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HELP: dating with no friends

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slr please

okay so im 24, normal guy. in school/crappy job. im not shy and have no trouble talkin to women. the problem is im afraid of starting a real relationship. why?

im quiet. i like to stay at home. dont have much friends cuz honestly i dont want them. they call/txt to hang, i just say im busy cuz id rather stay home.

but i miss companionship and there are a few girls that have shown interest. (wat can i say, im a mack lol) i would like to start dating, not just fuckin around like i have been: a girl a week, flirt/kiss/fuck/move on/etc. i want something serious now.

then i think "wtf are we going to do?" i like to stay at home. she might want to meet my friends, what do i say? is it just going to be all 1-on-1 dates? dinner and a movie AGAIN?! dont couples go out with other couples? do i need friends before i get a gf? or does she just come over and lounge at my apartment all the time?

i dont want to be boring and lose her. theres only so many things to do in this town LOL
 
Find a girl who had the same mindset as you. That way, she'll know what to expect and can't get mad at you for being a homebody. By the way, there's nothing wrong with being the way you are, you just have to find someone who understands.
 
^ Yeah, that's it. There are plenty of people who wont mind that you don't have many friends, and plenty of people who wont mind or will prefer doing one on one activities or having your own time apart. I'll reiterate what Tude said, there's nothing wrong with the way you are, and you shouldn't feel like you have to be different to get a girlfriend.

I'm an introverted girl and I'm happy to spend a lot of my time alone. I used to feel bad about it, or embarrassed about it with boyfriends, and feel like maybe I wasn't doing enough for them, and that they'd think I was a loser if I didn't introduce them to a million friends and have a cranking social life they could join in.

These days I'm happy the way I am, my life makes me happy. I've never had a guy tell me I didn't have enough friends for them to be with me. I think you're stressing yourself out unecessarily with all these questions:

then i think "wtf are we going to do?" i like to stay at home. she might want to meet my friends, what do i say? is it just going to be all 1-on-1 dates? dinner and a movie AGAIN?! dont couples go out with other couples?
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There's so many things you can do. Include her in all the activities you would have done alone, or do others, you're really not limited much by not having friends. I love driving with my boyfriend and going camping, fishing and bushwalking, that's one suggestion. But all suggestions will be specific on your relationship. Maybe you'll both have a love of op shopping and spend time finding new stores, maybe you'll enjoy creating art, or discussing drugs...you're really not limited at all!

If she wants to meet your friends, it could feel awkward answering the question, but depending on the question specifically there's ways to answer it. If she says 'what are your friends doing this weekend, maybe we could all go out?' you could say, I don't know anything that's going on this weekend, but I love this dj/event/art exhibition that's going on this weekend, do you want to come with me?' Or if she asks flat out if you have friends, just say that you don't have anyone you're that close with at the moment. It's not an intrinsically bad thing, and if you're happy with your life, people will respect that. In fact it's respectable to give the impression you choose the kind of person you have in your life - including if that choice is to have noone at the time being. It shows confidence in yourself. And, if someone I really liked didn't have many friends it wouldn't affect my impression of them in a negative way.

One on one dates are not only dinner and movies, there's so many possibilities. I don't think couples going out with other couples is any kind of prerequisite. You make it sound so terrible if all your dates are one on one or she comes to lounge at your apartment, but what is so bad about that? I think you're projecting your fears onto every potential date. How do you know you wont meet someone who feels exactly like you, and wont want to be mega social all the time?
 
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I don't really have that many friends either and it's because of choice. I started dating my boyfriend, we hung out with his friends, and we did other things as well. Going out to movies, dinner, walks in the park, mini golf, bowling, baking cookies, watching movies at his place, going to clubs. So far, we've met two other couples that we hang out with on occasion (maybe once a month we hang out with each of them) but that really isn't much if you think about it. But still, gives us something different to do. And the other couples are pretty cool. We just met them at clubs/parties so that was nice. It worked out.
Anyway, what I'm saying is, there are lots of things you can do. I guess not having friends is "different" but it's not really that bad. Some people don't need friends the same way.
 
If you "mack" as much as you say, finding a girlfriend shouldn't be any different. The only thing you change in your "flirt/kiss/fuck/move on" process is the move on part. If a girl is willing to fuck you without you having to impress her with dates or an active social life, she'll probably date you without them too.
 
learn about attraction, it will give you alot of direction

if you hook up with a girl who has a social status as a priority then she not for you

attract the woman you want on your terms, slow and steady
 
shit Tyrone, get it together!

Find a girl who does not care. IF this is not acceptable AND you are as much of a mack as you claim THEN GOTO club and make friends. UNTIL friends > 0
 
You keep a wall up to protect yourself because you don’t want to get hurt.And so you are back behind this wall.Is it really pain free behind the wall? Doesn’t the loneliness hurt, and doesn't the fear hurt, and doesn't the constant turmoil up or down hurt? So it seems to me that if you go behind the wall you are guaranteed to be hurt and if you come out from behind the wall you MIGHT get hurt. You might get hurt from out behind the wall, but as least you have the upside of things
 
It makes it easier for Friend George and Relationship George to remain separate, I see no harm it it at all.

The only weird thing is going to bars alone, but if you go to a popular enough bar or club it's not going to matter as you're just trying to get one on one with a chick anyway, and it makes leaving with her alone easier. It's in the smaller bars where you can look like a weirdo if you're sitting off by yourself trying to hit on random people.
 
CoffeeDrinker said:
It makes it easier for Friend George and Relationship George to remain separate, I see no harm it it at all.

The only weird thing is going to bars alone, but if you go to a popular enough bar or club it's not going to matter as you're just trying to get one on one with a chick anyway, and it makes leaving with her alone easier. It's in the smaller bars where you can look like a weirdo if you're sitting off by yourself trying to hit on random people.
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Indulgence doesn’t prepare, indulgence can cripple a child because the world won’t indulge her.
 
Coming from a guy with basically no relationship experience, you probably don't want a girl that wants to go out with out couples and such, because you've already said that's not something you enjoy. If solitude (or not hanging out with other doods all the time) is a major part of who you are, you might not want a girl who wants to do exactly that all the time. Then again, maybe you do. You might also find that going to hang out with your buddies is a very different experience when your girl goes with you, especially if your friends are also with their girls.

You've said your social skills are fine, so after a few dates, just tell her you're a solitary type of guy. But importantly, first show her that you know how to socialize when you want to. That way you come across as "I'm a cool social guy that's fun to be around, but I just prefer to be left alone a lot of the time" rather than "I have no friends because I have no social skills please date me?"
 
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