I'm sorry youre feeling this way, I have definitely been there. Staying strong through hateful periods is very hard. But usually when I do I realize there is more positive in my life than I had previously believed. Just gotta get to the other side bro, and if youre really feeling hopeless dont be afraid to seek medical care. Sometimes that is a necessity in severe depressive episodes.
Feel free to reach out anytime. if you need to talk or support, you have my #