...

Love is not overrated.

 

[Strawberry_lovemuffin]

I think you do this an injustice when you call it a soppy poem.

It's not - it's great.

I love the way you write: it has a hard, gritty, 'real' feel to it, and even if your topic matter is love, it never sinks into cliche.

I like these bits especially:

and as we hug
all the stars wink
the world slows
to the speed of bugs


and:

this compassion shook
far beyond one of a kind
and into the deepest night's sky
where the moon cowardly smirks and sighs
in the shadows
of you and I

(very E.E. Cummings!)

I wish I could write about happy things like this Or, happy things at all rather :D

 

[Raz]

When I read 'sappy poem' I nearly bypassed this, but then I saw the author and I decided to read it anyway because I like your stuff - I liked this...SLM's right, you're doing yourself an injustice as this is quite an enjoyable piece.

 

[jameslovesyou]

now that's a love poem.
very very nice piece.

i was going to pull my favorite part out to quote here, but i would have to put the whole thing here.

love and light.

 

[Amanita Mary]

Aww... thanks guys! i just automatically presume my love poems a bit sappy because of the subject matter... i'm used to awkward, gritty topics ... definitely haven't written any love poems in a while- so the one's ive been writing recently, although filled with just that(love), appear to be little pansies in my journal. i should really stop judging pieces based on subject matter alone... you never know.