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Hello New from Indiana

Heychristina

Heychristina

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 27, 2010
Messages
13
Location
Indiana
So. I have had soo many questions for soo long and havent been able to get any answers. I have been on methadone on and off for over 6 years for opiate addiction. the past 2 1/2 I got serious about it. I have weekly take homes. My monthly UD's (urinary drops) are clean. My fees are $77 a week. But my clinic goes thru councelors like mad. even the one doctor they keep on staff ALways changes. well on my last yearly physical i was FOrced to go from 90mgs to 80mgs. this did not sit well w me. they have a catch 22 at my clinic. say ur lowered dose doesnt work? owell. say u use bcuase it doesnt work. well ok then they MIght up ur dose, but only after u lose ur take home privilages bcuase u used dope which broke the rules. ah yes...the rules. we do not have counceling treatments at my clinic. all UD's r supposed to b observed. they have two mirrors in the bathroom. one by door one behind toilet they stand outside the open door and watch thru these mirrors. that is when these "councelors" feel like getting up. and when i complained about withdrawl from being lowered on my dose the doctor actually had the nerve to say to me "You dont withdrawl from methadone." WHAT?? I have heard that at some places they have a blood test to see how your metabolism is using ur methadone. is this true? does any of what i said sound familiar to anyone with their clinics?
 
Captain.Heroin said:
Welcome to Bluelight!

BTW You will go through withdrawal when coming off of methadone.
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Yea I know thats why i practically screamed "what??". As i stated I've been at this for over 6 years. Came off it quite a few times b4 takin it
seriously. The first time i tapered down by 5mgs a week but that was WAY too fast. the withdrawls r awful. the first time i got on it they went thru this song and dance about not expecting to get off any time soon. they still show the same videos that talk of ppl being on it for life while waiting at appointments but then u got ur doc and councelor forcing u to start tapering down and sayin things such as "well now you gotta start to think of getting off soon." To b honest, this may sound bad but i feel like i am in NO hurry to get off. my life is comfortable, i am not using dope, i can get up in the mornings wo worrying about who i might rip off that day or what i can pawn, and i can go to work wo worrying about whether i am too high or not high enough. i am afraid EVERY damn weekly pickup that they have some nw BS goin on that will stop me treatment.
 
If you aren't ready to quit, don't sweat it. Explain that you fear relapsing. You can also describe what your cravings are like, so that they can realize you still need to be on maintenance.

I used heroin for a whole year, and I have been on buprenorphine maintenance for longer than that. You aren't alone, a lot of people need to stay on maintenance for a while.

If you aren't using dope, and you are comfortable, you are doing it right. :D
 
I havent used heroin in over 3 years. It took a while longer to quit coke but now it has been about 1 year since using that too. but the scary part is its hard to not aweat it becuase it seems like my clinic knows not what they say. i fear they will make me drop lower in my dose when i really really dont want to. Even my councelor says at times that I need to think about getting off. But I am happy and thriving right now. Anyway, thanks for the support.
 
Heychristina said:
I havent used heroin in over 3 years. It took a while longer to quit coke but now it has been about 1 year since using that too. but the scary part is its hard to not aweat it becuase it seems like my clinic knows not what they say. i fear they will make me drop lower in my dose when i really really dont want to. Even my councelor says at times that I need to think about getting off. But I am happy and thriving right now. Anyway, thanks for the support.
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No problem! Quitting dope isn't easy, you've come a far way. Keep up the good work!
 
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