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Hello, My name is Shana and I'm an addict:)

PhattyBangin

PhattyBangin

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Joined
Jun 22, 2013
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I just wanted to say Hello to everyone and introduce myself. I am a 34 year old female from Baltimore, Md. I have struggled greatly with Opiate addiction for the last 6 years. Only ever trying Oxycodone, OxyContin, and recently Suboxone the most. However last night I decided to stick on a 25mg Fentanyl patch (which sucks!) after a couple days of eating 15's. I really am struggling with this Love/ Hate relationship with Opiates! I have secluded myself totally in the last year and find that most don't understand or have sympathy towards addicts/addiction! Hoping to find a few friends or just find some interesting forums or information.
Thanks for letting Me share! Lol
PhattyBangin:P
 
Hey girl heeey! Welcome to BL. I am also an addict. 30 year old female in NY. I understand the love/hate with opiates a little too well. Those are my DOC. Anywho, I think you will find a lot of love here. There's lots of good info and good times here so have fun lookin around <3
 
I understand your situation well Shana.The only thing that worked for me was self admitted detox.Worst week of my entire life.
2 yrs free from the thing I loved and hated that almost ruined me.
I deal with my pain now with small amounts of MXE- works for me but you have to be very careful to avoid the mania of it all.

good luck and peace be with you
sign me>
ex addict/hydrocodone slave
 
I know just how you feel.... I'm friends with addicts (and married to one) but none of them continue to hold on to that same craving that opiate addicts have which never seems to go away after any amount of 'clean' time. I need someone anonymous to talk to because I've been good at playing it off most of the time but it still claws at me. BTW I've been dealing with this on and off for over a decade now and it doesn't seem to get easier. NA meetings are good while you're there but I must be doing something wrong since I haven't had that 'special' moment that removed the craving from my body/mind. I'm here to talk anytime you want!
Supergirl228
 
Welcome to bL. I'd recommend checking out Sober Living in our Recovery Support section. You'll find tons of caring informed people there, that will understand what you're going through.

Feel free to use the PM me link in my signature if you have any questions, and I hope to hear that things improve for you. <3
 
Hey Shana! I've struggled for many years with opiate addiction so I know where you're coming from. I had a brief stint with heroin as a teenager but really got hooked on roxies/oxys after a spinal fusion to repair a fractured vertebra (stupid rugby). That was about 7 years ago and I've been opiate-free for less than a year now. For me, I always thought that eventually I would hit the "rock bottom" I always heard about but because my doctors were my dealers, I encountered very few life-altering consequences resulting from my addiction, like legal or financial trouble. I would run through my scripts in less than 2 weeks and then spend the next 2 dealing with WDs. Long story short, I was driving myself crazy and with the help of my doctors managed to get off them. I've been opiate-free for 9 months, 16 days :)

It's a daily struggle, though. The worst are the vivid dreams I have about using. Seems like I wake up everyday with mega-cravings or thinking I actually did use and blew my sobriety. Sucks.

I hope you find some support!

Namaste

Bandit
 
PhattyBangin said:
I just wanted to say Hello to everyone and introduce myself. I am a 34 year old female from Baltimore, Md. I have struggled greatly with Opiate addiction for the last 6 years. Only ever trying Oxycodone, OxyContin, and recently Suboxone the most. However last night I decided to stick on a 25mg Fentanyl patch (which sucks!) after a couple days of eating 15's. I really am struggling with this Love/ Hate relationship with Opiates! I have secluded myself totally in the last year and find that most don't understand or have sympathy towards addicts/addiction! Hoping to find a few friends or just find some interesting forums or information.
Thanks for letting Me share! Lol
PhattyBangin:P
Click to expand...

I am also a recovering addict and just recently moved to the Baltimore area. I don't know anyone here and it gets very lonely! Glad to hear I am not alone in my struggle with opiates.
 
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