Alcohol Help Figuring Out Alcohol Moderation

[Jabberwocky]

So I’ve been struggling with drinking with my partner (almost fourteen 1oz shots of Absolut/Cuervo per night 2-4 times per week). I’m trying to limit my drinking for the sake of moderation that way I don’t have to go on Naltrexone
I’m a 21 y/o female at 5’6” and 245lbs. Would 4oz of vodka/tequila one per week or every two weeks be too much? I’ve been able to easily manage cutting down drinking this much, but I’m not sure how excessive that is. Much of the data surrounding alcohol use is pretty conflicting and most of it only clarifies gender differences in recommended (moderated) alcohol consumption. Weight and age are rarely discussed unless used for calculating BAC.

My partner and I definitely have issues with drug use but he more specifically feels he needs someone to do drugs with to feel okay. I just have alcohol dependence (whether he’s there or not) and like to do acid every few months or so. I wouldn’t be heavily/regularly drinking if it wasn’t for his “need” to do drugs socially. I am aware though that I’m enabling myself, I could leave him to do drugs by himself if I really wanted.

 

[deficiT]

Having a couple drinks once every week or two, sounds like a good start if you're trying to moderate your drinking.

It sounds like your use is too tangled up with your partners. Try and not let your partners use determine when you're using. Have you communicated with him about this at all?

 

[Jabberwocky]

My partner and I definitely have issues with drug use but he more specifically feels he needs someone to do drugs with to feel okay. I just have alcohol dependence (whether he’s there or not) and like to do acid every few months or so. I wouldn’t be heavily/regularly drinking if it wasn’t for his “need” to do drugs socially. I am aware though that I’m enabling myself, I could leave him to do drugs by himself if I really wanted.

I’m curious. Does your drinking pattern change in the days or weeks immediately following your acid trips? I find I have little interest in any intoxicants for a while after tripping.

 

[OpiateKiller]

4 shots is a hell of a lot better than 14. I’ve been a big drinker and at 21 years old too. 14 shots multiple times a week is beyond a problem drinker and headed more towards an alcoholic honestly.

If you can cut back to less than 6 drinks and keep it under 4 days a week that’s a big improvement, if you can do it 2 days a week that is too.

Alcohol really digs it’s talons in in my experience when you become a daily drinker, so try not to rely on it on a daily basis

 

[Jabberwocky]

Having a couple drinks once every week or two, sounds like a good start if you're trying to moderate your drinking.

It sounds like your use is too tangled up with your partners. Try and not let your partners use determine when you're using. Have you communicated with him about this at all?

I’ve tried to, I essentially told him that I often feel obligated to drink with him because using drugs is one of the ways he bonds with people. But I’ve increasingly expressed that I need to lighten up on use because my family has a history of drug/alcohol abuse and paired with my mental problems it’s a really bad mix. I’m not sure how serious he takes it though. I’ve tried to explain that what we’ve done (14 shots multiple times a week) is binge drinking, but because “we don’t do it everyday” he sees it as not being a problem. I just have to wean myself off it alone which makes it harder.

 

[Jabberwocky]

4 shots is a hell of a lot better than 14. I’ve been a big drinker and at 21 years old too. 14 shots multiple times a week is beyond a problem drinker and headed more towards an alcoholic honestly.

If you can cut back to less than 6 drinks and keep it under 4 days a week that’s a big improvement, if you can do it 2 days a week that is too.

Alcohol really digs it’s talons in in my experience when you become a daily drinker, so try not to rely on it on a daily basis

Thank you! I agree with what you’re saying. I don’t necessarily feel I’m in a place where alcohol is something I feel I need to compulsively do, but because my partner uses it to feel connected with others, I’ve done it so he feels we have something to bond over. Granted I have my own issues in life and have a family history of alcohol/drug abuse, but prior to us getting together I’d never done nor wanted to do any kind of drug. We started with MDMA every month or so for 2-3 months, and it was fun until I started getting blood in my vomit on come ups and then I stopped. Weed has never been my thing and that’s his primary interest. I got hooked on acid for a while and was doing it nearly every weekend for about 8 months, but it eventually phased out to every few months or so. But basically we started drinking (as in my first time getting drunk) a few months before my 21st birthday (JUN2020) and have been drinking every weekend since.
I haven’t yet gotten to the point of daily drinking but I know how worried I get when I drink more than twice a week on weekends.

 

[Jabberwocky]

I’m curious. Does your drinking pattern change in the days or weeks immediately following your acid trips? I find I have little interest in any intoxicants for a while after tripping.

I don’t drink at all on acid and typically I don’t drink before either. I think the mental dissociation from acid paired with the mental numbing from alcohol doesn’t mix well for me so I avoid it.
After tripping I don’t really notice a change in my drinking patterns, I still go back to once or twice on the weekends with the same intensity. To me drinking is pointless if you aren’t pretty buzzed or entirely drunk, so it makes no sense to me how people casually drink.