I thought I would check in since you guys have been so open about your situations. I haven't posted anything lately because I didn't think I had anything constructive to add. Also, like I've said before I feel the yin and yang of everything I say. I couldn't articulate that before. Like that song Revolution, Don't you know you can count me out in. The dead of the afternoon is the worst part of the day for me. I feel better when most people are home from work and enjoying their evening free time too. I've been enjoying this Vietnamese guy who goes by Huy Duc on the PBS Vietnam War series. I found out he was on facebook and messaged him and he wrote back to say thanks. Made my night.
I've never slept well but lately it's gotten worse than ever. I'm sure part of it is because my doctor fired me. That's a whole other story. Since March I've gotten off lexapro, lyrica and reduced my bupe down to about 350 - 500 ug per day with only enough for a few more days. There are probably other meds, but these are the ones that are likely to be problematic and my concentration is fucked due to lack of sleep. So far sweating, lack of energy and insomnia have been the worst symptoms. I know the prognosis is not very good for opioid addiction but there are people here that have done it. I've really got no other choice at the moment. As you know from the partner finding post benzo's are not an option for me anymore. I have been drinking a shot or two of drambuie and chasing it with sips of beer in the evenings and I don't even like alcohol that much (says the guy with 3 dui's). To be fair, my last dui was in 1986 and those were mostly substances in a time when they didn't look for them. I don't know that alcohol really helps with sleep though. I am going to try harder to keep my personal biases out. I know the worst is to come but like you I am an optimist. If I can get thru this, my wife is okay with me looking into doctor administered ketamine for depression. I don't know if my lifetime of extensive drug use will make that not possible. I'm not going to get OCD over this post, I'm just going to post it.