THE_REAL_OBLIVION
Bluelight Crew
This covers both HR and opioid use so, mods feel free to correct flags or move to another forum if it is the improper one...
I messed up, a still skateboarding and injuring himself often in his 30's friend of mine often gets some pills. I recovered from heavy Dilaudid IV use and just a look at my profile will tell my story, I was on legit painkillers, low dose percodans or oxycontins (15-20m oxy) daily, doc retired. A year of methadone, 7 of Suboxone, was transferred to the pain clinic by my ORT doc since I didn't mess up at all and my medical history proved I needed painkilling in the trad way and nerve pain way, that I only resorted to shooting up Dillies on the regular because when my doc retired, a couple years later, Oxycontin was removed, the day I left the inpatient ORT with my methadone contract, Health Canada had approved generic oxycontin from 8-9 companies almost right when OxyNeos were released because the OC patent died. I'm now on APO 60mg Oxycodone-CR once every 12 hours. But my friend showed up randomly like he always does, he spends about 4-5 hours sleeping at home and then he's out skating and getting injured now and then. Only reason I got to 32-58mg of Dilaudid IV a day was because of the temp removal of Oxycontins and the OxyIR/Supeudols...well people held to their scripts big time in that period.
So he had some 4mg brand name Dillies, major trigger for me, even more than the 8's, likely because I only got my hands on 8's, and they were generic round ones a couple times, were great, but the brand name yellows were the vehicle of my going to ORT, oral Dilaudid never worked for me, even if I ate 10 1mg pills, had to snort em minimum.
Okay now, he left me 4 of those D4 Purdue dillies even if I said I didn't need em. Well...I had some unopened Sterifilts, syringes, Maxicups, bacteriostatic water...
I shot 3 in the space of 3 weeks. Everything was fine, I wasn't slipping back into loving the prep ritual. But the 4th one....I don't know what happened, I never got a "dirty hit" when using Sterifilts, they don't let material bigger than 0.20 microns in, they're a wonderful, given for free invention unlike wheel filters. But when I shot that last Dilly basically to get rid of all the gear, the generic OC prevents the huge rush that got me hooked on em. Well, what happened was very bizarre.
I registered fine in one hand but when I pushed slowly back in, a small lump formed and I thought "fuck, I don't want to deal with putting my hand under burning hot water from the faucet...better finish the job on my other easy-to-prick vein on my other hand. It had blood from registring in it still, I know that was never a problem as long as you put it back in yourself as quickly as possible so it doesn't coagulate, I registered with what was left in the syringe on my other hand and....bam, I thought I had hit an artery (I didn't, that vein was my main one, the scar from all the use in 2011-2012 is almost gone but will likely be visible forever, slightly), suddenly my heart was pounding, I was dizzy, my breathing was laboured..but then it stopped pretty quickly, had almost no high. It was like a rush gone wrong.
A week later, I often have pain in what seems to be a kidney, the centre of my chest and now really bad headaches. That come and go, but I rarely feel nothing. I've always been the most prudent IV user I've known...but I'm afraid I might have been very unlucky and what nurses can even give you by accident, some sort of internal infection, despite washing my hands for 5 minutes and then using an alcohol pad on both hands, knowing that my awful rolling veins, naturally that way, sometimes have me switch sites...I'm afraid it's endocarditis or a pulmonary emboli...but if it was any of that, the awful bad rush and its symptoms disappearing within 2-3 minutes and then a few days of no seeming sequelea, I'm very confused at could be causing the headaches, mid-back pain on my left side (bad rush second injection with blood from my other hand vein was on the right hand), sometimes chest pain that goes away eventually.
I'm sick of this crap, I wake up this morning a week later now with a headache and what seems like kidney pain, not sure if it is, but I do also have problems feeling like I emptied my bladder completely since then too. I take Mobic (meloxicam) to get rid of the headaches and general malaise on top of the oxycodone-CR and nope...the headache persists in the background, I don't feel the pain but I know it's there and the mid-back pain is awful and my job requires sitting,
I'm pretty pissed off at myself for playing with needles again, but knowing that Sterifilts (which I don't re-use, like the needles, I ask the street workers for one unit of everything that used to be in the IV kits all pharmacies used to give away around here, now only one does and they're the pharmacy in town that gives the methadone+orange juice from the local ORT clinic, I left that pharmacy when I got off Suboxone.
Anyways, what's going on? I had cotton fever/dirty hits before and they were gone after taking aspirin and tylenol at the same time right afterwards. Maybe it's entirely unrelatd...but I fear for myself seriously here...the fact that symptoms go away and that I don't feel like I'm gonna pass out and need to call emergencies tell me its not critical...but I never had a "bad rush", except maybe with high dose morphine shots, the histamine reaction can be something from a well filtered MS IR 30...but not from a 4mg Dilly in a completely sterile kit and a SteriFilt for my needle. The fact it went away so quickly and left me with zero high is bizarre too. Not counterfeit pills either..my friend had his bottle from the pharmacy and he'd never order things online, he's well known enough for his skateboarding that getting painkillers for when he fumbles bad is not a big problem for him, he's been in magazines and shit...
It could just be the other health issue I have acting up, but if it's that, not much can be done about it. The bad hit without cotton fever from a sterifilt filtered brand name dilaudid 4 and the extremely fast heartbeat for a minute is something I never experienced back when I was shooting up 32-58mg a day of Dilaudid, using the crappy little cotton filters in SecuriCups containers because we didn't get SteriFilts for free at the local exchange back then, so thankfully all I could get was dangerous inactive ingredient-free brand name Canadian Purdue Dilaudids...I know the US P4's and such have more crap, our Dx's just have easily filtered away magnesium stearate and anhydrous lactose....
I'm so thoroughly clean when I fuck around like an idiot like this just because I miss the leg-to-head full blown orgasm x100 hydromorphone rush, did I bother doing this...I can't believe that I would have given myself some disease...but even nurses can give you endocarditis by accident when injecting you with something....when should I get worried enough to show up at the ER (my hands don't show any injection sites anymore, something I really wanted to go away before getting any help, no way do I want the pain clinic to know about this stupid error in judgement I had and throw me back at the ORT clinic. I didn't even want those damn dillies, but I said fine whatever, leave me what you want on the kitchen table buddy, I got gear I gotta use from when I still fucked around with needles... If it's my other health issue that I won't discuss here, well, let's say it's gonna be REALLY time for me to get that surgery that I got the green light for over a year ago, but covid messed everything up, nothing's moving regarding that, despite the longer they make me wait, the longer it could turn into something really bad. That goddamn covid that's almost non-existent now in my corner of Canada is a joke and there's no reason to make people wait for important surgeries anymore, not sure there ever was...they continued doing surgeries at the hospital even when they quarantined whole floors because of influenza in the past.
Pretty afraid for myself right here is what's going on...
I messed up, a still skateboarding and injuring himself often in his 30's friend of mine often gets some pills. I recovered from heavy Dilaudid IV use and just a look at my profile will tell my story, I was on legit painkillers, low dose percodans or oxycontins (15-20m oxy) daily, doc retired. A year of methadone, 7 of Suboxone, was transferred to the pain clinic by my ORT doc since I didn't mess up at all and my medical history proved I needed painkilling in the trad way and nerve pain way, that I only resorted to shooting up Dillies on the regular because when my doc retired, a couple years later, Oxycontin was removed, the day I left the inpatient ORT with my methadone contract, Health Canada had approved generic oxycontin from 8-9 companies almost right when OxyNeos were released because the OC patent died. I'm now on APO 60mg Oxycodone-CR once every 12 hours. But my friend showed up randomly like he always does, he spends about 4-5 hours sleeping at home and then he's out skating and getting injured now and then. Only reason I got to 32-58mg of Dilaudid IV a day was because of the temp removal of Oxycontins and the OxyIR/Supeudols...well people held to their scripts big time in that period.
So he had some 4mg brand name Dillies, major trigger for me, even more than the 8's, likely because I only got my hands on 8's, and they were generic round ones a couple times, were great, but the brand name yellows were the vehicle of my going to ORT, oral Dilaudid never worked for me, even if I ate 10 1mg pills, had to snort em minimum.
Okay now, he left me 4 of those D4 Purdue dillies even if I said I didn't need em. Well...I had some unopened Sterifilts, syringes, Maxicups, bacteriostatic water...
I shot 3 in the space of 3 weeks. Everything was fine, I wasn't slipping back into loving the prep ritual. But the 4th one....I don't know what happened, I never got a "dirty hit" when using Sterifilts, they don't let material bigger than 0.20 microns in, they're a wonderful, given for free invention unlike wheel filters. But when I shot that last Dilly basically to get rid of all the gear, the generic OC prevents the huge rush that got me hooked on em. Well, what happened was very bizarre.
I registered fine in one hand but when I pushed slowly back in, a small lump formed and I thought "fuck, I don't want to deal with putting my hand under burning hot water from the faucet...better finish the job on my other easy-to-prick vein on my other hand. It had blood from registring in it still, I know that was never a problem as long as you put it back in yourself as quickly as possible so it doesn't coagulate, I registered with what was left in the syringe on my other hand and....bam, I thought I had hit an artery (I didn't, that vein was my main one, the scar from all the use in 2011-2012 is almost gone but will likely be visible forever, slightly), suddenly my heart was pounding, I was dizzy, my breathing was laboured..but then it stopped pretty quickly, had almost no high. It was like a rush gone wrong.
A week later, I often have pain in what seems to be a kidney, the centre of my chest and now really bad headaches. That come and go, but I rarely feel nothing. I've always been the most prudent IV user I've known...but I'm afraid I might have been very unlucky and what nurses can even give you by accident, some sort of internal infection, despite washing my hands for 5 minutes and then using an alcohol pad on both hands, knowing that my awful rolling veins, naturally that way, sometimes have me switch sites...I'm afraid it's endocarditis or a pulmonary emboli...but if it was any of that, the awful bad rush and its symptoms disappearing within 2-3 minutes and then a few days of no seeming sequelea, I'm very confused at could be causing the headaches, mid-back pain on my left side (bad rush second injection with blood from my other hand vein was on the right hand), sometimes chest pain that goes away eventually.
I'm sick of this crap, I wake up this morning a week later now with a headache and what seems like kidney pain, not sure if it is, but I do also have problems feeling like I emptied my bladder completely since then too. I take Mobic (meloxicam) to get rid of the headaches and general malaise on top of the oxycodone-CR and nope...the headache persists in the background, I don't feel the pain but I know it's there and the mid-back pain is awful and my job requires sitting,
I'm pretty pissed off at myself for playing with needles again, but knowing that Sterifilts (which I don't re-use, like the needles, I ask the street workers for one unit of everything that used to be in the IV kits all pharmacies used to give away around here, now only one does and they're the pharmacy in town that gives the methadone+orange juice from the local ORT clinic, I left that pharmacy when I got off Suboxone.
Anyways, what's going on? I had cotton fever/dirty hits before and they were gone after taking aspirin and tylenol at the same time right afterwards. Maybe it's entirely unrelatd...but I fear for myself seriously here...the fact that symptoms go away and that I don't feel like I'm gonna pass out and need to call emergencies tell me its not critical...but I never had a "bad rush", except maybe with high dose morphine shots, the histamine reaction can be something from a well filtered MS IR 30...but not from a 4mg Dilly in a completely sterile kit and a SteriFilt for my needle. The fact it went away so quickly and left me with zero high is bizarre too. Not counterfeit pills either..my friend had his bottle from the pharmacy and he'd never order things online, he's well known enough for his skateboarding that getting painkillers for when he fumbles bad is not a big problem for him, he's been in magazines and shit...
It could just be the other health issue I have acting up, but if it's that, not much can be done about it. The bad hit without cotton fever from a sterifilt filtered brand name dilaudid 4 and the extremely fast heartbeat for a minute is something I never experienced back when I was shooting up 32-58mg a day of Dilaudid, using the crappy little cotton filters in SecuriCups containers because we didn't get SteriFilts for free at the local exchange back then, so thankfully all I could get was dangerous inactive ingredient-free brand name Canadian Purdue Dilaudids...I know the US P4's and such have more crap, our Dx's just have easily filtered away magnesium stearate and anhydrous lactose....
I'm so thoroughly clean when I fuck around like an idiot like this just because I miss the leg-to-head full blown orgasm x100 hydromorphone rush, did I bother doing this...I can't believe that I would have given myself some disease...but even nurses can give you endocarditis by accident when injecting you with something....when should I get worried enough to show up at the ER (my hands don't show any injection sites anymore, something I really wanted to go away before getting any help, no way do I want the pain clinic to know about this stupid error in judgement I had and throw me back at the ORT clinic. I didn't even want those damn dillies, but I said fine whatever, leave me what you want on the kitchen table buddy, I got gear I gotta use from when I still fucked around with needles... If it's my other health issue that I won't discuss here, well, let's say it's gonna be REALLY time for me to get that surgery that I got the green light for over a year ago, but covid messed everything up, nothing's moving regarding that, despite the longer they make me wait, the longer it could turn into something really bad. That goddamn covid that's almost non-existent now in my corner of Canada is a joke and there's no reason to make people wait for important surgeries anymore, not sure there ever was...they continued doing surgeries at the hospital even when they quarantined whole floors because of influenza in the past.
Pretty afraid for myself right here is what's going on...
