Hello New Here!Desperate For Honest Advice

[outsidemyself]

Hi everyone ,how are you? It is my hope to get well and soon help another.I have a typical opiate/pain med.addiction story.You know it got so awful all I could do was think if I had enough pills to avoid withdrawal..I was not getting high anymore,just a useless existence..in so much psychological pain.Then last year suoxone was introduced to me.I was on it for a few months then went to detox to get off of it.When I returned home the real hell started.I was overwhelmed with the darkest depression ever,I was just like the walking dead..no joy,no energy..suicide crossed my mind occasionally,insomnia,anxiety,fear..went to na/aa meeting after meeting,worked closely with my sponsor,praying and taking advice from the people who came earlier than me.Nothing!relieved this pain.SoTHEN..here it comes,I had a thought..I know in the past psychiatrists used to use opiates as a last resort to treat depression(along long time ago)and I had tried every med and nothing helped to relieve this depression at all...I could hardly get my son dressed for school..I saw no hope at all.SO I called my doc who gave me the suoxone previously and told him I relapsed and we started the suoxone again..him thinking I relapsed and me trying to lift this depression.At last it worked...however here I am again with to many health issues to stay on it...and the reality setting in again that I cant stay on it forever.I am going to an outpatient detox and I am going to spend that time at my mothers.The question is ..what can a doc. do to keep me from loosing my mind and keep me comfortable during detox...and will that depression creep in again...I am truly scared,have I permanently done my self in..please! any advice at all..thank you and much love to the fellow sufferers

 

[Jabberwocky]

Welcome outsidemyself. You might want to check out the Dark Side sub-forum in the drug discussion section and introduce yourself in the intro thread there. Other Drugs and Basic Drug Discussion are great forums for getting good info on opiates, how they work, tapering, and the like. The Dark Side is more about emotional support.

Glad to hear you are getting help and I hope things go much more smoothly than you are expecting. I am not sure what all a doctor can do but I'd go ahead and explain that post opiate living is very uncomfortable and weather it is PAWS or an underlying condition you really need some help.

 

[gavatron@oz]

hello outside myself,

im sorry to hear a out what u are going through,im sure it is hell on earth by what you have explained. Im sure you will find your way through this and create a better life,for both you and your son.

Unfortunately i have minimal experience in ooiate withdrawal and treatment. My best advice is to look in the dark side forums,and most of all-- contact a moderator called CAPTAIN HEROIN-he will have some very useful info for u..even if you dont contact him,he wilk read this within the next 36 hrs and contact you.

I wish you alk the best..gavatron.... Please contact him if possiblel

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Welcome to Bluelight!

My feelings on this is that I have a few questions:

1) to clarify, did you randomly stop taking Suboxone at a high dosage? Or did you taper off of it?

2) have you ascertained why you were using opiates in the first place? I.E. are you a pain patient or were you just using opiates for recreation?

this leads me to believe you might possibly have ADD/ADHD, or another problem, which needs medicating. For myself, I had a lot of the same problems you are experiencing after opiate usage and some lasted about a year, others kept lingering on.

I have been on Suboxone for a few years and am still on it, and by itself it just doesn't do enough for me.

I have been diagnosed with ADHD and went into the process with an open mind, eventually realized that I do indeed have ADHD, and ever since getting on the right medication, I feel a lot better.

This definitely isn't every opiate addict's situation; not all of them have ADD/ADHD. However it was the case for me, and I know people who are like this too, and after they realized they needed help and got on medication, at the least, had a lot less desire to use drugs, if not having any interest in their prior drug habit from before.

also,

3) how did you feel before using opiates?

 

[outsidemyself]

Thank you Gavatron and Enki for the direction and kindness.Cap.Heroin I am gonna do my best to answer your questions in order. #1 I was slowly tapered off in detox.#2 It started for pain and then became recreational(my true love;() Funny you mention ADD I was diagnosed with this before I went to detox,but the doc said we will deal with it after you return home,but then the doc at detox put me on..hmmm its not controlled its like an antidepressant that you have to titrate your way up in dose,forgot the name,but all it did was make me tremble and sweat severely..so then when I returned home I just sat in meeting dripping sweat,it was very noticeable and embarrassing.So I stopped it,scared to bring it up again for fear of my family thinking I am still drug seeking.I know my ADD has been with me my whole life and so does my family.Your last question"how did I feel before opiates?"I was always a little different my nick name was scooter,I could not sit still..lol.One time at the age of 11 they gave me cough meds. with codeine and it felt like the missing puzzle piece,spent years as an alcoholic,still am but not drinking currently..til this day I swear I took those pills just to feel:normal"Now I am getting ready to detox again and I am scared to say the least...thanks for listening sincerely

 

[smackcraft]

welcome to BL

 

[Swerlz]

Welcome to Bluelight

You'll find some great people to relate to here. There's always someone else going through what you are

 

[outsidemyself]

thanks
all!

 

[Captain.Heroin]

My advice

Thank you Gavatron and Enki for the direction and kindness.Cap.Heroin I am gonna do my best to answer your questions in order. #1 I was slowly tapered off in detox.#2 It started for pain and then became recreational(my true love;() Funny you mention ADD I was diagnosed with this before I went to detox,but the doc said we will deal with it after you return home,but then the doc at detox put me on..hmmm its not controlled its like an antidepressant that you have to titrate your way up in dose,forgot the name,but all it did was make me tremble and sweat severely..so then when I returned home I just sat in meeting dripping sweat,it was very noticeable and embarrassing.So I stopped it,scared to bring it up again for fear of my family thinking I am still drug seeking.I know my ADD has been with me my whole life and so does my family.Your last question"how did I feel before opiates?"I was always a little different my nick name was scooter,I could not sit still..lol.One time at the age of 11 they gave me cough meds. with codeine and it felt like the missing puzzle piece,spent years as an alcoholic,still am but not drinking currently..til this day I swear I took those pills just to feel:normal"Now I am getting ready to detox again and I am scared to say the least...thanks for listening sincerely

It sounds like you were properly tapered off buprenorphine, I think you just need some ADHD medicine now. Have you a blood pressure cuff? Measuring your own blood pressure at home is really helpful. If you have high blood pressure, this could explain some of your symptoms as well as it could exacerbate your ADHD.

Having ones blood pressure taken at a doctor's office isn't always accurate as most people are nervous in front of a doctor. Or, they just had to run into the office so as to not be late, etc. - so measuring your blood pressure at home in your spare time can be helpful.

Do you exercise enough on your own throughout each week? This can really help how you feel a lot - it has always helped me out.

I would continue trying new ADHD medicines with a psychiatrist until you find the one that works best for you. If you know Adderall didn't work well for you, make this known, and ask to try something new.