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Here comes the rain - Opiate w/d again

areros18 said:
I tried growing some in so cal and they sprouted a bit and died.
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:( Thats sad as hell...Baby poppies...dead

@RobotRipping - ACID Reflux even sounds painful lol. Thats tight, I like Mexico for lots of reasons (I can buy cervesa over there haha) but for the medications too! Plus over there, the Doctors actually try to help you...not give you Prozac or some shit when you dont want them too. I guess you could say the "medical industry" hasnt hit Mexico...at least not hard.
I know that feeling so well...The feeling where its like you have to start from scratch, yet feel shitty at the same time...Do you ever get spurts of energy/motivation? Like some STRONG ones...Sometimes I do, and I'll be reading self-help books and come night time im like "Fuck yea I can do anything if I keep this up!" But then morning comes and its like a 180 degree turn!

When you go to school, hopefully you find like-minded individuals to hang out with. I mean, it would be way funner atleast or bearable right? Best of luck to you man, Im returning to college soon also. (only did 1 semester lol)
 
yeah i get insane bouts of energy, inspiration, hopefullness, euphoria and crushing depression, i think i'm bipolar, my dad is, but whatever. It would be nice to make some like minded friends at school, it's always fun to talk shop with someone, even drugs. Thanks
 
Careful not to diagnose yourself or let an addiction-ignorant doctor diagnose you too soon. Pretty much everyone feels manic, depressed, and bipolar when they first get clean. Something like 90% of us will see these symptoms clear in a short month or two. It will, on average, get better and better each day, with the occasional shitty day. Don't forget, this wildness of emotion is temporary. I'm in your corner man. Not throwing any damn towel either. Hang ass on. It's worth it.

RobotRipping said:
yeah i get insane bouts of energy, inspiration, hopefullness, euphoria and crushing depression, i think i'm bipolar, my dad is, but whatever. It would be nice to make some like minded friends at school, it's always fun to talk shop with someone, even drugs. Thanks
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it makes no difference if i am bp or not, i'm still the same person underneath but i can certainly relate to every symptom. It's been like this since i was 18 (now 26) and gradually started when i was even younger. I'm not sure what issue i have but i'm going to see a psych in january so maybe i will get my own label finally.

the withdrawal gets better and better but my underlying issues start popping up once the drugs are gone. I feel fucking nuts sometimes, manic other times, depressed, and sometimes completely disconnected and feeling like i am in a dream. It's interesting at least, but sometimes the questions in my head drive me crazy (took philosophy in school). Sorry, rambling, i'll keep struggling for stability, i'm not ready to back down, give in or quit.
 
At RoboTr- I really believe, for some of us, there is an underlying reason why we take drugs. We self medicate. We tune out. We relax. I've had anxiety disorder panic attacks and depression since I was 11 - I sure as hell wasn't snorting opana's, drinking bottles of brown or popping hydros like tic tacs then. I was sleeping with my mom And staying home "sick" from school.
 
^yeah i remember throwing hissy fits at 3-4 years old to get out of school because i was actually having a panic attack about being away from my family. I've been a bit socially weird ever since, it's like i had to study people in order to learn how to interact with them. Kind of like mild aspergers or autism, i don't know. I've had anxiety for as long as i can remember, some of my earliest memories are of anxiety. Depression didn't hit until i was 12 and my dad tried to commit suicide and was later diagnosed as BP. Then worse shit happened and happened and eventually i made it through. Then somehow got hooked on benzos, then opiates, then benzos then opiates again and i've been stuck. I wasn't well adjusted before either, i was a social recluse.

I guess i just need to sort out the underlying issues, i know what they are but do not know how to let them go really. I've learned techniques but nothing really works. I need to numb the pain sometimes. There are other times though where i feel really good and just want to get fucked up and have fun. It's a big mess but i am a strong person and will get through it one way or another.

thanks for the post areros, i can really relate to where you're coming from.
 
RobotRipping said:
There are other times though where i feel really good and just want to get fucked up and have fun. It's a big mess
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You hit the proverbial nail on the fucking head. But when I'm in a "good" phase I almost feel apologetic to those that know me.

Yeah, I remember preschool. I attended a few days before my mother was told I wasn't mature enough to stay. I'd cry six hours straight.

Or peeing in my kindergarten seat because I was afraid to use the restroom alone.

Sucks being a scared child.
 
when i trip i feel apologetic, like all the bad stuff doesn't really matter and love is the be all end all of life. That wears off as soon as the drug does though and it can be embarassing.

my first 2 years of school i didn't talk to anyone. At first i was shy but after a few months of doing this, i was like well i gotta keep up the act now, this is how they know me. It was messed up and i had my teachers concerned. ALl that time and no one thought to give me medical attention or therapy or some shit. I was born this way, 'weird indian kid' as my grandma said lol. I'm only 1/16 native though.

I took a dump in my pants at school in my chair because i didn't know how to ask to go to the bathroom, i had intense anxiety over it and just said fuck it and shit my pants. It got all over the chair and a girl accused me of puking on the chair, to which i admitted, it was better than saying i shit the chair.

It does suck being a scared little child, i knew so little, always felt like i had no one to guide me so i learned everything the hard way. Areros, i think we have a lot in common.
 
By the way. I just found out looking through post that SSRI'S (prozac) and DXM do not mix well and could cause a deadly condition called serotonin syndrome.
I'm glad I found Imodium. Strange thing is I will take 10-12 mgs and still have diarrhea … (gross sorry)
I was never a constipated opiate user.

I have been taking 20 -40 mgs Valium at night tho. Just for a head change. I should bring that down quickly. Benzo addiction is hell.
 
yeah i've been overloading on benzos, 2-3mg of clonazepam plus 2 valium last night. Oh well, at least i am getting further away from opiate addiction. It is rough. Try 20-30mg of lope, i didn't have diarrhea at all and i had a hefty tolerance.
 
^Glad to hear you're still on the train away from opiate-ville.

I don't have to tell you to watch out for benzo addiction replacement. Benzos aren't just hard to come off of once addicted, they're dangerous.
I take 1.5mg clonazepam/day. But now I'm having twitching at night, PLMD, Periodic Limb Movement Disorder.
I can't sleep right. I see the Dr tomorrow. Who knows, he may give me more benzos, though I don't want them. Hell, yeah I do. FML. :-)

Hang in there roborip. You're doing great.

pods
 
yeah i've been through benzo addiction more than i would ever have liked to. This time it will be a very slow and easy taper, likely replaced with kratom. Just can't stay away from drugs completely, always gotta have something to keep me going. I took 120mg codeine today, hardly a relapse as my tolerance is about 800mg codeine, dont even know why i took it. I figured i'd take a day off benzos (with minimal benzo use) and just get high on codeine but my tolerance doesn't work that way.
 
if you have benzos, kratom, and lope, you are gonna be fine. just make sure you only use the kratom for the first 5 days. And if you have kratom, you dont need the benzos , because in theory you should feel no withdrawal symptoms if you keep dosing on kratom every 6-8 hours (whenever you start to feel symptoms is a good sign) Don't use for more than 5 days because you dont want to get addicted to that now do you??

Also , if you really wana go about it in the best way, only use the kratom when you really need it, (i.e. sleeping, stopping the acid ass piss from straining your sphincter).

Then on day 6-7 , use the lope with the benzos , and quit the lope day 8-9, quit the benzos day 8-12, because the final symptoms at the end are sleep, and anxiety depression, and then around day 10-14 you should be starting to feel better. The sleep will be off for maybe another week, but you will slowly adjust.

Make sure that once you stop all the meds, get some exercise early in the day. This really can be the make it or break it for the sleeping issue.
 
i do exercise often enough, like 3x a week. I think i just hopped willingly back on to the benzo train. Now i could be looking at taper during the summer or i could tough it out now but benzo withdrawal right after opiate withdrawa (which is still present a bit) will just have me go crazy.

tbh i'm going on the benzo train, it works for me, satisfied me and helps to function as a normal person.
 
b4rd said:
if you have benzos, kratom, and lope, you are gonna be fine. just make sure you only use the kratom for the first 5 days. And if you have kratom, you dont need the benzos , because in theory you should feel no withdrawal symptoms if you keep dosing on kratom every 6-8 hours (whenever you start to feel symptoms is a good sign) Don't use for more than 5 days because you dont want to get addicted to that now do you??

Also , if you really wana go about it in the best way, only use the kratom when you really need it, (i.e. sleeping, stopping the acid ass piss from straining your sphincter).

Then on day 6-7 , use the lope with the benzos , and quit the lope day 8-9, quit the benzos day 8-12, because the final symptoms at the end are sleep, and anxiety depression, and then around day 10-14 you should be starting to feel better. The sleep will be off for maybe another week, but you will slowly adjust.

Make sure that once you stop all the meds, get some exercise early in the day. This really can be the make it or break it for the sleeping issue.
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Uhhhmmm... NO! The part about not needing benzos?! If you stop benzos suddenly it can be fatal. Robot, you been on the benzos a while right? And you know enough to know that a sudden stop or oven a sudden drop is dangerous, right?
 
over a month, i know to taper tho, all too well. I have plenty stocked up and a script so i am good to go. Yesterday i did 750mg of codeine (it doesnt have a ceiling if you redose, or even if u dont), had a great time and reduced my benzo intake tremendously. I may just use codeine for now, taper off with that as i have many times before, easiest withdrawal i've done. I have the t3s, gonna melt them all down, double boil to powder, dry and put them in caps so no nasty apap.
 
SWIM has withdrawn from several different opiates, numerous times. swim is fresh off a cold turkey detox of heroin (day 5) and symptoms have significantly subsided. This is coming off an eight month run, interrupted briefly by a stint on suboxone. Having also withdrawn from hydromorphone and oxycodone in the past, swim found heroin the most brutal, by far. Its severity is slightly greater than dilaudid withdrawal and a bit longer lasting. Its about twice as nasty as oxy withdrawal, but less than half as long. As far as day to day symptoms, day one and two are tje worst. Swims symptoms peaked at t + 24 hrs since final iv shot of dope, and did not begin to subside until t+ 55 hrs, at which point they gradually began to. By day 4.5, swim had turned a corner and physical retlessness and discomfort had all but vanished. Now on day 5, cravings are strong,and me
ntal haze accomponied w
ith slight depression linger. For me, the wretched discomfort characterized by extreme restlessness throughout the body was the worst part. This was so extreme initially it was borderline painful. On top of that, the insomnia was unrelenting, allowing swim the occasional hour of fitfull sleep, no REM sleep for three days atraight. Also, there were the infamous sweats along with inability of swims body to maintain a comfortable temp. Either hot or freezing and often having hot and cold flashes washing over swims body in waves. Thesd physical symptoms could hardly be managed but some spare clomidine seemed to ease the suffering a bit. Most of anything swim tried, hot baths were the most relieving. They provided a temporary warmth that encompassed the body, easing physical symptoms temporarily. Perhaps the warm water simulates a fix in the soothing warmth and comfort it provides. On the fourth day, folliwing the previous three days of constipation, swim experienced a bit of diarreah and stomach cramping. These symptoms, however were easily relieved by one dose of immodium. As for the mental anxiety, swim found valerian root combined with 5-htp to be the most effective remedy. All in all, the experience taught me that without prescription strength relief (benzos( heroin withdrawal is somethong that must simply be toughed out, as agonozing as it is. Remember hough- warm baths, valerian root, 5-htp, and plenty of fluids!
 
^thanks for the info. Thankfully i do not have access to heroin whatsoever, hydromorphone is a different story but i don't mess with it anymore, too many sktechy people who sell it. My withdrawal wasn't horrible as i tapered a lot and moved to kratom first, which i recommend anyone do. But of course i had to pay the piper somehow so when i came off all opiates and kratom, i had a pretty bad withdrawal for about a week, which also coincided with a massive drop in my benzo use (ran out, only had enough to keep me from dying) so overall, one of the worst weeks i've experienced in a while.

really hot baths are a great idea though, especially for restless legs. That's the worst part. This threaad was started almost 2 months ago and i still get restless legs and constant bowel movements lol, not loose ones anymore at least. I think i'm at the end of it and the PAWS are about over as well. That kind of hell will keep me from opiates for a long time now. Clonidine is also a big help but it's tough getting anything from my Dr. i used propranolol in the past and it was quite helpful (my blood pressure skyrockets during opiate withdrawal).
 
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